Please help, i'm hopeless at this!

[Shabtipup]

I am a hopeless cook, I have no idea where to start. My experience so far is literally just microwave or oven dinners. Now I have a serious partner and I'm living with him, we are quite traditional meaning he works full time, I work part time but I do the cooking/cleaning. And he mostly supports us financially. No kids yet. I really want to be good at cooking but how? Never had a mum to teach me she passed when I was 4 so I have no idea what I'm doing lol. I'm 25 and just never really picked up the skill. Maybe give me some easy dinner ideas/recipes or point me the right direction of where to start?? Thank you

Student cookbooks
Janie Oliver ministry of food
Think of something you like to eat and have a look on YouTube if you're a more visual learner

Also Gousto! You can then purchase the ingredients and make it yourself

Not the point of the post op but if he supports you financially make sure you have NI contributions x

Delia’s How To Cook books will help you a great deal, in the three books she covers all the basic cooking techniques.

Learning how to do things like make a white sauce, make soffritto, make gravy or make a cake etc etc will give you the knowledge to make a wide range of meals for your family.

Thank you, I pay NI out of my part time wages is that what you mean?

What kind of learner are you? Videos may be better thank cookbooks. I've not watched any cooking shows in yonks, but I think Jamie Oliver was pretty good about explaining why you are doing things or things that you could do differently and he has a lot of "basic" recipes. (For instance, when making a mac and cheese, he may say something like "I'm adding a bit of nutmeg which will lift the flavour a bit. But you could try a teaspoon of english mustard which will give it a bit of a kick". I think the thing with recipe books is that you need to bear in mind they are just a jumping off point and most cooking is a little ad hoc, what do I have in the pantry or fridge, but it takes some confidence to cook like that

I have a good progression you can follow!

Tomato sauce (soften onions, celery, garlic. Add tinned tomatoes and herbs. Simmer until it's thick)

Use some of the sauce on pasta for dinner.
Use some on a pizza base (learn how to make a fresh base later).
Fry some minced beef, add in the tomato sauce- Spaghetti Bolognese.
As above, add a tin of kidney beans, some chopped peppers and some chilli- chilli con carne.
The same tomato sauce makes a good soup and a great pasta bake.

As you get more confident you can refine what you do, but for a basic start it's really handy.

Other easy starters are tray bakes. Peel and cut to about the same size: potatoes, carrot, big chunks of cauliflower/frozen broccoli. Spray with oil and sprinkle with salt and herbs. Add good quality sausage or chicken thighs. Roast for about an hour, stirring maybe three times.

I also rate the website 'cooking on a boot strap'. She assumes you have very little equipment, and is great at simplifying and explaining things.

@pawpaws2022

Also Gousto! You can then purchase the ingredients and make it yourself

Thank you I just ordered from Gousto! Expensive but I guess just to start me off and give me an idea of what I'm doing, it's a brilliant idea!

@catfunk

Not the point of the post op but if he supports you financially make sure you have NI contributions x

Thank you, I pay NI out of my part time wages, is that what you mean? X

@Shabtipup the recipes are stored in the gousto app too so you can refer back to them
There's one I keep making over and over as it's so good

Why are you only working part time, at 25, before having kids or even before getting married?

@AlbertBridge

Why are you only working part time, at 25, before having kids or even before getting married?

I think a better question would be why not? I won't go into detail of why I live this way but if I can, why wouldn't I? Sorry if that seems vague, I don't need to share all the details, but why do you ask?

We see a lot of people on here who are trapped in difficult situations. There are a couple of things you posted that can be sign posts for someone in a vulnerable position.
Obviously it's none of our business, this is a cooking thread.
Obviously they are indicators, not cast iron predictors- you could be the exception that proves the rule!

You are very young, lost your mum young, and working part time in a relationship where he works more hours and is happy to keep you in a dependent situation where you have household responsibilities and limited financial opportunities. Several things about suggest your situation is vulnerable, that you could be vulnerable.
But we're jaundiced having seen so many trapped desperate women in coercive controlling relationships, that started out rosy!

Just be a wee bit alert to the potential for problems!

Because you're now financially dependent on a man.

The details you have given raise some red flags.

Absolutely @picklemewalnuts

Just looking out for you op.

YouTube for cooking tutorials all the way.

I know Delia Smith is not the most contemporary food writer around but she’s great at classic recipes that you can go on to adapt. I think she has her own You Tube channel with videos. Once you understand the basics you can play around with different herbs / vegetables etc. A classic chicken casserole becomes Chicken with chorizo and beans for example. Jamie Oliver is good too and has tons of books. If you don’t want to buy books you could go to the library to see what’s available… I still do that if I’m not sure whether a particular chef is going to be my thing or not.

PS. I know you didn’t ask for relationship advice but you have put yourself in a financially vulnerable position and older women like myself will look at that and be concerned for you.

@picklemewalnuts

We see a lot of people on here who are trapped in difficult situations. There are a couple of things you posted that can be sign posts for someone in a vulnerable position. Obviously it's none of our business, this is a cooking thread. Obviously they are indicators, not cast iron predictors- you could be the exception that proves the rule!

You are very young, lost your mum young, and working part time in a relationship where he works more hours and is happy to keep you in a dependent situation where you have household responsibilities and limited financial opportunities. Several things about suggest your situation is vulnerable, that you could be vulnerable.
But we're jaundiced having seen so many trapped desperate women in coercive controlling relationships, that started out rosy!

Just be a wee bit alert to the potential for problems!

I understand it could come across that way! But don't worry I earn enough and have enough saved to be financially independent (work part time but have a side business as well) so Id be okay on my own income if the worst happened! I see why you'd raise concern though

Based on another thread on here, I would also recommend you nominate at least one day a week as your partner's day to cook. It can be oven dinner, no problem, but he chooses and cooks it. The mind work of choosing food and cooking every day is underestimated by people who don't have to do it.

@UniversalTruth

Based on another thread on here, I would also recommend you nominate at least one day a week as your partner's day to cook. It can be oven dinner, no problem, but he chooses and cooks it. The mind work of choosing food and cooking every day is underestimated by people who don't have to do it.

Definitely, he does a good steak once a week or so

I couldn’t really cook until about 2 years ago when circumstances meant I needed to learn. I started with simple recipes. Think of a meal you like and Google “easy” versions of it until you find one you think you could do. I like 5-ingredient meals too because there isn’t much to get wrong. It has taken me a while to gain confidence but I feel so much better about it now.

I like cook books by Miguel Barclay because they don’t have many ingredients or steps to follow. 5 Ingredient Vegan by Katy Beskow is also a good one.

@Shabtipup good to hear, maybe make it twice a week

I saw an article in the guardian about starting to cook yesterday - it might inspire you

www.theguardian.com/food/2022/mar/02/cant-cook-wont-cook-here-are-the-tips-that-saved-me-from-a-life-of-terrible-meals

Gousto is a great idea. James May has written a cookbook called “Oh cook” aimed at novice adults which has had really good reviews. It has 60 recipes “any idiot can make” (his words not mine OP). Good luck!!

Have a look at some of the recipes on the supermarket websites. They tend to be fairly simple but also often contain ‘short cut’ ingredients, such as ready chopped veg or curry pastes for example. Ok not necessarily cooking completely from scratch, but can be helpful when starting out if recipes seem a little overwhelming. Once you are more confident you can then go back and look at the recipe again and replace the shortcut ingredient with your own.

Also, look at one pot or tray bake recipes. Often the hardest part of cooking is coordinating all the elements so that everything is ready at the same time. These recipes alleviate that problem.