very very fussy 3 and a half year old,(barely eats) could do with some advice

[sazb]

he has a very limited diet,of spag bol(when hes in the mood)sometimes eats breakfast(coco pops or toast)he wont touch veg at all.ive tryed loads of tactics but still he hardly eats.HELP!!!!!!

give him the food you want him to eat

let him have it for a ceratin amount of time... the duration of your meal, half an hour or whatever will work for you

if he eats praise praise praise
if he doesnt no comment but nothing at all except water until next meal time

repeat above remembering NO child has ever starved themself to detah and hungry chidlren WILL eat

(incidently you dont have to offer he food he wants either... you offer what YOU want him to eat) to be kinder you could deviate to rice krispies / cornflakes / toasted pitta etc

see id sy the opposite to nannyl (sorry) id let him continue to 'graze' encourging new tastes-this is a phase he wont starve soon he will eat more than you could believe-if he will eat spag bol will he try tuna psta with tomato? cherry toms,toast can have a variety of toppings let him pick at stuff youre eating ,take him to the supermarket maybe invite another child for lunch - breadsticks he can dip into cream cheese and jam might help
good luck ive been there too xx

Sympathy! I have a dd of 4 and one 2.9, and they are both horrendous eaters, but the good news is they ARE getting better! I stay pretty relaxed about breakfast/ lunch, but they sit at the table with us and get the same as us at dinner time. If they eat it great, if they don't I at least try to get them to try it! We have a standing joke that my DH (who is bald) had all his fall out cos he didn't eat any veg as a child! The girls eat their veg and claim they can feel their hair growing! dd1 is now doing "healthy food" at nursery, which helps immensely!! I have tried everything- I involve them in the shopping, the cooking, we make up stories about the ingredients etc, but it is still a hard slog!! I try not to sweat it, as they are not underweight or unwell. Obviously I would prefer to have kids who would turn down chocolate for carrot sticks, but it's not happening!
It took me 7 years to get my DH to eat veg! I kept putting it on his plate, despite the fact he insisted it was poisonous (!!) My reasoning is, if it's not on their plate they have NO chance of eating it! If it's there they just MIGHT eat it!! I have been known to do victory laps of the living room when I found things the kids would eat!! Good luck! Just keep pushing that old boulder up the hill!!

of course we all have our own opinions byt my way DOES work

every charge who i have looked after has eaten pretty much EVERYTHINg ever by the time i have left with no fuss...

yes they all have things they dont relaly like (my 5 year old doesnt like tomatoes, fair enough)... when i started he ate fish fingers / nuggets / sausage / mash / chips and spag bol...

6 months on he ate most things... 18 months on he eats pretty much everything except raw tomatoes cause he just doesnt like them.

same in my old job....
fussy 4 year old turned into eat and try pretty much anything at all in 2 years, (but he never came roudn to liking jelly)

so long as they try food i dont really mind... you can tell weather they really hate it or are just moaning by their face when they try stuff anyway... its obviouse if they really hate something!

well i too will disagree nannyl im a qulified NNEB of 16 years with 3 children of my own i have worked with children with eating problems in the social services sector,i have nannied for 2 families with 3 children each for substanbtial times and all of my charges have come through this phase and so have my own children - the thing is food is to be enjoyed its not sufferance and you CANNOT train a child to eat by withholding food.

well when you give them delicouse nutritiouse meals regularly throughout the day you are not with holding food

but if they cannot face a delicious nutritious meal for whatever reason they need gentle encouragement to 'learn' to enjoy food and new tastes,and generally the way to approach this is little and often introducing new tastes and textures as you go.

my 1st post was v brief but (although not saif) IS what i mean

pregress from mash to jack pot with butter

spag bol (liked) mash (like) -> cottage pie

add / hide extra veg in bol sauce and make it bigger

fish fingers -> fish cakes -> fish

plain pasta to pasta and butter -> macaroni cheese.... -> pasta cheese sauce with salmon in etc etc, or pasta and sauce and veg in etc

combine all of above and you get lasagne

sasuages -> sausage casserole

toast -> pitta / muffins / rolls etc

they very soon learn...

(i wouldnt give a fussy child a big meal of curry and expect them to eat it but i WOULD expect a child who likes fish fingers to try fish cakes, or who likes to spag bol and mash to try cottage pie etc and if not then that can wait til next meal when they will by definition be hungrier and more likely to try etc)

What you've just described is what I've been doing with my fussy boy, now aged 3 yrs@nannyL. I work with the things he does like, experiment a bit with them, get him used to new variations over a few weeks or more, and then vary them even more.

wow thnks for all responce,i dont think refusing food that he likes is the answer.(ive tryed it to a degree)dont work for me,when he has spag bol he has it in a sauce on top of the pasta,so i put carrots,onions spinach etc in and blitz it.i dont really make a fuss as that dont work.ive tryed poping a little veg say spag bol with 1 carrot on the side he goes mad,i made sandwiches to day for lunch.with cheese in.(thats only thing he will have in a sandwhich) with little minni sausages,its still there now hes eatan a pkt of friut rasins in yogut to day.but nothing else,ive even done the we will make something together but when coming to taste he says no. im gonna try experimenting a little of what he likes and slowly introduce little more things,its hard not to worry though.hes not under weight wich is a relife so he is oviously getting enough of what he does eat.just really got worse the last 2weeks really so hopefully a phase

meant to say as a baby he eat anything and everything though.my daughter(whos 14 now) always was and still is a really good eater,so never exsperienced this before

My kids hate peppers but when I pureed them into a pasta sauce they had 3 helpings!

