Help! Struggling with feeding my 10 month old.. ideas please!

[Mousey101]

Hi everyone,

I need some help! I really feel like I’m failing and that I’m such a bad mother - but I’m really struggling with feeding my 10 month old. Doing the puree thing was easy - as you just blended it and gave it on a spoon! But I’m now doing mostly baby led weaning - my son is really independent and now only wants to feed himself.

He is really fussy and the amount of times I’ve spent ages cooking something only for him to reject, and resorting to avocado on toast as I know it’s his favourite.

Im not a very good cook, I hate it. My husband does all the cooking but I have to do all the baby stuff as he’s at work most of the time.

I’ve tried following the books and finding stuff online but I really struggle and it takes forever! My baby is full on and really demanding and I hardly have time to do anything let alone make him a pie or bolognaise.

he has a few favourites that I have on repeat but I feel so guilty that he has pasta most days. But he loves it as he can pick it up and feed himself.

for breakfast I always make him pancakes that he can self feed. Then other things on rotation- avocado toast. Peanut butter toast. Pasta - with different sauces. Cubes of cheese. Loads of fruit as I know he’ll eat. He likes sausages and meatballs, doesn’t seem to like fish or chicken but occasionally will eat it. But he’s just so fussy. But I’m worried that he’s becoming more fussy - as I’m not giving him variety. I spent ages making mozzarella and sweet potatoe balls for him which he didn’t eat a bite of. The food waste is ridiculous too!

I know everyone says feed him what I eat - but he wouldn’t eat a salad - or sometimes my dinner is a packet of crisps and 2 pieces of toast (please don’t judge me! I really hate cooking!)

i feel so guilty that he’s eating pasta so often (it’s always organic with vegetable sauces et ) and the lack of variety. He’s a really big and fat happy baby but I just have no idea of what else I can feed him.

does anyone have any quick and easy go - tos? Any tips for fussy eaters? I feel like I’m offering him like 3/4/5 different meals as I’m worried to leave him hungry as I’m so anxious about him being full enough to sleep through the night so I often fill him up with Greek yogurt which he loves! All his food is organic and I’m trying my best bit would love some advice / tips / recepies etc!

thank you so much ! Xxxx

Give him the same as you! Just be careful about adding salt.

My son is 11 months and these are some meal ideas that we all eat-

Noodle and veggie stir fry
Frittata/ quiche
Salmon/cod rice and veg
Omelette
Salmon or tofu "sushi bowl"
Egg fried rice with veggies
Mushroom and leek risotto (obviously made without wine😂)
Fish pie

Most days for lunch I either give him leftovers or avocado toast/ cottage cheese on toast or scrambled egg with some vegetables or fruit/ yoghurt.

Don't worry too much at this age though, they get most of their nutrients from milk. As long as you're offering them nutritious meals consistently they'll be fine and slowly start to eat more.

So which meals does your DH cook?
Can he not do extra portions for you to give DS for lunch then next day, or pop in the freezer for another time?

Are you needing to prepare all meals each day?

Give the main meal midday and then in the evening do things like sandwiches, omelette, cheese on toast, scrambled egg, beans on toast etc with veg sticks, fruit, yogurt etc.

He doesn't sound fussy OP, he's eating fruit veg meat pasta - all sounds good just keep doing that. Rather than doing a whole new meal to try just do something safe he will eat, like pasta and meatballs with a different veg if you want to try something new

Do you sit down as a family and eat together? I’d prioritize that. If your DH is home too late then you can sit with him to have a proper dinner. Think of things you both will like, spaghetti bolognese, sausage and mash, stir fries, curry and rice, mild chilli, fish pie, easy things like this they don’t have to be long or complicated meals.

My boys were both weirdly into fish at that age. Maybe because it's soft? DS1 loved mackrel in tomato sauce (the tinned sort) , brocolli and a jacket potato. DS2 loved cod in cheese sauce that I made, with peas and potatos. Sometimes for breakfast...

Agree with the suggestions above. Spagbol, bangers and mash, cottage pie, fish pie, lasagne, beef stew, roast chicken. Food they still love now. All foods that you can batch cook and leave the salt out of. I bought low salt stockcubes.

Edit. Sorry OP I just reread your post and he doesn't like fish. Maybe try the mackrel with tomato sauce as he might like that flavour and it also saves having to make it yourself.

I'm sorry that you're struggling. I wasn't a very good at cooking either when I had my first but he loved food so much, still does, that I had to learn, it was a steep learning curve too so you have my sympathy

First thing is, how much milk is he having?

If you are FFing the recommended amount between 10 and 12 months is 450 ml/13.5 floz.

If he's having much more than that then I'd cut out a bottle and see if that improves his appetite picks up.

The other thing I'd do is to stop offering any alternatives.

If he doesn't want to eat that's fine, like you've said he's a fat and happy lad, he's not going to suddenly starve because he's refused a certain food

If you're worried he won't eat you could always put something on the side you know he will eat like some grated cheese or some cut up cherry tomatoes.

