My mental load saving "what's for supper" hack

[WhoPutThatThere]

So at risk of stating the obvious and being told everyone does this already, I’ve had enough conversations with friends recently to think they don’t so I am sharing my greatest time saving system that solves the constant and annoying “what’s for supper”* question (drives me nuts) and also saves time, money and reduces the mental load.

It’s not rocket science, basically a pre-planned rotating menu that everyone agrees to in advance Most things on it take about 20 mins to cook, and as we’ve been doing this for several years my teens can now make at least 70% of what’s on there.

1. Sit down with your family and make a list of everything everyone will eat. This bit is really important because it means it’s not just on you but more importantly further on down the line no one can object to anything on because they’ve all agreed to everything in advance. “I don’t feel like it” isn’t a valid reason.
2. Group by type eg beef, pork, chicken, veggie, cheap, shit (we’re all allowed to eat crap sometimes and planning it in means it actually happens less often) then, depending how many things you have on your list, plan out a 3-4 week menu. This means you don’t end up eating the same king of thing three nights in a row, you can plan for leftovers (eg roast on a Sunday, baked potatoes and leftover meat on a Monday) or evenings when kids have clubs. Eg my daughter has scouts on a tuesday so we need something fast and flexible.
3. Stick it on the fridge so everyone can see it. This means when you’re having lunch and one of your children says “what’s for supper?” you can just point at the list.

Picture of my list on the fridge attached

FAQ’s
You don’t have to blindly stick to the list all the time. The other things at the bottom of my list are ideas for when we collectively agree we want something else or I’ve ballsed up the shopping or something
If you like to experiment leave Saturdays (for example) blank and that’s your day to try something new.
Anything counts - Baked potatoes, Sandwiches, Scrambled eggs, Baked beans, Ramen… keep it simple.
Shopping is SO much easier. Just look at what’s coming up in the week ahead and you know exactly what to buy. Also means less wastage.
I batch cook things like bolognese and meatballs.
I make most things from scratch - cheaper and better
My menu doesn’t specify veg but we have veg/salad with pretty much every meal
I probably revisit this once every six months
Yes, it can get a bit (very) boring sometimes but the energy and mental load is saves is massive and totally worth it

*supper/dinner/tea. Whatever. Who give a shit what you call it.

I think a lot of people do this.

I’m solely in charge of shopping and cooking in my house. I do it differently. I buy what’s in season or looks good or is on offer etc and cook that. I group by portions of carb, protein, vegetables with an eye on anima fats and fiber (cholesterol) and sugar (diabetes). I cook Indian, Thai, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Italian, random diner, sandwiches, salads, etc. I have zero wastage.

Other than allergies no food is off the menu and I don’t accept whining or moaning: eat it, don’t eat it, your choice. There’s nothing else. Nobody does moan, although some meals go down better with some than others.

It gets repetitive though. I tried that years ago with my older DC. They soon got fed up.

Love this. Im also in charge of all the food shops and meal planning/cooking, had never thought to make it this far in advance but will definitely consider it now!
Do you just do a weekly shop based on the upcoming meal plan? How much time do you spend cooking?

Good for you if DC can cook well and do so often: my dream! Working on it.

That just looks like a standard meal planning system to provide nice food, driven by the main cook, organiser and shopper.

We would fall at the first hurdle of 'agree on things that everyone will eat' that is not a thing in my house (sad face).

This is great! But the best part about it is the fact you serve the quintessential Mumsnet dish ‘Balonz rice’

I thought the same!

Is it meant to be bacon and rice OP? If so, I would love to know if it is actually just bacon and rice or some type of special fried rice style dish with lots of other ingredients.

We do this but only for a week at a time. I do quite like the idea of deciding 3 weeks in advance even though you only shop for one week. We hardly ever get ds to cook. I don't know why really - he's fine at it on the rare occasions he does, and he'd willingly do it if asked. He's very slow at it though, and we don't want to be eating at 9pm! He's 18 and off to uni in autumn. Dd is away on her uni year abroad but has massively got into cooking this year, having been very reluctant before, so she can definitely do some in the holidays!

