Do you all eat together as a family at the table?

[fredtbad]

I just wondered if there were many MNers who do sit down and eat together at the table. I have two children aged 2.9 & 13mo and every meal is at the table, but amongst friends this seems to be the exception rather than the rule. I don't know whether it's connected, but they almost all have faddy/fussy eaters who won't eat the same as their parents, and they don't eat together at the table.
What say you ladies?

Can anyone help me here...? Yes as a rule 9/10 times we all sit down together to eat in the evening. Me and dd (aged 2) always eat breakfast together as dh at work by then. She will stay in her highchair for meal, often asks to get down but I don't let her and she accepts it. However, different story when we go out (which we used to do at least once a week until this problem started age 18 mos) or at friends or friends at ours. She will create until I let her get down which is a) embarassing and b) unfair on the other parents/children as they may not want to let their kids down but my one is setting a precedent.
Does anyone have any advice to solve this problem as we're off to centre parcs in 4 weeks with another family and don't want this issue to ruin holiday/friendship.

Hmmm, we took Dd out of her highchair and into a normal chair at the table when she was 2.6, we made a fuss of her being a good girl and praised her every couple of minutes for sitting still and having lovely manners ( she loved this ). We told her she could sit in the 'big girls chair' if she would be good etc. When starting to misbehave or tried to get down we simply warned her that she would have to sit in the baby seat. This worked a treat! It was hard work praising every couple of minutes whilst trying to eat as well, but it worked. Now she is 2.9 we have taught her to ask to leave the table when she's finished, which she does. However, we have yet to venture out into restaurants whicvh funnily enough we are going to do this weekend.
HTH

I'm cutting myself some slack. If it was just dd to consider (2.6) it would be enjoyable to eat together...but it's not, there's 0.9 year old ds too. And quite honestly I want to enjoy my fecking meal - not shove it down quickly barely tasteing it, whilst I try and guide a spoon into baby ds' mouth and attempt to stop him throwing food as opposed to eating it.

Personally I think families with children under 18 months are exempt.....

I do try and eat a slice of toast with my two to keep them company at teatime, but then have my proper dinner after they have hit the sack. This will change when baby ds is a more competent eater (like his sister). Then I will instigate family meals....(albeit minus their dad who is out working all hours)

i have three kids, 4 ,14, and 16 and a dp . we are not very good at eating all together. i wish we did more. but with teenagers and four yr old they often need to eat at different times. I go out two/three evenings a week to teach aerobics so we often eat at different times. its sad not to sit together more. when we can i suggest it and dp says no. so am lost !

Yes, we eat together in the dining room. Six can fit around the kitchen table, so we use that if anyone is absent for any reason.

fretbad - thanks for the advice. I look forward to hearing how you get on this weeekend! My dd is only 2.1 months and still in love with her highchair/cot etc. Likes being a baby. Took her to MacDonalds last night (figured she would have to be best behaved in there considering their normal clientele) and she begged for highchair!! Just can't win.

We usually all eat together, wherever possible. I agree it can be very hard work - DS1 is almost 3 and DS2 is 15 months - but do notice that, normally, the boys eat more this way.

When we go out, we go to child friendly places - a local bar and a local restaurant. At one, there is room to run around and at the other, there is a big play area just outside for before and after the meal. The table manners are by no means perfect but for me, eating is supposed to be a social thing.

we try to eat all together but it depends on dh's shift as to when he gets home, but if dd eats alone i always sit with a drink and a snack at the table with her.

I find if i sit at the table with her she eats more of her meal.

We eat together every breakfast and dinner time. Lunch can be a bit more haphazard - ds1 (3) in the living room watching telly and dp and I eating on the run and feeding ds2.

At tea time we feed ds2 (10 months) his main course first at about 5.30pm and then we all sit down to eat at 6pm by which time ds2 is nice and calm ('cos he's full) and onto his pudding, so it's easier to feed him and us at the same time!

We do, though it took some changes in DH schedule (he arrives earlier in the condition that he can make up for the time after DS goes to sleep. We do it for three reasons:

1. It is the only time where everybody can catch up with what the rest is doing (DS is only 2, but it worked that way in our respective families)

2. Because DS is a very fussy eater and we thought that if we ate together there were more chances of him trying to imitate us and eating all his food. Sloelwy, but seems to be working.