I'm just going to post this and put sone food suggestions in another post as I've typed it all out once then lost my post!

Like others have said, I'd try eating with him if you don't already.

So for lunch you could have something like omelette strips. I was going to say a tuna sandwich with some cucumber sticks but I've just seen that he doesn't like fish (although I'd still offer it,it can take many times if offering before a baby will accept a food).

My DD liked "bits" for lunch at that age. So literally bits of whatever we had in, cucumber, hummus, tomorrow, bread sticks, cheese.

Does he like eggy bread too? That's a quick lunch and you can always put something in the side like berries or cut up cherry tomatoes.

How about Mex Chicken with Pitta Bread? That's quite simple to cook and you can both eat it together.

What does your DH cook? Can DS have leftovers sometimes for lunch or Dinner the next day?

Have a look at Taming Twins too. She has some really easy recipes and they are in categories like Air Fryer/Budget Eats and Slow Cooker.

Also - you say he doesn't like chicken.
He might not like eg chicken in a sauce, but he might like strips of roast chicken breast, or homemade chicken nuggets etc.
Similar with fish - there is a huge range of fish anyway so you could try salmon fishcakes ( cooked salmon mixed with mashed potato, made into patties and fried), or cod strips in breadcrumbs, or tuna sandwich or haddock in cheese sauce.

Some kids prefer things in sauces, or food mixed up together. Others will prefer dry pasta, plain meat and separate veg.

Just keep offering a variety - something they like as well as new things. Just small amounts so not much waste - they can always have more if they like it. The most important thing is don't stress and keep it fun.

That's all true. Both of mine loved salmon dipped in egg, then breadcrumbs then baked in the oven. DC2 especially wouldn't have touched salmon in a sauce.

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for all your help. The issue is… everyone - including all my weaning books - do say things like whip up a simple cottage pie / fish pie / bean chilly/ bolognase etc. but that’s just way out of my capability. I literally wouldn’t know where to start and it would give me a panic attack! But maybe - now that I’m a mother I guess I just need to sit down and try and figure it all out. I was a vegan for 10 years so I’ve never grown up eating those types of foods so wouldn’t need to know how to make them. We live in London so eat out often or Deliveroo. My husband does cook but often we just have a bone broth or something as I’m trying to loose the baby weight.

Another question, everyone suggests eating together. How does everyone manage this? I don’t eat breakfast - just a coffee and a banana then I eat lunch finally in peace once he’s down for his lunch time nap- then dinner around 8pm once my husband is back from work and baby is asleep. Our baby has tea at 4.45/5pm ? Do people usually eat dinner at this time? I would then be starving by bedtime and would end up reaching for snacks. Maybe when he’s older and has a later bed time it might work?

I think I just need to accept it’s hard and follow some receipes and try to figure it out! He will only feed himself though so struggles with things he can’t hold like rice / quinoa / but will definitely try some omelettes (not that I know how to make one but can give it a go or watch some YouTube) or a frittata I know my husband can make. We’ll muddle through. Thank you all so much, but god 3 meals a day is hard 😂😂😂

I used to eat breakfast and lunch with mine, but not the evening meal. They are earlier and I ate with my DH when he got home from work.
I suggest getting a very basic cook book, perhaps one for students like this one and starting from there
https://amzn.eu/d/6xfJzk3

OP mince dishes are really easy if you just follow a basic recipe. The beauty of them is that they are really forgiving and you can reheat them and make a big dish (eg cottage pie) and then you won't need to cook for a few days or you can freeze it. Spag bog is very good for that too as you can just heat up individual portions. So if I were you and hated cooking I would just master a couple of mince dishes. The main difference between cottage pie mince and spag bol mince is that you use a tin of tomatoes for the mince. Otherwise it's much the same recipe (with a few tweaks)..

Spag bol

Fry the mince until it's browned (I then take it out of the frying pan and set aside as mine isn't that large)
Fry diced onion, carrot and Celery. Add chopped garlic. Add a couple of tins of tomatoes, a squirm of tomato puree, some dried herbs like Oregano. Beef stockcube/knorr stock pot. Red wine (although maybe not for a baby). Bit of water if you think it needs it. Put the mince back in. Then put in the oven on a lowish heat for an hour or just simmer on the top for 20 mins. Voila

Get 10% fat mince instead of the really lean stuff..

You have to reorganize your day around family life to do it really. So breakfast together at the table, if you want coffee and a banana then fine, have that at the table with him. Lunch give him something quick before nap and you eat lunch during nap time and can also prep dinner. Is his bedtime around 7? Try pushing dinner a little later for him and eat with him. Plan the meals around what’s suitable for him and eat it with him, it’ll model good eating. If you want one night of something less suitable then eat later once a week without him.