Balonz rice has been a lifesaver fir us when we need a quick meal, don't know what we did before it.

I’m just here to say I enjoyed your Twatt magnet.

What’s balonz rice? I like the sound of it.

But of course. Up there with spag bowl (as my DD calls it).

My kids are forever telling me I have crap handwriting, now they have ammo.

Sorry to disappoint, but it is nothing more imaginative than streaky bacon cut up and cooked with garlic, and then stirred through cooked rice, and served with a big bowl of chopped tomatoes. That said, it's actually bloody delicious.

Balonz rice does make it sound like something more interesting!

ha ha, thanks. who doesn't like a bit of swearing on their fridge?
I also have this on it

Yeah we did this sort of thing for a while until everybody got totally bored with it. Moved onto Gousto and we all much preferred that.

Mine have left home now so there’s only me and DP here. We like not cooking at all any more - Charlie Bigham or M&S ready meals all the way.

I go a step further and we have the same set menu every week 🤣. This suits me fine. Do my family moan? They have done sometimes over the years but less so now the children are adults and have experienced cooking for themselves at uni. I’ve always said they are welcome to mix it up if they get the ingredients and cook for everyone (not just themselves) but this never happens! Over the years the set menu has changed a bit but it stays constant for weeks on end.

When they were little it worked really well as they knew what to expect on each night so no surprises.

I am a source of amusement to people at my work when we get into conversations about it. The funny thing is that most of them admit to having the same meals on rotation but not on the same day each week. I say why not go one step further and take that part of the decision away!

We have very little food waste and I batch cook a lot. One night a week they all sort themselves out because I am out but other than that we eat the set menu.

This is part of the reason I did started this in the first place about 6 our 7 years ago. My DD was such a picky eater that it made mealtimes a bit of a mare (I refuse to make multiple things for different people) It meant our first version of this was super basic and even more repetitive but spending a couple of hours talking through everything she/DS might possibly eat and coming up with ideas meant I then didn't have to do it every single bloody day!

Yes, one shop a week, and it takes me under an hour door to door because I can practically pick up what I need on autopilot now. The weekday stuff is chosen to either take under 20mins to cook, which is why balonz rice is nothing more complicated than just rice with bacon, or be a kind of shove in the oven traybake thing. If I’ve got home from work on the later side (like after 7pm) I don’t want to be fart arsing around with complicated things that take ages. I’m happier to spend a bit longer cooking at the weekends though.

This is the kind of thing I always start with the best intentions... then abandon after a couple of days.

For me, not fancying something is absolutely a good enough reason not to have it. I would be miserable forcing myself to eat a meal I didn't want just because it was on the schedule!

Luckily my kids and husband aren't as grumpy as me when it comes to what they want to eat (yet, at least...they are young so there's still plenty of time).

MiL has been doing this for 50 years, but with a 1 week menu.
Sunday - roast
Monday - cold meat & jacket spuds
Tuesday - Cheese pie (Homity pie) or quiche
Wednesday - Shepherd’s Pie /chicken pie (depending on the meat they had on Sunday)
Thursday - sausage & mash
Friday - Fish/fish fingers, spuds, veg
Saturday - Egg & chips

Exceptions only for Christmas Dinner, and awkward veggie DiL (me!).

Rice is pudding.
Pasta is foreign.
Pizza is an expensive open sandwich. They don’t do expensive or foreign.

Same. The list would be pizza / tacos / chilli. We often cook separate meals, the result is that the DCs are pretty good cooks now.

That’s very 1970s!

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads your MIL must have been a forerunner of the MN chicken that lasts all week!

I'm the issue in our house - I have the lowest boredom threshold (diagnosed ADHD). It just makes me feel sad to know what I'm eating on Thursday. Equally with Gousto etc, I might fancy sea bass but not what it comes with. Far too restrictive. I appreciate I'm costing us money and me time. I'd love to be happy to do this as it's so sensible.

I do like Ibiza's mil's menu tbh, as it massively reduces the mental load.