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Original poster

How many takeaways a week do your kids have?

104 replies

summersbysea · 03/07/2022 23:16

My ex spoils them rotten each time they visit him. My children are 5 and 7 and now after school keep asking me for takeaways!
They refuse to cook food I've made and will ask for kebabs, chips, Macdonald's blimin big Mac !
He's got them addicted and I feel it will make them really unhealthy.
Right now both aren't overweight but If they carry this on into teens this can't be good for their health and also their wallet.
I have to keep forking out and costs me a fortune.

OP posts:
NiqueNique · 04/07/2022 10:55

@Dragonsmother Flowers that’s rough. Why on earth is everything outside of work down to you? Your husband should absolutely be doing his fair share in the household and with parenting. It’s time for a conversation with him...

Givemeallthegin8 · 04/07/2022 10:56

every Friday is McDonald’s but if we have something on the weekend and I know we will have a takeaway then we switch up the days .
Over the summer holidays we would generally have chips on the beach once a week and maybe a pizza somewhere when out as well. So I suppose McDonald’s is more of a term time thing.

We used to eat at a restaurant a lot but have cut down so on a normal month maybe once .

As a child id say we had McDonald’s once a year ! Same with ice creams out, as children we would occasionally get an ice cream but mine would get one on average twice a week during the summer - would love for it not to become a habit but it’s so hard when out for a walk and there’s five ice cream vans along the way with everyone Eating ice cream it’s hard to constantly say no!

bloodyunicorns · 04/07/2022 10:57

Never.

But that's not really the issue. You need to stand up to your your kids, parent them, and say no to takeaways when you can't afford them or you have something else planned for tea. So what if they kick off? No one ever died of embarrassment.

Each time you give in to them, they learn that tantrumming gets them their own way. And they're a bit old for tantrumming like toddlers...

Dragonsmother · 04/07/2022 10:58

Thanks @NiqueNique
My DH is a trades man. They don’t pay sick, if DS is sick it’s down to me. DH leaves at 6am to get into London for 9am jobs. Then home at 7pm.

His workplaces attitude is if you can’t do it leave. There is no working parent support in his workplace.

It is time to make some changes as I feel like I have aged and I can’t take it anymore

Tilda77 · 04/07/2022 11:03

In a perfect world children would eat whatever they're given...we all know this isn't always the case 😅
Maybe you could go down the route of takeaways being expensive OP? At 5 and 7 they are old enough to understand in simple terms. Maybe put some of the money you would spend on takeaways in a pot for a special treat or fun day out? If they can see the money adding up and have an incentive it might help to break the cycle? Also take a healthy snack when you pick them up from school so they're not over hungry and wanting a quick food fix might help?
My boys are older but in the past we said no to takeaways and eating out as we're putting the money towards x y z. They didn't appreciate it at the time but did when we did x y z.

Goodskin46 · 04/07/2022 11:04

I try to keep it to no more than once a week usually on the way back from a club or something. Some weeks not at all. Will do chips or wedges and pizza at home.

NiqueNique · 04/07/2022 11:05

@Dragonsmother Ah that sounds rough on him too! I wasn’t being disparaging btw - you did say he works long hours too, and it’s understandable that if he’s in a demanding physical job he’ll be exhausted as well and it may not be viable for him to do 50/50. But you can’t continue how you are so the two of you are going to have to come up with some kind of system/division of labour that works for the two of you and lets you have some breathing space.

Fridaysgirl17 · 04/07/2022 11:06

We have it once a week my son loves a local chippys pizza so we get that Saturday night,if he asks again during the week I say no we get that only on Saturday,he can moan all he likes he's not getting it,I'm the adult in charge of the money & food,he eats what I give him or not,simple as.He also gets McDonald's when he has his bloods done for his hypothyroidism but that's only twice a year 😄

Goodskin46 · 04/07/2022 11:06

NiqueNique · 03/07/2022 23:41

No. If they’re told no and they make a scene then guess what, you’re still the parent and you still say no. It isn’t actually a big deal.

But you have offered dinner and they have refused. That's not the same as not feeding them !

Dragonsmother · 04/07/2022 11:08

Thank you @NiqueNique your response has made me realise that I need to put myself first as well and that it is time for change, thank you x

pastaandpesto · 04/07/2022 11:09

In an average week, zero.
In an average month, zero.
In an average year - two or three, maybe?

But we live quite rurally so take out options are limited and shit.

