Advice for how to change DC’s diet please.

[SnugKnights]

My two have ended up being very fussy, especially the youngest. Only foods both will eat now are chicken nuggets, fish fingers, chips, waffles & garlic bread.
So when I serve spaghetti bolognese the youngest will eat some grated cheese and garlic bread. The eldest might eat the pasta and sauce, or more often insist on just pasta with cheese and garlic bread. Chilli and pitta, they both just eat the pitta. Chicken breast with salad and potatoes, the eldest will eat the chicken the youngest won’t touch any of it.
I feel like I need to be strict and go through the pain of them complaining, but I can’t decide how best to do it. Do I let them have a yoghurt after not touching their tea for example? Or only fruit? The youngest will only eat fruit smoothy no actual chopped up fruit.
The dietician says make sure there’s always something on the plate they like, but that’s difficult and I feel like allows them to refuse to try stuff.
All opinions gratefully received.

No old are they @SnugKnights and can you tell us a bit more about the reasons for a Dietitian being involved?

They are 3 & 7. Youngest us had reflux since a few weeks old and had CMPI although grown out of that now. Reflux still an issue obviously made worse when eating fatty beige crap! Eldest very picky from being a toddler and has ASD so both seen dietician over the years for advice although both now discharged, as they eat something from each food group so considered ok.

I used to put a plate of cucumbers, carrots, fruit etc out on the table while they sat down with some Mayo for dipping in? They sort of ate them without thinking before their main food came out

I have CMPA abc the first thing I'd question is have they really grown out of it? I tolerated it for a while but since going completely DF I've felt much better.

They might also associate some foods with pain so would need some therapy for food aversion but personally I'd go DF first to build up their confidence with food.

The child with ASD I can sympathise. Our DD still doesn't have a great diet and it takes a lot of negotiation. Tonight we've cooked a meal that she's requested then abandoned after a couple of bits because it "didn't feel right in her mouth".

The MNers in the SN section might be able to give you some advice in getting DC with ASD to eat better. I've just gone for the route of teaching her to cook abs giving her a multivitamin

Thanks. I do give them carrot sticks after school/nursery. Eldest will eat them mindlessly because he’s hungry, youngest just says “I don’t like it” as she does about most foods. I eat chopped up fruit myself in front of them most days, and always offer them some, I say it’s to share for us all, they both always refuse.
I feel like I need to start being a lot tougher, not to cause an argument, but just to start providing healthy meals every day, and if they eat it great, if they don’t, they’ll be hungry. It makes me really nervous though as I don’t know if that’s too harsh a plan.

I feel like I need to start being a lot tougher, not to cause an argument, but just to start providing healthy meals every day, and if they eat it great, if they don’t, they’ll be hungry. It makes me really nervous though as I don’t know if that’s too harsh a plan. That's unlikely to work with a child who has ASD though and doesn't the other one have food aversion due to allergies?

Two of my DC have ASD and one was/is a fussy eater, she is 17 now.

So what we did was same as you, ensure there is something they will eat at each meal. We also made sure that there was always something new at each meal and would encourage them to try it. If they try it and don’t like it, we’d not make it again. With this method we were able to build a larger list of things they will eat from each food group. We also would make healthy side foods that they can just add to their plate to round out a meal nutritionally.

So in your example of the DC you know will be eating only plain pasta with cheese and garlic bread, we would make and offer him some petit pois peas (my DC like petit pois peas). For the chili and pitta example you gave where they only ate the pitta, I’d probably be making chili and pitta for myself and DH and making different food for the DCs as eating only a side is not a meal and an ASD child who has decided they do not like chili, isn’t going to change their mind. Keep in mind too, a lot of what they like/dislike is not just taste but texture so it’s not surprising that they both will not eat chili and bolognaise as both are essentially tomato sauce with lumps cooked in it.

With ASD you can’t really get to point where DC will eat one set meal. Or at least, we never could as a family of 6 with two ASD DC. We ended up modifying things so everyone had a nutritional full meal by cooking extra sides.