My DD is 4 and some days I think she barely eats enough to keep a bird going but she started eating more when she went to nursery and then school. It seemed like she ate very little as her older brother is a fantastic eater.

3nab god i so know what you mean:O xx

My eldest only eats tomato, cucumber, chips, edam cheese and crisps oh and bread.

If i try and get him to eat anything he does not he cries

I am also scared to take any further action as every time I try something new he gives up eating something he was actually prepared to do so.

Just tio make it extra interesting he also cannot say a word as he has glue ear (and a will of iron!!!!!!!!!!!).

I have today started using a reward chart with stickers. He did bring the breadstick to his mouth but flinched and most definitely did not eat it!

My DD1 is also a nightmare eater. She loves cereal so will happily stuff her face at breakfast and starve for the rest of the day if she doesn't like the food on offer.

She has fads of loving a food and then going off it. I don't worry too much any more, she likes fruit and yoghurt but it's my lovingly prepared dinners that she turns her nose up at that break my heart, mind you she also often turns her nose up at junk food too so I don't take it too personally. DS1 is often quite keen to eat her share so it doesn't often go to waste.

sazb, does he guzzle milk? My ds1 used to fill himself up with milk and eat virtually nothing! When we cut the milk down to 1 pint a day, he got much better.
Also, ds1 went to a a nursery when I was in work and ate much better there than when at home. Peer pressure can make a big difference. Could you invite some little friends over who eat well, to give him the idea?

Ds (3.5yo) is a nightmare with food, though apart from a couple of months he has been since he went on solids .

The biggest thing ime is not to make it an issue. DOn't let him see you're stressed about it or get into an argument over it.

As long as his weight doesn't plummet or he becomes sleepy all the time - health wise, he's fine.

If worried try vitamins (you can get a liquid one called abidec) to set your mind at rest.

As long as he is eating at least once a day (about the quantity of a boiled egg) then that is enough to keep him going so don't get too worried.

I use - 1 or 2 meals that they will eat and then 1 or 2 new meals (or meals that contain new foodstuffs). DOn't make a fuss, jsut leave them to get on with it and take away at the end what they don't eat.

Try and eat with them as it sets good example.

I won't go into ds history (it is long) but just say that him eating every day is an improvement. And he's never got dangerously underweight.

what a surprise to see nannyL refusing to believe that she could be even a tiny bit wrong on this subject

chipmonkey he does love milk,he has two bottles(i know bottles at his age) in the evening.he still refuces to eat breakfast at mo,he did eat half of round of bread wth a slice of cheese today and at playgroup had some apple yippee!! thearmanillo i dont get stressed anymore but do worry still.maybe he picks up on that.hes not under weight at least.im gonna go and get some of those vitamins,where would you get them from hun.?

chipmonkey just realised about you saying about him being sleepy,he says hes always tired,but he dosnt sleep very well at night either though.and crys alot at night.

joolyjoolyjo thanks hun,it feels like such a hard slog at times he is very very stuborn as well.dont know where he gets that from gonna try and be firmer with him as he does get away wth alot really.and eating is just one of the issues he has

I think 2 bottles is rather a lot of milk for a child without a big appetite. Could you cut back a bit. Maybe a couple of oz less in each bottle and see if that boosts his appetite for breakfast. Or you could try putting the milk in a cup and see if he drinks a bit less. My DD is the same age and she has a special milk cup - it is a mug with a picture of the snowman on which is used only for her warm milk. I think this is a comforting association for her, but she has, at most, half a mug full.

DD1 can be a bit like this and LOVES her milk - you have to cut it down/out imo if you want a fussy child to feel hungry enough to eat. DD1 could easily live on milk and cereal if she was allowed, with the odd chunk of cheese.

I find a "smorgasbord" always gets them eating well - chopped up cheese, good ham, chicken, cucumber, raw carrot, apple, apricots, raisins - maybe some other veg if they will eat them. Serve with some bread (but only give the bread once they are tucking in or they will just eat bread only!) I also add a few crisps - just to show that all food is good, we have to eat a variety, if we only eat cheese we're going to look like a chunk of cheese etc... (am rambling but you get my drift)

Jacket potatoes are a good one - put different toppings into bowls and let them help themselves

same with pizza - get a plain one and let them sprinkle it with tuna and sweetcorn.