It's tough situation OP. I don't think you have any choice but to stand firm, but its shit that your ex isn't taking more responsibility for teaching them healthy eating habits. Its also annoying because then you are left having to compensate by making sure that they always eat healthily with you, so you don't get to give them the odd treat.

liveforsummer · 04/07/2022 11:12

We get McDonald's fairly often as dc have a hobby that has us out late and the drive thru is a convenient and quick way to eat on the way home so they can get ready for bed as soon as we get in. Outside of that not all that often - mainly just if I can't be bothered to cook after a long day. Sounds like you're dc are ruling the roost though. You absolutely would not receive a phone call from school about not feeding your dc. You did feed them. Re giving in because they are screaming in public - I'd knock that on the head right away or where's it going to end. They have to know they can't get what they want all the time and that screaming won't make a bit of difference or your life is going to get harder and more expensive. It's fine to have different rules and habits in different households and kids can learn that

MiniMoosey · 04/07/2022 11:16

Once a week on a Friday. 7 year old has a club that finishes at 7 and it’s a pain so baby has his dinner before we leave and we get a takeaway. Gives me chance to get the baby to bed and for 7 year old to have a shower and into pj’s while the takeaway is cooked and delivered.

Bettyboop3 · 04/07/2022 11:17

summersbysea · 03/07/2022 23:31

Kids have this power of the nag and creating a big scene in public when they don't get what they want.

Show quote history

That's only because they know you will give in.

3WildOnes · 04/07/2022 11:17

Dragonsmother · 04/07/2022 10:49

My DS has McDonald’s 1-2 times a week.
I am really really struggling TBH.

I am working over 60hrs a week, DH is also working long hours. But everything cooking, cleaning, childcare is down to me.

I do school pick up and drop off, Work my job, I then have to turn my laptop on again and work 9pm- 1am. Then life starts again at 6.30am.

I am exhausted, I am burnt out and I know that DS should not be eating so badly. I am too exhausted to argue with him.

I guess your post has brought it all home for me how burnt out I am 😞

This sounds completely unsustainable. Why are you both working so much? This isn't healthy at all. Can you change jobs to one with regular hours? One of you work part time?

SingingInParadise · 04/07/2022 11:17

None at that age.

And interestingly, when they did start having a MacDo etc… they hated it. Still do now as older teen and will only tolerate it if they are out with friends/school trips etc….

Badger1970 · 04/07/2022 11:17

Rarely. We live rurally so it wasn't an option and we'd have the odd treat on holiday.

It's a form of child abuse IMO. There's no nutritional value in it, and just gives them a taste for over salted and over sweetened fake food. If they're eating that crap 2 or 3 nights a week, they'll soon forget what normal food tastes like.

I'd let them scream all they want. You're their parent, not their friend.

SquigglePigs · 04/07/2022 11:19

DD is only 3 so doesn't really have take aways. We get the odd McDonalds drive through if we're travelling. We do tend to eat out once each weekend - usually a brunch or something like that. She'll generally eat a sausage, scrambled egg and beans, maybe half a hash brown or piece of toast so not really any worse than a cooked breakfast at home. She's started to taste our take away Indian food so can imagine her joining us for that soon enough. At that point it'll probably be one take away every week or two and a meal out at the weekend. But the point is it's our choice, not hers and if we go somewhere where she didn't like the food and only ate chips for lunch then we'll make up for it with a veggie packed homemade meal later in the day.

crimsonlake · 04/07/2022 11:22

When mine were younger a McDonalds as a treat possibly in the school holidays. It stops being a treat if you have anything too often.

MiniMoosey · 04/07/2022 11:22

Badger1970 · 04/07/2022 11:17

Rarely. We live rurally so it wasn't an option and we'd have the odd treat on holiday.

It's a form of child abuse IMO. There's no nutritional value in it, and just gives them a taste for over salted and over sweetened fake food. If they're eating that crap 2 or 3 nights a week, they'll soon forget what normal food tastes like.

I'd let them scream all they want. You're their parent, not their friend.

shut up 🤣

Lesserspottedmama · 04/07/2022 11:22

Macdonalds is horrendous, my children (10,7,4,3) have only ever been once - we did drive through - and I was so appalled that we’ve never been again. They honestly found the food bizarre and have never asked to go back. We have fish and chips maybe twice a year.

Lesserspottedmama · 04/07/2022 11:23

Why not just by supermarket pizza if you want a junk food tea

Veryverycalmnow · 04/07/2022 11:24

That must be awful, OP. Why are they screaming over chips? They need to learn that that doesn't get them what they want or they'll carry on using that technique.
I don't think there's much harm in having a takeaway every couple of weeks or something. My DS has never shown an interest in that kind of food, so is happy to eat the boring stuff I make him at home.
If you want to make the change, it's up to you to do it. Any other ways you can make eating home cooked meals more appealing? Maybe have it picnic style sometimes with loads of choice?

Bettyboop3 · 04/07/2022 11:25

MiniMoosey · 04/07/2022 11:22

shut up 🤣

Show quote history

Why?!

Flangelica · 04/07/2022 11:25

My kids are a similar age and eat none of those types of takeouts. We live abroad and eat out a lot but in normal restaurants (various forms of rice/veggies/meat normally).

Mine like pizza but their dad loves cooking so he makes his own pizzas from scratch at home, so we can keep a closer eye on ingredients. They don't like McDonald's although will eat the fish burger if there's nowhere else around to eat.

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