How to break this annoying eating habit?

[igglepiggle599]

My DS is 2, has always been a 'good' eater in the sense that he eats fruit, veg, a good range of carbs, protein and dairy, etc. He's had fussy phases (eg. We've only just got him to eat meat on its own) but he'll try most things and apparently eats perfectly at nursery.

Recently he just won't really eat his dinners at dinnertime and lunchtime. We now have a slightly ridiculous ritual in place where he gradually eats his dinner later as he watches TV, sits on dad's lap and is handed small pieces of food one at a time whilst I hide upstairs. I usually end up just feeling relieved that he's eaten, but how do we stop this and get him to eat with everyone else?? He eats breakfast and snacks really well and I know loads of parents of toddlers have it much worse but I'm just getting paranoid that it might eventually affect his weight.

Our non-negotiables have always been that he only gets fruit/yoghurt afterwards if he eats at least half of his dinner and we never replace one meal with another.

Might that a control issue?

Could you try giving him extra choices in his life? You probably do this already but maybe some extra ones.

Wear this coat or that coat, have a bath before or after supper? Little things.
Worth a try?

As long as he eats it doesn't really matter. I wouldn't withhold fruit if dinner wasn't eaten. I'd put fruit on the plate with the dinner. Toddlers don't care about a mixture of food on their plate. If it's a kiddie sugary yogurt I would give it at all... try a natural yogurt instead if you're worried about lack of calcium.

Perhaps he's full up with snacks.

"DS, we are going to stop eating on the sofa. The only place we will eat meals is altogether at the table." Then when he's refusing to eat at the table remind him this is his only chance to eat. Follow through and do not cave! You may have to let him go hungry a couple of times, so I'd start at lunchtime because you can then give him a bigger afternoon snack if he ends up not eating. Make sure he really loves some of the food on his plate but be prepared to send him to bed hungry. Give him monster breakfast and snacks so he's still getting nutrition.

I'd let him have at least half an hour of sitting at the table before starting to threaten the end of dinner. If he needs longer initially that's fine - you can shorten it later.

Don't draw this out obviously! If it doesn't start to work after three days or so, try something else. A few small meals won't hurt but an extended period is not good.

I'm assuming he has really good understanding of what you're saying. If not I might hesitate to do this method.

You should all be eating at the table together and don’t give him the option. Stop pandering to him.

Thanks, that's good advice! Unfortunately he isn't really speaking much yet so not sure how much he understands. It definitely feels like a behaviour thing - he's incredibly stubborn so I have a feeling this will be a bit of an uphill battle!

I hate when people say don’t pander to them, it shows little understanding that all kids are not alike, some just won’t eat for various reasons and yes they would starve themselves if you let them, in the past it was labeled as things like failure to thrive, so it’s always been there, so the nonsense of kids just ate what they were given isn’t true, but now we understand more about what issues can surround food and eating for kids. Just let him eat on his dads lap or anywhere, as long has he is eating that’s what matters. I never sat at the table ever growing up, just in front of the tv, I’m fine at dinner parties just so you know.