Mass Catering - allergies etiquette

[Witchbitch20]

Yesterday I catered for a family party (older relatives 0 birthday. Majority of the invited were 70 to 90.

Buffet was usual fayre - sandwiches, crisps, chicken bits, mixed salads, etc.

I wasn’t told of any allergies/ food issues and the ones I knew about I catered for (vegan, colitis sufferer, etc).

whilst I was removing foil etc someone came up to the buffet and said “Nothing her for me to eat other than sausages, sigh”. Didn’t really know her but found out she was the daughter of an invited guest so I said “sorry nobody told me about special diets” and she informed me she couldn’t eat dairy. Had a quick scoot and ran through everything that was dairy free in the table - two types of salad, vegan cheese, crisps, free from crackers, and some other bits. Salads were dismissed because she didn’t eat tomato (I explained no tomatoes they were red peppers), crisps couldn’t be eaten unless they were plain - they were.

Felt quite bad that someone couldn’t eat but equally a bit irritated as I’m also not psychic. So what is the etiquette for mass catering and allergies? Is it now considered normal to expect people to cover all the bases and try to provide everything?

I have allergies myself so I generally would either eat before or take something with me but what’s the general rule?

As a parent of a child with allergies I would always make it known in advance and offer to bring something, plus have an emergency snack to hand. If you're fussy as this person is then definitely this and you're not in the wrong.

She's just fussy. There were dairy free options, and she cannot correctly identify vegetables so is unable to eat salad. That's not a dietary issue, that's being foolish.
Plus she wasn't even a guest, she was a plus one. So it's down to the person she came with to tell you about her food preferences.
Seems like everyone else was happy. You'll always have one who can't be satisfied. Hopefully you'll not have her again!

Thanks both!

I’m doing another buffet in a few weeks and this has made me think (initially) that i needed to rethink the food planning, but the more I thought of potential issues the more it started getting out of hand.

She sounds fussy and attention seeking not liking a dairy free alternative and you did have "freefrom" food, isn't the same as not catering for allergies.

No, specific dietary requirements should be expressly mentioned in advance so that you can cater accordingly. And in this case, there were plenty of dairy free options, she just didn't like them. Entitled twat.

Some people absolutely love moaning on about stuff regardless.

My adult dd has anaphylaxis, if there isn't anything she can eat then she's just fine. She doesn't starve to death. She doesn't expect an event where she is the plus one of a guest and the food is a buffet to cater to her.

I mean sighing at a buffet whilst rolling your eyes just shows you what kind of person she probably is! I bet she was the first 1 up so she could have her moan.

I think it's really important to understand the difference between allergies and intolerances or preferences. An allergy must be catered for, and MUST be informed about in advance.

Intolerances/preferences at a buffet can almost always be managed just with a bit if flexibility from the person involved but if it's a huge issue, should be informed about in advance as well.

Too many people seem to think that their preferences should be treated like allergies, and then even worse, don't feel they need to inform anyone in advance - "of course there should be a full selection of vegan food at a bbq, in case a vegan turns up". Ridiculous.

I once invited a few families over for a BBQ. I Knew the one family well, the other family I'd met recently through the first family but also through school. Lovely. She arrived and said, "you do know I'm a vegetarian right?". I'm always happy to cater for different food needs, but how was I supposed to know?

As it turns out, she was crazy and entitled anyway and we had a huge fall out a year or two later. weirdly, she's obsessed with DH because of his profession and even after our big fall out spent a lot of time trying to get DH to basically hang out with her so she could benefit from his profession. The CFery in that one was high!

I always make sure my DS is fed before or we have food with us.

Even with allergies, it depends on the type and strength of allergy. People who have strong reactions to even the presence of the allergen (air-borne) in the same room are not at all the same thing as someone who can just avoid eating a certain food and/or someone who just gets a mild rash if they consume the allergen.

Nobody's psychic, so the sufferer should inform. But the expected reaction of others should also vary according to the 'need'. If I can't eat X, it may still be possible for other people to eat X.