Have you managed to turn around your family’s diet?

[parrotonmyshoulder]

And how?
I KNOW what to do, I have read a lot of ideas. I know, for example, that providing a little bit of a new food at every meal, not forcing them to eat it, being a good role model, not seeming certain foods ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’, making sure there’s something they like at every meal, not keeping food I don’t want them to have in this house, are all the right things to do.

I just can’t make it work. I guess I haven’t tried hard enough or for long enough. I can’t stand, after a full day at work, to hear ‘what’s for tea?’ followed by whining when it’s not their favourite.

I sound pathetic. This is not how I wanted food to be in my house. DC are 12 and 9.

I think you/they just have to accept that not every meal will be their favourite.

I have 4 children ranging from very fussy to eating everything but even the good eater have things they won't eat (one won't eat dairy for example which is a pain!).
I meal plan and we look through some cook books together.
I don't make anything that I know they will absolutely hate.
Everyone gets to choose some favourite meals.
No one is going to love every single meal.

Then I write the week's menu on a board and I cook and provide the meals. Moaning isn't allowed. They eat or don't eat it and can help themselves to the fruit bowl or plain yoghurt if still hungry.

It sounds as if you have rather let things slip as your children are quite old now. Can you involve them in the meal planning and preparation? Being a parent often means standing firm I’m afraid.
When my children were 11 and 8 I announced that we were switching over to being a vegetarian household. Completely and overnight. They were allowed meat and fish when they went to visit friends but not in the house. Within a few months they had become dedicated vegetarians.
You need to consider how you got to this situation in the first place. As they are older children you probably need to discuss with them how you could all have a healthier diet and agree on treats or days when they can have their favourites. Can those meals not be made more healthy?

Thank you.
I have let it get very bad over time, due to lots of other issues beyond food.

What sort of things are they eating? My kids diet isn’t amazing but it provides a good variety of protein/carbs/fibre etc. There’s meat, veg, fruit, dairy but also cake, chocolate etc. No fizzy drinks ever. No sweets. I’m not going to beat myself up about oven meals.

I find it easier if we plan meals together and they understand that, like pp, that not all meals will be their favourite but hopefully they get there’s once in the week too.
If they already know what’s on the menu, they’re more likely to accept it.
We discuss vegetables and what vitamins they have and why it’s important to have a variety so they need to include them.
Mine prefer salad to cooked vegetables and that’s fine.
I hand them fruit for snacks. Chopped up if necessary.
If they’re still hungry, I offer crackers with cheese and veg sticks.

I try and make healthier snacks look fancier by presenting them nicely. Special forks, bowls or whatever.