food ideas please 19 month old

[MySereneGreyBear]

Hi everyone, I'm going through the independence stage and I'm struggling to feed my son proper meals, he would eat cottage pie, fish pie, lasagne etc. he won't let me spoon feed and isn't able to use cutlery himself properly so I feel I need ideas for less messy finger foods as he also hates having messy hands! The only thing Im allowed to feed him is his breakfast, weetabix or porridge with fruit.

He will eat, veg, fruit, crackers, toast, sometimes a peanut butter and jam sandwhich, the odd chicken nugget, fish finger and I do make bean/cheese pancakes, cheese cubes, pasta pieces if pretty much plain! Just any tea time ideas would be appreciated

I just give mine what we are eating. Give cutlery, youngest tries to use it but can't always do it, I just keep wipes at the ready :)

Components of roast dinner are easy finger food. My dd used to love chomping on a Yorkshire pudding and loved toad in the hole.
mini frittatas in a muffin tin
pitta or naan pizzas
this noodle recipe was (and still is) a big hit with my dc and isn’t messy https://www.myfussyeater.com/sesame-honey-chicken-noodles/
Falafel https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/recipes-and-meal-ideas/falafel/ - DH and I enjoyed this for dinner too, with couscous or salad in a wrap
Salmon fishcakes https://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/fish/salmon-fishcakes/

He can’t feed himself because you aren’t giving uk the opportunity, I haven’t spoon fed my 18 month old in 3 or 4 months!
Whats wrong with just giving him the cottage Poe and a spoon?? He will soon pick it up.
At 18 months I don’t think about anything in terms of what “can” he eat, I just give him anything we would eat and offer it in basically the same way, perhaps pre cut.

Don’t they make special curved spoons these days that make it easier for them to feed themselves? He won’t learn if you keep doing it for him.

Just checking you are eating at the same time as him at least once a day? Does he see you using a spoon regularly yourself? I'm asking because if given a good example to watch I would think most (not all) 19 month olds would be able to use a spoon, if badly!
Good spoon foods to start with are sticky things like mash, as some will generally stick to the spoon regardless of which way up it goes. Add things to the mash like cheese, small chopped veg, meat, anything really.

But as to your question, I echo pp - we just cooled a bit of whatever we were having for dinner. Saves so much time and gets your child eating your diet which is what you want long term. But if you can't do that for some reason, here are my finger food ideas:
Pizza (can make on a wrap/naan if quicker)
Pasta shapes with broccoli and fried halloumi
Roast root veg and sausages (can roast altogether in one tray)
Fritter fingers (pretty much any leftovers, stick together with egg and flour and fried)
Fish fillet/chicken with veg and wee potatoes

Hi everyone, yes I do eat Infront of him not always with a spoon though. I have also left him with a spoon/fork but he won't eat if I just leave him with it, hence the suggestions for something he will eat that's easier for him to just pick up. Id rather him eat something than nothing but I would normally leave something on a plate that would require a spoon. I probably have spoon fed for too long out of worry that he won't eat enough. Maybe I need to just relax and hope for the best. I'm worried because he won't drink milk either now at all only in cereal or yoghurt (which I have to feed or he wouldn't attempt it)

Also he can't not use a spoon at all but can't use it enough to adequately feed himself. It sounds like a lot at this age are using one properly and eating a full meal. He seems to prefer his hands even if I put cutlery down he wants to use his hands. Although, with every new skill he's done he seems to just randomly do it perfectly one day. We have directed his hands to the food and to mouth and he will attempt it but then uses hands.

What you are already feeding him is a great list. Maybe chipolata sausages. Peel the skin off first to avoid choking hazard. He can still pick up the pieces and not get too messy.

Fingers of toast or flatbread to dip into humous or home made avocado dip.
Fingers of naan to dip into very mild curry sauce or dahl.
Fish fingers.
Mini pizzas or pizza squares.
Sweet potato fries
Lutkes. ( Grated onion and potato fried gently then beaten egg added and cooked in small batches to create mini omelette patties.)

Mine ate what we ate when they were showing real interest. They were slow to shift to adult food. As long as they're getting the nutrients and socialising at table with you during meal times it's fine.

@Cinaferna

Thanks, I feel like I'm trying my best to do what I can to get what he needs in. It doesn't help when people try and make it look like it's all your fault why he doesn't want to use cutlery. I've just made a small bowl of pasta with sweet potato & tomato sauce he ate half used the fork a couple of times then used hands. It looks like he's not got wrist motion yet tbh when I was watching him

it sounds as if it might be worth thinking up some playtime activities to improve hand/eye coordination and wrist/hand control.

Do you/could you have a small sandpit to get him to help you make sandcastles? Start with a bucket and introduce an old spoon/kiddie gardening tools and yoghurt pots.

Get some playdough (or get a recipe online) and start by making snakes, maybe try rolling out pieces to (knife) cut when more proficient (and carefully supervised).

if you have a garden, get him to help with a mini watering can (or have toys for water play in the bath).

Good luck

Honestly, it's fine. DS2 had ARFID, so bad he almost starved himself. I was fixated on feeding. With hindsight I realise there are loads of things that didn't matter at all, that I worried about, and things I put an almost insane amount of effort into which did matter.

FWIW: I realised it doesn't matter at all what he eats, as long as he is eating a healthy diet. What you describe him eating is really brilliant. He's not even two, and he is eating all of the food groups, with quite a variety of textures.

It matters that mealtimes are happy and relaxed. You want him to associate food with pleasurable, social times. If he sits in a high chair chewing a rusk while you it prawn masala, it really doesn't matter. You are eating together as a family.

Give him autonomy (which you are already doing so ignore anyone who tells you he 'ought' to be doing XYZ by now.) Children develop at different stages and others tend to focus on what they are not doing, not what they are doing. He'll pick up cutlery when he is ready. We found that taking DC out to cafes or family friendly restaurants had a big impact, as does school. Seeing what everyone else is doing really spurs them on to do the same.

I read your posts and see you noticing all the things you think should be different, but listing loads of things you and he are doing that are really completely on track, but sort of missing how good this is.

He eats fruit, veg, chicken, fish, cheese, pasta, bread, peanut butter. That is a really good range of foods that will completely fulfil his nutritional requirements. You could try adding some tiny rice balls bound together with egg or cheese and rolled in bread crumbs and fried, just to introduce rice. Or rice pudding. You could introduce potato and sweet potato wedges, if he doesn't already eat these, to add some carb variety. But he's already eating meat, fish, dairy, carbs, fruit and veg, and he's not yet two. You're doing a great job. So is he.

@Cinaferna I am definitely getting myself stressed & fixating on it and in hindsight he isnt starving himself and I do think he is going through an independence phase now so everything seems tougher. Admittedly, we don't always eat together when we should do so Im going to make an effort I think and try my best to modify the things we eat in a way he can eat it with us, as the spoon doesn't work anymore for things like cottage pie, fish pie, spaghetti etc. he just needs things he can pick up. I do think he will grasp the spoon and form when he wants to, he is very stubborn like his mum & dad 😂.

Funnily enough, I was thinking about getting a rice ball mould, he has eaten rice before but won't physically touch with his hands and won't let us spoon feed it him now so it could be a good way of getting him to eat it again and sweet potato he does like wedges, he is pretty good with what he eats it's getting it into him that's the issue now 😬.

Thanks for making me feel abit better about it all though!

@NebulousDog yeah, we do have a sand/water table so he does dig but hasn't made castles yet. I'll have to try and get them doing them a bit more, he does like drawing scribbles though. Hopefully it'll just come when the times right and I just need to stop fixating on it.