Another fuusy eater/mother at end of tether type thread....

[flirtygerty]

Have posted several times in the past about my 22m old who basicaly refuses any meat/chioken/pasta/veg no matter how presented. I decided to go hard ball & not offer her any dessert unless she had at least 3 or 4 spoons of her savoury food (- she has a very sweet tooth & would live on the stuff.)

we have just had our 4th evening meal where she's refused point blank to touch it. I just got her down from the table then she screaned for 40minutes but wouldn't eat it. She didn't get any dessert.

I feel so guilty. If this is just a battle of wills how long do I let it go on for? Will I ever win it? If not what do I do?

I don't know what you've already tried, so bare with me if I mention stuff that you've already done or doesn't work:

Cut out all snacks between lunch and her evening meal. If she's getting hungry bring the evening meal forward for her.

Only put a small amount of stuff on her plate.

Scrap puddings completely for a few weeks, if she's filling up on that she's not learning that by not eating her evening meal she will go hungry.

Offer her the food, but if she doesn't eat it don't comment on it at all, but instead of taking the plate away, give her the control, tell her when she's had all she wants she has to put her plate by the sink/in the kitchen so you know she's had enough. This may stop the screaming when you take the plate away.

Persevere, if you don't react, there is no battle to fight and she'll soon give up.

She won't starve herself. Children need about 15 exposures to food before they accept it though, on average.

Get her involved. Do things like wraps, with lots of fillings for her to help herself to, pizzas, where she puts the toppings on, or even just get her stiring the sauce or weighing out the pasta. If she's involved in the cooking of the food she may be more willing to try some of it.

Give her some choice: ask do you want carrots or broccoli? Pasta or spaghetti? Again, if she feels she had some input into it she may be more willing to try a bit, and this could increase slowly to eating lots of it.

Bear in mind, also, that some people's taste buds are simply much more sensitive, my brother was a notoriously picky eater, only ate plain rice or pasta for about ten years. It turns out he has highly sensitive taste buds and kinesthesia, so lots of food had aunappetising colours associated with it.

Also, DS wasn't interested in any sort of animal or fish to eat until the age of 4.5 so don't worry too much about that if you can get her a balanced diet from other food.

What does she eat?

Thanks OMDB. As she has no speech ( just screeeches - don't think she is SN as comprehension Ok but can not respond to choices even by pointing!) she used to eat all this stuff but had just gradually refused to eat it to the point where she just looks at it then refuses to touch it.

perhaps you are right I just need to persevere in not reacting. As my son eats for England it is so hard NOT to wonder what has gone wrong this time!!

likes = weetabix, fruit, toast, cheese, scrambled egg, fish fingers, custard. (not my lovingly created home made ones though)

I've tried changing the form of them - ie omlette instead of scramble, aple crumble with custard - not well received needless to say.

I comp;etely sympathise as my 2 1/2 yr old is exactly the same. He started off well and ate shepherds pie etc. but couldn't eat dairy and egg as he was allergic.

Then at about 18 mths he stopped eating what i would call proper meals. He still exists on baked beans, ham, bread, cheese (he has outgrown the dairy allergy but not yet egg)dried cheerios and lots of fruit, oh and much to my disgust the frozen smiley faces! He is not a big fan of breakfast and if it weren't for the fruit I would really be quite worried. Really annoyingly he loves helping me to cook, putting potatos, carrots etc. in saucepans, but just won't eat it!

Dieticians we have seen for his allergies just advise us not to make an issue out of it and not to worry. Interestingly they told me not to use dessert as a bargaining tool and always offer it. In addition to the points already mentioned they have also told me:

• trying messy play with food at least once a week.
• it can take up to 17 times of tasting a food for children to eat it (helps if they are willing to at least try it - we are working on that one still!)

I'm just about to start weaning my second so fingers crossed he won't be as bad.

If it is any more reassuring I was really fussy as a child only eating a couple of vegetables, no salad, eggs, pasta etc. and now I eat all those things and more so even I grew out of it, albeit in my twenties!