Worst cook in the world

[Jujujudo]

I’m a grown up. 51 years old, two boys. I own a fresh produce business (mainly seasonal locally grown fruit and veg). I also have access to the best quality food you can buy: olive oil, raw tachini, etc through the business.
I have been cooking from scratch since we got married, mainly because it was cheaper and easier than the other options. My husband is from the Middle East and is very used to well seasoned and delicious food.
But no matter what I make, it tastes like crap. My kids call my cooking “grey”. I follow recipes and use fresh ingredients. I’m creative, a fast learner, I put love into it. But nothing comes out good.
I’ve now got a 16 year old who is always hungry and would rather go without than eat my food (I suggested he learn how to cook - still waiting), and a 9 year old Coeliac which makes everything more complicated.
It’s not inedible, it’s just not good.
Any advice?

Get your husband and 16 year old to cook more.

What do you think about your own food? I can't believe that you follow a recipe and every time it turns out to be rubbish.

Yep. I don’t do anything different- still comes out boring

I very much doubt you’re the worst cook in the entire world!

Have you read Salt Fat Acid Heat? It breaks down some of the science behind cooking, and how those four elements interact to produce good food.

What are you making op? Can you give us an example of a dish you make?

The answer is usually add (a bit) more salt, more butter, more spices. But seriously what have you cooked? Can you link a recipe and say how it turned out? Do you read reviews of recipes because sometimes a tweak is needed.

Thank you for replying. So for example: chicken soup.. I use MIL’s recipe because everyone likes grandmas soup. I use the exact spices she does (salt, cumin, hawaije, fresh coriander) and it comes out tasting like dish water until I add powdered stock which kind of ruins the concept!
I make a lot of chicken with rice.. again, I cook the rice as I should but it lacks taste, I throw away tons of cooked rice every week.
Eggs I can just about get away with - I can make a good salad although the dressing is somehow not quite right. I either over salt or don’t use enough. I can’t understand how people just chuck stuff in a pot and then delicious food comes out!

I wouldn't ever make a soup without stock, sure I'll get flamed for that here. Rice, are you seasoning it enough? It needs a lot of salt than you'd think in my opinion. I also tend to cook it in stock and add lots of garlic, turmeric, bay leaves etc and will sometimes dress it with things like lemon juice, fresh herbs. And if all else fails, bitter or sesame oil will always make it tasty.

When you say everything comes out grey, are you browning off ingredients properly? The Maillard reaction is very important for developing flavours. Possibly overcrowding the pan? I also almost always marinate my meats before cooking.

I am probably the worst person to ask though as I use things like MSG, maggi etc which are very unmumsnetty so feel free to ignore me 😅.

I'm struggling to understand how you can use lovely fresh ingredients and not make a nice meal.

Can you post a recipe and how you cook it and maybe we can give you some pointers.

Do you taste as you cook? I think people who are generally good cooks don't follow recipes to the letter

Sorry OP - I’ve never actually heard of this happening to anyone. Bizarre that you can follow a recipe to the letter and it comes out bland…

The only tips I can offer are -
Taste as you cook and adjust
Add more salt and keep trying it until it zings
Balance sweet, salt and acid for more complex flavours
Make sure you caramelise things to add depth
Toast your spices first to bring out flavour
Add salt, stock powder, bay leaves to your rice before cooking it

But really are you sure it’s not your pans or something adding a weird flavour? I cannot see how food with spices and seasonings tastes ‘Grey’.

Do you overcook everything?

Part of it could be more salt and oil than you think is needed. People always talk about 'not cooking with salt' as if it's a good thing, but it's needed for flavour and even what seems like a lot will be less than in processed food.

But definitely get older DC and DH to cook especially if they're unsatisfied with what you make. It's not all on you and perhaps when they realise how much effort it takes they will be more appreciative of your cooking.

Hmm, I feel like this about food that’s undercooked - not raw or dangerous but just not browned enough, not simmered long enough, chunks of onion still a little crunchy. Do you feel like you take the minimum time to do everything or want it done quickly? Everyone likes my chilli and stews better than DP’s even though they’re basically the same. The difference is I season more and I leave stuff to cook much longer.

Chicken soup without stock might be where you are going wrong. If you roast a chicken (can't go wrong) make stock from the bones or even just use the juices that come off it. Plus a stock cube too.

Rice...try and use a stock cube in that if you don't like the rice you cook. You could roast a chicken over the rice (rice in your oven dish, bit of white wine and stock, chicken on top) then the rice can't fail to have flavour.

