My 20 month old is becomming very unco-operative at mealtimes

[babybore]

and I fear I'm encouraging it.

She has gone off her highchair and will only sit in it for a max of 5 mins but preferably will sit on my lap and let me spoon feed her. At 15 months she was a good self-feeder, now she has really regressed and unless she is on top form, basically wants me to do all the work and to get a cuddle at the same time.

In order not to 'make mealtimes a battleground' I have gone with the flow and basically indulged her hoping that it is a phase. But it's been over a month now and I'm starting to find it annoying.

Should I start to be strict and not feed her unless she is sat at the highchair (which incidentally is one which you pull into the main table so it's not isolating her from me or dp)? Things is she's never been that interested in food and think she would happily skip a meal a day and I don't want that to happen either?

Thoughts please...

Does she eat at the same time as you? just asking as that made a big difference with ds.

Sometimes, sometimes not. Doesn't seem to make any difference tbh.

ok, well you have to stop letting it annoy you not making mealtimes a battleground doesn't mean indulging her though.
don't feed her, let her feed herself.
sit with her.
feed her a variety of nice healthy things. if she doesn't it, so what.
and really it doesn't matter at all if she misses a meal a day.
tbh my dd1 is a pretty light appetite and in hte end I gave her breakfast and dinner and just offered fruit or bread and butter at lunchtime. now she is at school she is back to eating again at lunchtime, but tbh she often eats very little at one meal a day. she seems to survive

Thanks harpsi. I have tried just sitting there next to her and waiting. She tends to play with the spoon or fork, then the food and then cry 'down down'. If I feed her the food, she eats it all happily... She's ok with finger food but will only take about 5 mouthfuls. Maybe that's enough though.

5 mouthfuls is fine, and if it isn't she will be hungry enough to eat more at the next meal!
the important thing is to rpovide healthy varied diet and the right environment to eat it
anything else, is the child's decision

you have to remember if they see you anxious at meal times they'll get anxious around food for a 1 yr old they only need 1 tablespoon of each portion so if plate full of food they can find this off putting

i found with my ds if i loaded plate he'd become anxious as i would be anxious if he didnt eat it then i was tld about portion size and he ate it all

let her experiment lots of praise and walk away and come back dont sit and stare as i found ds ate more left to his own devises

the less anxious i became the better he ate

Thanks bubbla, that is reassuring about the portion size. I don't get anxious because I know she will eat, I'm just starting to find it inwardly annoying about the regression. I don't show it though, I really don't. Just want to get it sorted out before I do start to show it!

to be honest i thought i was quite contained but he sensed something maybe the staring and the willing to eat more

i did find when he got to about a yr and half he didnt need as much food as he used to still doesnt will be 3 he eats very well but he used to eat very large meals

so in my mind something was wrong butwas probably growth spurt eating more then settled but once i knew portion size was relieved as he was clearing plate and new he had good amount

its one tablespoon per portion for each yr until able to eat normal size meals so my ds would be 3 tablespoons per portion

yes, there is a growth spurt from about 1 year to 18 months, then it is usual for appetite to drop off - this can alarm people but it is because they aren't growing so much and don't need so much.
I would say concentraate on quality not quantity - from long experience!