How do I get my boy to swallow?

[ItsNotOnlyTheGoodBits]

Yes - I am aware that if the title is taken out of context it would be rude!

However I am at the end of my tether. My 17 month old boy is very good at putting all sorts of food in his mouth. He will even chew it, but then he will spit it out. He's not fussy in that he refuses food, he just won't swallow it.

It is very fustrating and I can't remember the last time he had a proper meal. I know he is hungry because he grabs other food, as in things I don't want him to have too much of - rice cakes, the odd crisp or two - that's not a meal. It is so horrible to have cooked something and for him not to eat it, even worse when we are out and I buy him a child's meal and he won't eat it. Even mushy jar food he won't eat. He doesn't kick up a fuss or anything though.

He is otherwise fairly happy and active and I know someone will say that if that's the case he's fine and not to worry...but I do, worry. If there is anything at all that anyone out there can advise to help me I will be very garteful.

The other day I ended up screaming at him about it He's only little and doesn't deserve that.

Can he physically swallow and if so what things will he swallow? Did this start recently? I presume he can swallow liquids?

Oh yes - he can swallow. Still bf morning, eve and night. He drinks water. Usually (except for this morning) has one Weetabix and milk for breakfast.

He used to eat, never what I would consider 'enough', but he would eat. He has gone through periods before when he would go off his food because he was ill or something, but there is nothing like that now. The current non-swallowing period has been going on for definitely a few weeks, if not a couple of months.

So he's only had breakfast all that time except today where he's eaten nothing at all? Is that right?

Well he has a couple of bites of lunch/dinner and maybe some snacks. But yes some days he literally only has breakfast.

Lunch today though was an improvement - some sweetcorn and maybe seven/eight pieces of pasta and a couple of pieces of mango. I only put two spoons of sweetcorn on his plate and he by no means finished it. He will (hopefully) have a glass of milk soon as well.

Actually, mad as it may seem, that sounds fine and I wouldn't worry. As long as he is physically able to eat, then he won't starve himself. Has he been teething lately too? There is something that happens when they're one and they are known the eat less (generally of course), narrow down severely on the foods they'll eat and lose weight too. It's a 'recognised phenomenon' as it were...

Definitley don't scream at him, but of course you know that

Adults sometimes make a very big deal of feeding when actually everything is fine. Keep offering him small, healthy snacks and trust his appetite to work properly - they usually do. Actually I read something about how we lose the ability to regulate ourselves around food because we learn to be driven by custom, eg 3 meals a day. Link to increased obesity rates etc. Anyway, slightly off the point.

Somehow I knew that would be the answer. I was hoping there was something I could 'do' about it though.

There are some back teeth coming through so I wasn't too concerned about the whole non-eating thing at first. It has just gone on for so long and some days are just so hard.

I hate 'recognised phenomenons'!

Thanks for sticking with me today. Much appreciated.

Definitely I mean

It's really common to feel anxious around food but try not to show it - so if he doesn't eat it, just take it away, smile, move on to the next thing, bring it back later... Also, can be handy to view diet across whole week rather than individual days or even meals. Good luck

Walnutshell - not off the point at all. I've been trying not to stick to 3 meals a day in an attempt to see if that will encourage him to eat something. But no such luck.

There is something about food and children though that I thinks gets to most parents at some time or other. I think it is a primeval instinct to do with survival orsomething. Anyway enough psychobable...

Hopefully he will grow out of it And then it'll be something else.

At least he is asking for his milk now...well is is asking for b-milk but we don't have booby after lunch any more - where's that cow?

Think we just said the same thing, although you worded it better.

Good idea to look at a wider timescale rather than day-to-day. I'll try to do that more.

Now really must milk that cow - where's the fridge?

Yes, definitely something about feeding and survival that can make it a tense one. This is an issue I have almost prided myself on mastering but still get irked sometimes.

We'll refrain from analysing my other parenting inabilities

Oh getting het up by food isn't my only parenting inability by a long shot!

The main thing is that it is hard, and I try not to compare but, when I see friends' children eating well I feel even worse. My problem and I need to get over it.

I've been thinking of coming on here to vent for a while. I'm glad I did as you have all made me feel better.

I may be a crap mother, but at least I'm not purposely starving my child

Crap mother - no.

Look, we all look at other people's children and compare, then try not to compare, then compare how much we are comparing - but really, it's largely irrelevant. So you do the best you can (mostly, not always) for your own children and that includes not being too hard on yourself.

Yes, MN great for venting.