For the actual recipes, start simple and make a big batch so you don’t have to cook from scratch every night. Spaghetti bolognese is an easy one to start with as it really is simple. An easy version is to brown pinions, garlic and little cut up pieces of carrot in a pan, add and brown mince, add a tin of chopped tomatoes and some tomatoes puree, add mixed herbs, an oxo cube and some paprika, stir and simmer. Add frozen peas halfway through if you want more veg in there. Then just add to cooked spaghetti or other pasta.

Nobody is born knowing how to cook. That's the whole point of recipe books...just follow the instructions.

Home made potato wedges are a hit with my 10 month old (either sweet potato or normal), along with a bit of broccoli he can pick up himself and any meat/fish he'll eat... I know you've said he doesn't eat chicken or fish but maybe keep trying with strips of cooked chicken, chunks of salmon etc. if you have an air fryer it's especially easy as you can just chop the potato into wedges, spray with some oil then cook in the airfryer along with whatever protein he likes.

Chicken coated in yoghurt, dried herbs and a bit of lemon juice then cut into strips, or a bit of paprika, tends to go down well with mine.

I think I read liars that how we ate had to change. I suspect that you might be the same?

Plus if you had more to eat earlier in the day you would t be starving in the evenings

Op over baby not being able to hold rice or quinoa if you cook rice so it is quite sticky it tends to clump together. My baby loves picking it off his high chair tray! Good for practicing pincer grip too. I suppose you could roll quinoa into balls, or spoonfeed it?
As well as learning to cook basic recipes there's plenty of things you can add to his tray that involve minimal prep:
Steamed or microwaved veggies.
Grated cheese / cut narrow pieces of cheese off the block.
Protein of choice prepared and cut into safe sizes ( i don't eat meat, my baby loves some pieces of fried tofu!)
Fish fingers- ok they're processed yes but the odd one won't hurt.
Egg cooked various ways.
Fruit cut into appropriate shapes and sizes.

Solid start website is amazing.

Wrt not knowing how to cook everyday meals - YouTube is your friend. When you have some time, just look up the dishes you'd like to learn.

Coffee and a banana is great for breakfast.

What does the baby have for lunch?
Could you eat with him?

8 is a bit late for you to be eating if you're trying to lose weight.

I'd shoot for dinner time for you and the baby at 5:30 - 6. You could still sit with your H while he's eating and maybe have a little snack at 8.

Suggestions for food for the baby:
Macaroni cheese with mashed broccoli mixed in.
Scrambled egg, or you can also beat an egg, add a dot of butter, add some grated cheese, and cook it in a bowl measuring about 4x4 on the bottom in the microwave for about a minute (check to see if done). Experiment with timing, starting with less time and working up. Eggs should be cooked through for a baby, no runny / gooey bits.
Eggy bread cut in cubes.
Mashed sweet potatoes with baked beans.
Mashed white potatoes with grated cheese and /or mashed peas mixed in.
Sardines mashed and spread on toast mixed with cream cheese/ Philadelphia cheese. Salmon (cooked) is nice this way too. Check for salmon bones.
Boiled diced carrots, peas, baby broccoli - this can be finger food or mashed together, maybe with a boiled parsnip to hold it all together.
Mashed boiled cauliflower with a little cheese sauce.
All of these are easy for a baby to eat with fingers or his own little spoon.

Some more suggestions -
Boil quinoa according to packet directions and beat two or three eggs. Chop/ mash cooked broccoli (or about half a cup of thawed frozen spinach), and grate some cheese or use ready-grated.

Mix quinoa with everything else and spoon the mixture into a greased muffin or cupcake pan, or you can use cupcake wrappers to save your pans. Don't fill the wrappers all the way to the top - 2/3 full is fine.

Bake in a medium oven for 15 mins or so. You can store these in the fridge for a few days.

You can use rice for this too. Diced ham is nice to add too if LO likes ham.

8 is a bit late for you to be eating if you're trying to lose weight

I have to agree on this one. You'd be be much better eating more in the mornings, not necessarily breakfast but maybe add in a decent mid-morning snack and bringing dinner forward. My DF did this, ate roughly the same food but lost quite a bit of weight

We almost always eat together:
breakfast at about 8
lunch around 12
dinner is around 5:30 - I plate up DHs portion if he’s late back from work

Some easy things to make if you hate cooking for baby:

• beans on toast with grated cheese
• cheese on toast with things like chopped avocado etc as sides
• pitta or wrap pizza - take a pitta or wrap, spread tomato puree on top, add any toppings you can find (I often do broccoli, sweetcorn, peppers etc), add grated cheese and stick in oven for about 10 mins
• quesadillas - a wrap with fillings fried for a couple of mins each side
• egg mayo wraps/sandwiches and sides
• microwave rice and some grilled chicken/fish fingers
• air fryer potato wedges
• microwave a sweet potato - add toppings like beans or mine likes tuna mayo sweetcorn

All great suggestions. My DC2 was also a big fan of sweet potato wedges inly I didn't have an air fryer back then

Also agree with watching YouTube for how to learn to cook. It's great because you can pause it