Further to my 'rant ahoy!' post in AIBU, Ormrian said she wanted to know how to make gingerbread.
Ladies, I give you my Irish Nanna's recipe that the window cleaner found so hard to resist...
Gingerbread Men/Things
4oz softened butter or marge (I use flora buttery) & some for greasing
4oz sugar (I use golden caster but ordinary granulated is fine)
9oz plain flour
1 tsp bicarb of soda
About 3 tsp ginger depending on your heat tolerance(beware if your ginger is brand new, it will have far more of a kick to it than stuff that's been hanging around the cupboard for a bit)
2 tbps golden syrup, warmed (I stick it in the microwave for 20-30 seconds)
This recipe is v. quick if you have a hand mixer, can take a while and be a bit strenous otherwise.
Preheat oven to 180C (I have a fan oven and set it to 170C)
Dot a bit of extra butter/marge around a baking tray or two and line with a piece of greaseproof paper/baking parchment. No need to grease the greaseproof (if batch-baking or you only have 1 baking tray, it can then be re-used several times without having to faff about regreasing/lining it/them).
Cream together the butter and sugar until lighter in colour and fluffy - about 2 mins with an electric mixer.
Sift in the flour, bicarb and ginger, then either rub it all in or (the easy way!) continue with the leccy mixer until it resembles damp sand.
Add sufficient golden syrup and mix by hand until it forms a clean ball of dough - knead for a bit to make sure everything is thoroughly mixed and then roll out on an icing sugared/cornfloured surface to about 5mm thick and cut into whatever shapes you desire. If you make them much thicker than 5mm they will spread out and lose their shape on the baking tray.
If you've no cutters, squish it into flattened balls about the circumference of your thumb & forefinger in an 'ok' sign (do it and you'll know what I mean) & about 1.5cm thick, then space well apart on the baking tray as they will spread out to the size of cookies while baking.
Makes about 12-15 biscuits depending on size/shape desired.
Bake for 10-12 mins depending on the heat of your oven and how crisp you like your gingerbread (mine is quite a hot one and I like gingerbread chewily soft so I do them for 8 mins)
Transfer from the tray to a wire rack to cool - they will harden off as they cool so bear that in mind when calculating how long you leave them in the oven.
If you want to be poncey and make Crimbo decoration type things (I got my cutters from Lakeland but any kitchen-junk shop will sell them at this time of year), before you stick them in the oven, wiggle a cocktail stick/thin skewer in the end you want to thread your ribbon through to make a hole. When you take them out the oven and put them on the cooling rack, re-pierce the holes while still hot if they've closed over.
Once cool, thread thin ribbon through the holes and tie together, then drizzle with water icing and chuck silver balls on randomly for an artlessly arty effect. I use all white but that's just because I'm too lazy to mess about with colouring!
Tie onto Crimbo tree or leave out to be devoured by cheeky b'stard of a window cleaner as necessary...