3. Because I hate not being able to go to a restaurant without a toddler screaming like crazy when you tell him he is not allowed to leave the table. Since we sat the rule at home we had some heavy tantrums but admitedly, eating out is becoming even enjoyable.

don't think whether or not you eat at the table has anything to do with whether you have a "fussy" eater. With toddlers/children
eating is like sleeping, there is a lot you can do to influence, guide and improve habits but essentially is largely luck if you have a 'good' sleeper or 'good' eater IMO. not down to superior parenting skills

I have to agree with nasa! I have a 2.4 year old dd who is about the fussiest, tiniest eater in the book. Although her manners are ok . We almost always all sit down for breakfast together, at lunchtime she's either with dp or I at the table and 3 nights a week we all have dinner together, the others it's just me and her. But she barely eats anything. She's happy to sit down with me and chat or look at a toy until I tell her to get down etc.

On the other hand ... when / if I've ever given her her food on her own and sat her in a chair and table by the t.v. she'll eat about twice as much as when she sits with us.

So, my little darling kind of scuppers the theory a bit I'm afraid.

Just to give the opposite POV. No, we don't eat togetherunless we're at a restaurantand even though I grew up eating at the table with the nuclear family, I can't say it's something i care very much about. My kids eat at 5.30. Dh and I eat at around 9 when dh returns from work. It works for us. And I don't mind if we never do the eat-as-a-family thing.

My kids eat a varied diet, similar in nature to what dh and I eat, so I'm not sure I agree that there's a connection between faddish eating and solo eating.

".....so I'm not sure I agree that there's a connection between faddish eating and solo eating."

I agree - DD2 has always been the pickiest, most fussiest eater I have ever known - and we eat at the table together!

We've always eaten at the table - either as a family, or if DH is late, then I'll eat with the kids and he'll eat later (can't wait for DH to get in - I get too hungry and will start nibbling the biscuits

Mummylonglegs

Thank you, we do sit down when we can, but only at W/Ends other wise I would have the HV around here checking DS for malnutrition.

DH came home early on Wednesday and we had Chorizo and Chick Peas in cider and garlic. Now, I struggled to get him to eat a tablespoon of it at the table, give him the same meal in front of the TV at his own table and chair and woofs it down and comes back for more. So I guess it is a trade off, like most of childcare.

LGJ, what a relief! Dp is so against t.v. in general and so won't let dd eat with t.v. on in the hope that she'll learn to enjoy sitting down to eat. Sometimes I think I'm banging my head against a brick wall though. She eats so little and her nutrition seems to be more valuable than her table skills at her age! I shall report back to dp tonight.

Agree that there's no connection. We have always eaten together at the kitchen table as much as possible (currently 5 nights a week and all weekend meals including sit down breakfasts together). DS1 (5) is and always has been a dreadfully fussy eater but DD (3) and DS2 (16 months) are amazingly good. I have literally not found a single dish they won't eat from stir fry to curry to salads. The only item DD has every removed from her mouth telling me she didn't like was an ornamental sage leaf!.

DS1 had great trouble breastfeeding and was always underweight as a baby and I have often wondered if there is some connection between that and his attitude to food.

Bells2

Funny you should say that re: breastfeeding. DD2 was exactly the same - fussy at the breast, was underweight as a baby (even though nearly 9lb at birth). When I moved her onto bottles, she was still the same and NEVER EVER finished a complete bottle.

Went downhill even further when I started weaning....

We are only all together at dinner time (evening) but we all sit together - TV off most definetly - I think it is really good to have this quality time together, we get to hear all the kids news and just have a general chit chat. The children also lay the table - I have been in many houses where this not as important to other families but it is extremely important to us.

we all eat together - I used to do differently but got cheesed off with cooking different meals and wondered if it was feeding the faddiness So about 2 years ago decided wed all eat the same,sometimes a ds will only have rice if its a curry but gradually improving. it is a monkeys teaparty and hard work but definite payoffs - they surprise you somwtimes by wolfing down a meal at least 2 have said they hate before and we all have a nice chat by the way ds1 is 8, ds2 is 6 and dd is 3 - almost impossible with 2 under 3 or so though I found

One of the key problems I find is that as dd's such a small eater (and rather a small child) she just gets very bored at the table. She tends to eat what she's going to in a very short time and I just get indigestion if I insist she stays there until I've finished! Whereas with the t.v. on she'll at least stay put and even eat a bit more than at the table. Having said that I still do sit at the table way more than in front of the t.v. but I sometimes feel like I'm wasting my time! When she's older I'm hoping it'll start paying off.

At w/e and non nursery days we all eat together - well dh and I eat and dd plays musical chairs and faffs about in general - and I get stressed!

Children always eat at table - with us if DP is home (or with me if i'm not eating with him later). Try to feed us all the same thing, but don't give them things i know they dislike e.g. chicken curry! Read somewhere that it takes 10 "trys" before they like something new, so i ask them to try new things but do not say they must eat it. They are not too fussy, although still can change from day to day. (Have 3 DDs - 3,5,7). Think being used to eating at the table means they concentrate on their meals better & learn table manners. Do not have in room.