Meat has to be browned properly to get flavour and make sure you have cuts that contain fat as the fat in a steak for example is where most of the flavour is.

I add lemon juice to pretty much anything as it lightens things up. Eg a curry is lovely if you add lemon juice.

Chilli flakes and salt. Salt is really important. Add crushed garlic to things but cook gently.

Dressing...the secret I think is the right vinegar. White wine vinegar or white balsamic. Just do oil, lemon juice, vinegar, garlic clove, salt, pepper pinch of Oregano. Shake it up in a jam jar.

Go on a cooking course or pay someone to come into your kitchen and show you. I’m a better cook than my husband as I know what properly browned meat looks and feels like, I’ve got the patience to let things bubble and reduce to concentrate flavour or I’ll add a bit of sugar or vinegar if that’s needed to balance flavours. He’s a perfectly good cook but hasn’t got that extra feel for it. What it costs you’ll save I. Uneaten or binned food.

Also "grey" definitely suggests to me you may not be browning meat enough. Delia always says brown more than you think for flavour!

Don't worry OP. Cooking has to be learned by trial and error for most people. Maybe see if you can find cooks on Instagram to follow that give ideas and show you how to cook things! I like Natalie Chassay on insta as she's obsessed with sweet salt heat acid. And uses lemon olive oil, salt and parmesan in a lot of her salads and they are delish.

Which recipes are you following? Can you show links?

hiw do you cook rice?

Are you following actual recipes? Or for instance with the soup, is your MIL saying "I use xy and z, " without explicit step by step instructions? Also she may well use stock and not mention it either to preserve the mystery or her reputation as a naturally good cook, or because she's assuming it! Agree with other posters - post a recipe and explain how it turned out! Usually when a recipe doesn't turn out well for me, it's because I've not followed instructions - skipped a step, added something in the wrong order, or used an unsuitable pan.

this is a great way of cooking rice - 4 minutes in the lady starts cooking the rice, you could obviously try the chicken dish - but the rice with other dishes is delicious. I use butter and make sure not to stir the rice more than once to mix the spices into the rice.

Possibly outing myself as another terrible cook here but...how much flavour are you expecting rice to have? I usually cook it as an accompaniment to something and it's fine just boiled/steamed. Sometimes I might add salt and admittedly it's a bit nicer. If I'm feeling really fancy and have time I might start with a garlic and onion base and use a stock cube in the water. But generally plain rice is fine for day to day. And it would have to have gone disastrously wrong for me to throw it out rather than put up with it for one meal!

OP, if your DH is from the Middle East, may I recommend Sabrina Ghayour? Her recipes are delicious and you just have to follow them. Definitely not beige!

As for tasteless rice, Delia’s pilau rice is infallible - method here - https://www.deliaonline.com/how-to-cook/rice-and-pasta/how-to-cook-pilau-rice

Quantities are: white basmati rice measured up to the 10fl oz / 275 ml level in a measuring jug
Boiling water measured to the 1 pt /570ml level in the same jug
1 tablespoon light coloured oil
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 cardamom pods, crushed. ( I always use about 5 because DH likes cardomom)
1 teaspoon cumin seeds, crushed
1/2 teaspoon coriander seeds, crushed
1 inch cinnamon stick (I use about half a stick)
1 bayleaf
a sprinkling of salt

So I used to use receive books - I liked Gordon Ramsey but it ended up taking too long to make anything.. now I tend to see what fresh stuff I have at home and search online for a recipe. I can’t ever just “make something”, which I would love to be able to do: like fry some chicken strips in spices with rice. But when I do that they say it doesn’t taste good. I mix paprika, salt, etc with olive oil, I make rice the way everyone does, oil, water, salt..
I tried making a roast dinner but the meat was “too chewy” and the potatoes weren’t crispy.
I’ve bought new cast iron pots and pans and they’re brilliant, I use fresh ingredients.
I use BBC good food recipes a lot, I don’t get along with American recipes as everything I made turned out too sweet.
Argghh, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!

Aha, searching random recipes online might not be helping. they can be very hit and miss. Maybe you could find a quick-n-easy cookbook?

Maybe you need to master one dish at a time. Do you have a friend who makes delicious rice? Ask them to show you step by step. Take notes or even film it! Then practise it until you’re happy with it.

Or, meal kit boxes. They walk you though things step by step and send just the right amount of spices.

Seconding the above, I don't think I'd ever have learned to cook without Gousto! Not a promo, but I moved out with zero cooking experience and now I'm pretty confident and happier to improvise (though I still follow recipes 90% of the time!)