Extreme guest anxiety - please help

[MerrieFerry]

I have extreme anxiety about cooking for and serving people. I would love to be an amazing host but my anxiety about this takes over.

I have two sets of friends arriving this week and need to/want to provide food.

I need two dinners and a very welcoming lunch. Please could I have any ideas?

I say ideas, but really I mean explicit instructions, as I feel so sick I can't translate things like 'make a chilli' into something that is me actually serving people.

I'm imagining lunch as a picky bits situation, but grown up looking. How do I do this?

Only requirement is no fish

I think some kind of buffet (picky bits) for lunch is absolutely fine! Maybe some soup?

For dinners, can you look into prepping in advance by using a slow cooker?

If you need specific instructions, then you need to give us timings.

Ok, for the two dinners you just need two courses, just have crisps and dips as a starter and then do a make ahead pudding. i would also make dishes where the vast majority of prep is done beforehand. Such as beef bourginon (there’s an excellent Gordon Ramsey recipe online) with dauphinoise potatoes, green beans and french bread. The only thing that needs doing whilst guests are there is cooking the beans. For pudding I’d make a no bake cheesecake or banoffee pie and also have some strawberries/raspberries and cream with some meringues so there’s a choice without having to make two things! make sure the table is set in advance and serve everything family style so they can help themselves. Buy pretty napkins and put a couple of candles on the table.

Sorry that you feel so anxious, my anxiety goes through the roof about things sometimes, I’ve been where you are! Hope that this helps a little.

If that’s how you feel, why don’t you avoid it and just go out for meals? There’s plenty of restaurants. Why don’t you both just go out?

I wonder if you'd be better of buying a cookery book that takes your fancy when you browse a bookshop.
That way it gives you an opportunity to see how a dish looks visually and gives you step by step instructions for ingredients and method to produce and serve up .

Also this might seem a bit weird , but with the anxiety of it all , play a game with yourself pretending you are a famous ( and therefore , confident person ) maybe Nigella Lawson or Mary Berry , and you are doing a cookery show . Talk to a pretend audience / camera whilst you are preparing and cooking it.
As the saying goes "Fake it til you make it ! "

Goggle marry me chicken all prep in advance and keep warm.
Lemon posset is an easy dish with a bit of wow.
Canapés to start, mini mozerela, cherry tom and basil leaf. Crostini with ham lettuce and tomato/ or smoked salmon cream cheese with lemon.
Beef bourginon as above also great idea.
If buffet,make sure there is lots of colour as party food can be beige, add in salad garnish, chopped herbs etc.

Thank you so much for your tips so far. I'm chasing my little one around, but will come back at lunch time nap to reas properly.

Cool ready meals are excellent - all the cooking will be done for you.
Similarly pre prepared stuffed joints of meat from supermarket.
If you want to cook things from scratch try lasagne - can be prepped the night before. Ploughman's platter for the lunch. Steak and chips for the second night

For lunch - soup and rolls and cheese and grapes. Keep it all simple, In the evening put out dips and crisps and crudités while people have a drink before dinner. Then you only need a main course and a dessert. At this time of year you could serve mince pies, stollen and ice cream so you only need to make a main course. For the future, when I have visitors staying I cook the main meals in advance - vegetable lasagna, a casserole, stroganoff and freeze them. A friend swears by Mary Berry recipes which are often quick and simple.

Thank you for all the replies. Even just having some suggestions has made me feel better.

Anxiety is such a drain.

I would think about dishes that you already know how to make and are confident about. It doesn't need to be fancy. Maybe just add in a few extra's or sides. There's nothing wrong with a roast chicken, lasagne or sausage and mash. Your friends are coming to see you, not critique your cooking!

For lunch just get a few french sticks, nice cheeses, top a sheet of puff pastry with some tomato's and mozzarella, a bowl of coleslaw and a Waldorf salad.

For the lunch - either a couple of bought quiches with nice bread and salad; or soup, bread and cheese; or some jacket spuds with cheese, coleslaw, salad, maybe tuna if you like it; or posh sausage sarnies - cook a load of sausages/fry some onions/mustard/nice barbecue sauce/salad leaves in baguettes.

For dinners, I'd choose two things that you already do well and then dress them up a bit:
eg
olives/posh crisps and nuts / veggie lasagne and salad / ice cream or a bought lemon tart

bought bhajis and samosas / a veggie curry / microwave rice and bought naan / cucumber and onion salad

I don't eat meat but Jamie Oliver tends to have some really easy recipes for things like a simple beef stew - could cook in advance then warm up and serve with little roasted new potatoes and some streamed vege

What do you normally cook for yourself/your family? I’d do something you are used to cooking, or a slightly fancier version.

Bought ready made picky bits from a supermarket. Eg a sandwich platter, ready made party bits that you get this time of year in abundance. Even if the smallest they do is too large who cares,’at least the problem is taken care off.

Thanks for all the suggestions. It's really appreciated.

I've gone with quiche, soup, baked camembert, nice bread, olives. Will also attempt a hallomi and red onion pastry plait.

For dinner I'm going to make the Marry Me Chicken.

My other guest has said he would love for us to order in, so we can just spend the time together instead of worrying about food.

Now, hopefully I'll be able to relax enough to enjoy my time with them.

@MerrieFerry good luck! I feel similarly about hosting. I don't really enjoy it but don't want to not do it either.

@Whattodo121 do you have a link to the beef bourguinon please? I can see it's on bbc good food (but need a subscription to read the whole recipe) and there are a load of 'inspired by chef Ramsey' type ones but maybe I'm missing something. Maybe it's only on BBC good food.

Recipe it’s this one here-I can see it and I don’t have a subscription - if you just scroll down you should be able to see it?

It sounds like you’re feeling a bit better and your menu looks great - I’ve never made the Marry me chicken but have seen lots of versions of it hope it all goes well 😊

Thank you very much @Whattodo121

Find a ‘Cook’ stockist and get enough meals to cover their visit. They cook straight out of the freezer, so if you feel bad you can decant into one of your dishes and put into the oven, then it looks home cooked. I am a lousy cook and an anxious hostess - this has worked for me very well
https://www.cookfood.net

For another time: Nigella's Ham in Cola www.nigella.com/recipes/ham-in-coca-cola

Thanks for all the suggestions. I had a wonderful time with my friends and the food went down well.

The 'Marry Me Chicken' was delicious