@PanicBuyingSprouts

I have CMPA abc the first thing I'd question is have they really grown out of it? I tolerated it for a while but since going completely DF I've felt much better.

They might also associate some foods with pain so would need some therapy for food aversion but personally I'd go DF first to build up their confidence with food.

The child with ASD I can sympathise. Our DD still doesn't have a great diet and it takes a lot of negotiation. Tonight we've cooked a meal that she's requested then abandoned after a couple of bits because it "didn't feel right in her mouth".

The MNers in the SN section might be able to give you some advice in getting DC with ASD to eat better. I've just gone for the route of teaching her to cook abs giving her a multivitamin

My Mum said today she thought she hadn’t grown out of it properly. It’s been medicated with Omeprazole and Domperidone and she was mostly fine for ages. Now she’s just on a tiny Omeprazole dose and no Domperidone, when I reduced the Omeprazole lately it got loads worse again at night times . So I guess we’ll have to try to go back to dairy free. I’ll try the SN board too, thanks.

For the ASD child your plan is too harsh. A softly softly approach works best. Slowly increase the range of food. They like nuggets and chips make your own nuggets and serve with frozen chips. Never been able to get my ASD child to like homemade chip and he is now a teen. I’ve tried though. The key include food they like as wel as a new food.

Plates of snacks - chopped up fruit, some chocolate, dried fruits, nuts, crisps include food they eat and food that are new. Don’t expect quick results

Today my DS ate raspberries for the first time there was a punnet on the table and he picked as it when he was chatting. Distraction is quite important.

Eating nuggets and chips and pizza is better than nothing at all. DS will eat nothing with chilli but will eat some foods with cumin and sweet paprika. I often do a spicy version of chilli for us and a non chilli version for him. Doing a version of food for DS is quite common and not too much trouble when you get used to it.

It is an unrealistic expectation and IMO cruel to try and get them to eat food by starving them. It will cause great distress which they won’t forget.

I guess my hesitation wasn’t just me being too soft then, I will have to be more accommodating, if that’s the night word. The youngest is getting worse and worse and I guess will have aversions after suffering pain after eating for years. I was worried about them just eating bread for tea for example, pitta/garlic bread. So getting no protein or veg.
I’d end up letting them have nuggets the next day because I was worried about them just eating carbs and dairy for example.
So the only fruit/veg the youngest will eat is fruit Smoothy and olives. So would you just serve them every day along side new fruit/veg?
The eldest has improved a bit since having school lunches. So will eat chicken that isn’t in breadcrumbs and will eat chicken kiev for example. The youngest won’t touch meat or fish anymore unless it’s nuggets or fish fingers. She picks the ham out of sandwiches lately, when she used to eat them happily.
I find myself getting anxious every day when I think about what I’m going to feed them. I obviously try very hard not to let them see that, and I never tell them off about food or say they have to each things. I just say I’d like them to try it, remind them it’s important to eat healthily and let them eat what they want and leave what they don’t want.

So the only fruit/veg the youngest will eat is fruit Smoothy and olives. So would you just serve them every day along side new fruit/veg?

Yes exactly that. Having something new is the only way to increase their diet. It’s slow but it works. Keep it no pressure. Can try or not try, but if do not try, it might reappear in a few weeks again to be tried. Idea is try when you’re ready, but you and we won’t know if you like it or don’t like it unless you try it (at some point). I never forced them to try because some days they just don’t feel adventurous.

You get a feel for the textures that put them off, so as your DC don’t seem to like chili, then trying baked beans might have a lower chance of success if it’s the texture putting them off, not the spice...you know? So I’d always ask them if they didn’t like something, what don’t you like? (Nicely of course).

Then some things they do like might inspire you. Mine at 11 tried a sour sweet her friend gave her, and that made me think, hmm maybe she will like pineapple as it has a bit of a bite to it. And eureka, she loved pineapple and now has it on every pizza....

Great thanks Plan. We’ve got the other problem today 2 of us have got norovirus so I’m trying to not feed him!