Toddler won't eat

[jaydeflann]

Hi,

I have a DS - 2 years old. We have been struggling for a long time with his eating. He hardly eats and doesn't tell us when he is hungry, we just have to guess. He will refuse to eat most things, resorting to have to give him toast as we know that's pretty much the only thing he will eat. We have tried everything! And now getting to the point where it affects me and Dad mentally. It's all we can think about and I pretty much end up crying every night as I feel I have failed him or he hasn't ate enough. He's very small for his age anyway and he has been weighed with little progress but HVs are not concerned just now about his weight (although I am, he is tiny). Have any of you experienced this and can give any advice on what to do next?

I can't help massively but have you tried dishing something up, then leaving them to it (in ear shot but out of sight of them) my dd will sometimes refuse to eat what she's got but if I walk off she will get on and eat it

The Solid Starts website has some really good resources.

I have tried that and in the past it worked a few times but now just ends up in a tantrum and wanting out of his high chair. I guess I should keep persisting but the more he does it every night it takes it's toll :/

This sounds really hard. Can you involve him in cooking? I let my 2yo son cut up mushrooms and cucumber with a bread knife at his little kitchen (even if we're not having them - keeps him busy). He also helps stir sauces put pasta in water etc.
He hasn't sat at a highchair for over a year and now eats his food using the same cutlery and crockery as us.
Does he like eating at cafes or restaurants? Teddy bears picnic?
Take a look at SR Nutrition, she has a lot on fussy eating and holds regular webinars.

Solid Starts is what has made a massive difference to us!

Could he sit at the table if he wanted? If mine don't eat dinner I leave it on the table, they come back to have a little nibble.

Serve atleast one "safe" foods.

Use different cutlery, tractor/dinosaur cutlery, chop sticks, hands.

Serving bowls - My kids are always more likely to try something if its in a serving bowl in the middle and they can grab it themselves or use serving spoons. Literally tonight my kid ate chicken for the first time because it was in the middle.

Get them cooking/ preparing - one of my kids only eats veg raw, so munches most things whilst preparing them.

Don't talk about food at the table or narrate what they eat ... you really have to let it go ( I know it's hard)

Good luck and remember their tastes change all the time.

Kids eat in colour is another good resource. On Instagram.

I know it’s very tempting to offer something else (toast) if you don’t think they’ve had enough but they’ll (potentially) perceive that as if they hold out and refuse to eat this then they’ll get the toast. I would serve toast with the meal every time for a long time if that is the only safe food and eventually (hopefully) they’ll eat something else.

try not to put pressure on them to eat although I know this is extremely difficult. 2 year olds growth also slows way down at this age so babies just weaned often eat similar portions to toddlers just because of the nutritional needs.

It’s very hard and you have my sympathies. Do they go to nursery at all? I hat are eating habits like there?

Agree with having the safe food (toast) served with the meal.

Make your own meals from the middle are very popular, like wraps - fajitas, fish finger wraps - he eats anything in a wrap at the moment!

Anything from a packet, like babybel cheese, muesli bar etc. We don't give them to him often but if he's been ill and off his food he will usually be interested.

Has he always been this bad. You say he will eat toast but write down everything he will eat even if he doesn't eat it every time. It can be reassuring to see that list.
Eating is hugely emotional, however hard you try to hide it, he will be picking up on your anxieties around him eating. It's so tempting to coax and tempt and reason but try not. Your job is simply to provide the food. He choses what and how much of it he has.
Is he still having milk?
Also try snacks left out during activities. Don't mention them at all but make sure he see you or others eating them. A trip to the park with a few pots of breadsticks, apple wedges, cheese cubes out on the bench for picking at.