Hahahahaha - I found the most amusing 'cookery' book

[LarryVeestAdamAntSpawnChorus]

It's called "100 Fresh Food Dishes For Health and Strength" by Mary Woodman. I'm guessing it was written in the 1950s (it belonged to my (insane) grandparents).

An excerpt from the preface:

"Cooking can therefore be stated to have been banished from these pages; primarily because cooking often deprives food of its nourishment....Moreover, cooking is costly. Think of the money spent during the course of a year in a normal home on cooking the various meals. Incidentally, cooking quickly robs a housewife of her good looks. The steam and heat are arch foes to beauty."

LOL

An example recipe:

"Grape Trifle"

Grapes
Bananas
Lettuce
Honey

First, take a little honey and mixit with just sufficient cold water to make a think syrup. Then slice up two or three bananas and pour the syrup over them. Next line a salad bowl with sound clean lettuce leaves. Turn the banana mixture on to them and arrange on top a layer of grapes [Mmmmmmmmmm lol]

Note particularly that not only should the grapes be stalked, but they must also be thoroughly washed. It cannot be too well known that grapes are prone to a fungoid disease and, to prevent this, vine cultivators spray the bushes with Bordeaux mixture which contains copper sulphate, a deadly poison

Another recipe ("Grape Nuts with Fruit") notes that "Some people complain that to crunch the Grape Nuts puts their teeth on edge. When this is so, pulverise them with a rolling pin" (worryingly ambiguous as to whether she means the Grape Nuts or the complainant).

Anyone want the recipe for "Cheese Mould"?

Hmm? Any takers? I can hear your tummies rumbling in anticipation!

is it part of the raw food movement thing?

Fuck knows...More likely part of the "I'm a complete headcase movement" as it belonged to my GPs.

But by limiting themselves to raw food they are missing out on liver en masque, although this tomato thing might be allowed.

Lio - you may mock, but I bet those Weight Watchers' extra pounds just fall off.

A corker, presumably for the er...more 'petite' reader:

"Shredded Wheat Fourre"

Shredded Wheat
Sardines
Carrot
Onion
Mustard and Cress
Butter

Chop up a small carrot and an onion together; then cut some mustard and cress into short snips. Next pulp a few sardines.

The split a 'shredded wheat' open; spread the inner face of both pieces with butter; arrange on this the sardines and vegetables. Strew both surfaces with the mustard and cress; and close the two portions.

In spreading the butter, take care that the 'shredded wheat' is not broken into fragments.

WTF? That's not a recipe...that's what you do when the Apocalypse has happened and you're trying to survive on the long-forgotten tombola winnings at the back of your cupboard.

You must be making that up whilst on some wierd medicinally enhanced journey larry.... that sounds completely hideous

Even assuming the worst had happened and you were trying to get by on the contents of your cupboard etc, who would open up a shredded wheat ffs? Sardines?

LOL!

I must remember that last bit in the OP next time DP moans that I haven't cooked dinner:

"cooking quickly robs a housewife of her good looks. The steam and heat are arch foes to beauty".

Could be in line for Quote of the Week, Larry:

"WTF? That's not a recipe...that's what you do when the Apocalypse has happened and you're trying to survive on the long-forgotten tombola winnings at the back of your cupboard."

Under what though, Frau? I don't see a 'deranged meal ideas' section.

It should really be a challenge on one of those 1980's Japanese game shows really.... who can eat the shredded wheat forre without barfing...

lio - that's such a funny site [http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards/salmonmousse.html hahaha]

oops

could this explain the tiny waists of our grandparents??-larry veest did u ever get invitd round for lunch??

Larry ROFL

just found a recipe for Sweet Pickled beaver from some 1970s Canadian cookbook....

snort!!

that is brilliant! I was going to try to top it with the funniest cookbook in my collection "Fit for a Royal Dane" in which Crown Prince Henrik of Denmark shares his tips for how to get your butler to prepare your favourite dishes.

His favourite breakfast eggs are partially boiled, then they have the tops removed, stuff done to the inside, and then sealed with a little crown of puff pastry and baked in the oven again. This is presented as a serious breakfast option.

However I have to admit defeat as yours is far funnier!

I think this one's alive

I have forgotten that site.

I love it so.

And the other ones that has samples of crazy cookbooks (cooking with 7up anyone?)

Larryveest I am ACTUALLY LITERALLY crying at that link.

Two words. Frankfurter Spectacular.

Oh my lord.

This is why I don't go to weight watchers. Well, there were other reasons but this is now my new reason. No movement that produced those recipe cards can be a good thing.

How utterly hilarious.Love the shredded whaet apocalypse thing.
Anyone interested in cookery books MUST get Nicola Humble's Culinary Pleasures

A fascinating elegant read and utterly hilarious too.I can't keep away from it-annoying when i have an essay to complete in 72 hours.

aw it won't let me see that site.