at 18m do you offer alternatives or just let them go hungry?

[flirtygerty]

very fussy Dd - refuses most foods so I just give her the pudding she would have had anyway (fruit/yog etc) but nothing extra thats sweet. quite often end up making her scrambled egg which is pretty much the only savoury thing she'll eat so I know she has had something inside her.

when do you start with the 'its this or nothing'approach? she has quite good undersatnding (I think) but non existent speech & only 4 teeth! I just never know if her lack of appetite is down to permanent teething/ dislike of the food itself/bloddymindedness

no its not healthier i agree but sometimes its a happy medium ....i dont know what id do if they continually refused my food tho?

Cry, like i have done before

Usually (with so many) someone eats it though...

Going with your instincts is usually best. You know your own children better than anyone and you will usually be right! You are also more likely to "stick to your guns" if you instinctively feel that what you are doing is right.

Dd (21mths) is given food with us and then it's up to her what she chooses to eat from that.

I won't force her to eat anything but at the moment I always give her it on her plate as an option. - eg I always put raisins in her porridge (like mine), she has picked them out for about 2 months (I haven't commented, just enjoyed eating with her, naming them as raisins and playing) but for no apparent reason she now eats them.

If dd doesn't eat much dinner, she can always have a snack later - as long as it's a healthy snack of course (eg an apple). I don't do alternatives for meals (although I guess I wouldn't cook something that I really thought she would hate without including something she likes, maybe). She has had 'family' normal food and spicy stuff since weaning.

Toddlers are meant to be picky! It's a control thing.

I think alot of people are hung up on "meals", many toddlers prefer snacking. I leave out some healthy snacks on a little table for my DD to pick at especially if she didn't have much lunch as today. She has in the last 20mins eaten 5 bits of fruit and is munching her way through a falafel. Tea will be a bit later than usual. In my mind it doesn't matter when they eat but what and how much they eat.

Agree Tapster. We usually manage dinner and breakfast as a 'proper meal'! But espesh weekends usually end up this way. Don't think it matters as long as you have an overview of what they/you are eating over the day.

Like the social aspect of all eating together at the table though.

I think it's healthier to allow some easy-to-reach alternative foods than to let food become a battleground or a control issue - something I really think can be dangerous.

The truth is that yes many toddlers do prefer snacking. It is our job to re adjust this to eating family meals. Children who go to pre-school cannot snack as and when they want. If parents allow it, then because they will have a limited stomach capacity in one sitting they do not get enough food during the time at pre-school as the only times they are allowed to eat is snack and lunch times. Also, the same goes for school children. If they have been able to eat whenever as a toddler, they will struggle to eat all of a packed lunch in one sitting at lunch time. This means they will drop calorie intake. They are usually slow eaters as well, meaning that with many schools having a time limit on lunch, they will be unable to eat everything.

I have never really offered alterntaives to what I cook. I gave small portions of a meal, if DD wanted more she could have seconds. And a pudding was always offered in the same way. I tried to choose puddings that were also pretty healthy/balanced.

If DD was consistently rejecting a type of food, then after trying it a few times I worked out it was probably a real displike, not a fad, and just didn't cook that for her in the furture, and tried something also.

DHD was also very slow with getiin teeth - first one at 13 months. But it didn't hinder her eating at all.

Fruit were always available.

At 18 months DD liked to eat smaller meals, but more frequently - so would usually have breakfast, early lunch, mid afternoon snack, and then dinner with me and DH at 6:30pm.

another disaster today!! tonights tea - chicken fingers - homemade - on the floor. broccoli & cauliflower - which we liked last week - on the floor. rice - floor. dippy sauce, & yoghurt - me ;-)

still ds ate all his and the dog has done a fab job of cleaning the floor.....

however when I produced a slice of cheese from teh fridge her eyes lit up, so for tea she has had a slice of cheese & a giant ricecake with philly on it.

cheese, salmon & eggs are the only protein I can get down her at the moment which is a bit of a worry as she can't have that every day.

........at least life is never dull.......

ds went through a funny eating stage at 15 months. it got taken away and no pudding offered. we are only eat yoghurt for pudding but he loves it so didn't want him to learn if he refused his dinner he got to the yoghurt part quicker.