custy needs help again

[Tortington]

i cant cook - i know you think its easy to follow a recipe - but it never works - its like saying " haw hard it is to wter a plant" well cant do that either

my problem is this

i hate cooking. recently my domestic situation means that i have to do all the fucking cooking
this means that last time we went shopping bought anything that went "DING!" and we idnt sit down together and eat all week and i just shouted to te kitche " get somma out offrezzer and whizz it if your hungry"

both shit for family cohesiveness and in the good mm stakes i felt super guilty.

anyway

even what you consider to e fast things - like pasta and mince isnt.

it isnt it ist it isnt

this is becuase i like to stew te meat for a bit becuase i have OCD regarding cooked meet.

my dh wont eat anything the least bit unmanly becuase he is a dick

lat nights tea consisted of me cooking 4 gammon staks and frying egg - for dick

whilst i then did mince, leak, onion, tomato, garlic fryup /sweat off and pasta

trying to make this cook and come together at sametime - is a fucking nightmare.

and i always do it

i dont know what i am asking - i am fucked off

i hate cooking

no one cleans the grill pan, the frying pan, the sweat off pot - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh

watch dicks face should i present him with a baked potato

and then harken this - does anyone takeanythng out for defrosting?

do
they
fuck.

now dick thinks he works as a fucking lumberjack or summat and only a big steak of grizzy bear will do

i think your getting the analogy
i iz not even shittin ya when i say that he gets nasty over being given girl food.

the problem is - i hate dicks fod

steaks are boring and pants and i would ratherchew my own fanny

i hate ham or gammon or even thick bacon i heave its disgusting

i bought a sandwich toastie - thats good

so without being fancy and considering that anythingthat need watching, strring, any attention at all i cant do, i cant cook and i am tired fucked off and cant be arsed

any suggestions

Make Dick an ENORMOUS pot of beef stew and freeze in individual portions. Then tell Dick to defrost one of those each night when he is hungry.

Then, you are free to cook for yourself each night whatever you want

custy you don't need to brown the meat for stew. just bung it in the pot. add onions, wine, salt etc bring to boil on top of stove, put lid on and leave in oven all day (overnight?) on lowest setting.

slow roast pork?

and re washing up. if you cook it they must clean up.

i think that freezing and defrosting could be the key here

how do you make a sit load of spag bol and freeze it

you dont freex the spag - i take it

and is it ok to just whizz the bol in the mickywave - after you have cooked it once?

can you onyl re-heat once

can you only do this with mince

can you do this with chicken?
wont everyone die if you do this with chicken?

can you freeze mash? if you freeze mash can you whizz it in the micky? or does it go hard?

Another idea for cheap and meaty food for dick would be spare ribs - only cost a couple of quid for a rack of ribs, cover in barbecue sauce (tesco sells pouches of barbecue marinade), shove it over the top and cook for half an hour. Caveman food.

To ring the changes you can make a huge big cauldron of mince, onions, herbs and seasoning. Can siphon some of that off, add tomatoes, chilli and kidney beans and freeze as a chilli, another load add tomatoes and basil for a bolgnese sauce, another load and add red wine/ beef stock/gravy, top with mash to have shepherds pie.

Or buy a George Foreman grill for your caveman - at least it frees up hob space and something can be grilling happily whilst you do something else.

Buy 3lbs mince and make 3 times as much as usual.

Eat a portion one night

Freeze in separate containers the other 2 portions for other nights.

dont freeze the spaghetti as that can be easily cooked on the night

take out a portion of sauce in the morning and leave to defrost in the fridge so you can reheat it in a pan in the evening.

dont you have teenagers? Why are they not cooking?

of course you can freeze mash knobbo

Send teenagers and dick on a cookery course or get Forman grill thing, dead easy to whack on any meat stuff for aforementioned dick while the rest of you have salad. Pasta bakes a piece of piss if you use dry pasta some sauce and water, chuck in oven, set timer and grilled meat for 'real man' [sarky emoticon]

How's the PMT incidentally? as if I didn't know!

didn't read getorfmoiland's post

custy.... do the fiends peel potatoes?

Get some stewing steak/beef. Put oven proof dish. Add chopped onions, peeled and chopped potatoes. Pour over tin of chopped tomatoes, rinse the tin out with red wine. Chop and add any veg in fridge/cupboard etc. Cover dish (with lid or with foil). Pop in oven for an hour or two.

A nice manly stew/casserole for Dick!

Do the same with chicken only use white wine.

Need to go out. Will try to think of more Custy-proof dishes.

What you need is stuff to throw into a pot, turn said pot on. Stir once or twice. Serve really!

have you fallen into the chest freezer trying to reach the last pack of sausages custy?

dh stripped a bought cooked chicken, bought some ciabatta and did a plate of salad

creamycustardo at htmail dot com

why are my teenagers not cooking

good fucking point - i dunno

DH is chef

Just read yor OP to him and asked for his suggestion

"chew your fanny then"

spotted dick?

Can't you sit in the kitchen and read the recipes yto your teenagers - I like roasted veg - you don't have to spend hours cutting them. Chop into big wedges, stick a bit of chicken in it, add herbs and olive oil, cover with foil and stick it in oven until done.

Yeah! Do family time.

Sit at the kitchen table with a large glass of something nice!! Open cook book and read cooking instructions to the teenagers and Dick!! Or just the teenagers.

Tell them

a) this is a new thing called family time
b) you are preparing them for the big wide world
c) either cook or dont eat!!

Well done Dick for eating girly food!

Also - pmsl at your op.

we eat at 7.30

i dontdrink wine during thw eek.

thanks for your suggestions but i realy dont wan famil time cooking

i dont like coking

i dont like preparing

thanks a lotgirls - i think that this will kuisthave to take a lot more thinking about.

Slow cooker m'dear. My family would never eat if i didn't have one.