Having other families over for meals..

[gingerperil]

Coronavirus has made me realise how stressful I find having friends and their families over for meals. Having to entertain others has not been something I have been missing. Part of it is having to tidy the house etc for guests and the other part is getting stressed re cooking (have two young kids so feel guilty that I am not playing with them etc ) whilist I cook/prep. It’s also that everyone is so fussy.. my DP is vegetarian (I am not) and my kids are pretty fussy too.. then there is my guests likes/ allergies/ vegan Ian to take into consideration. I normally end up making about three variations of the same meal if not two or three separate meals. I love food and love cooking and want to give guest lovely things to eat.. can anyone share any top tips on how you just enjoy entertaining friends/ family without getting seriously stressed and then resenting it?! What am I doing wrong? Or do you get stressed too? It is just something to accept or do you have great hacks?

I'd say try making something simple look a little fancy (scattering pea shoots etc on a big platter of something). Also some things can be cooked in stages so you can take a portion out before adding other ingredients in so you don't have to worry about tantrums but you don't have to cook multiple meals. I don't know anyone who doesn't like a big platter of really good pasta with a lovely sauce. Chuck a bag of fancy salad in a bowl. Really good wine helps too. A simple pudding made the day before or buy something in. Also always cook something you want to eat as you'll enjoy the process more.

I had this problem at one time.
I used to make 2 versions of the central dish; one with meat & a vegan version with perhaps tofu or beans/pulses.
Accompaniments were generally vegan, but some veg does need butter so the fussiest eaters dipped out.

Yes, simplify. I lean towards dishes that can be prepped in advance. I never plate meals so everyone just helps themselves. I tend to pick a cuisine that has various sides so lots of choice and almost always include some form of nice bread and a big salad with a base of bagged leaves. If people ask if they can bring anything I always say to bring dessert.

I only used to do casual things - always veggie, although sometimes with a meat thing alongside for those who might want it.

One 'big thing' and then salads, breads etc.

Lasagne, bread, green salad, tomato salad, coleslaw

Chilli, rice, nachos, guac, salsa

Quiche, garlic and rosemary potatoes, couple of salads

etc.

Pudding always something bought plus cream/ice cream, or a guest brings as below.

Lots to drink.

Those are excellent ideas. Thank you. Especially asking people to bring dessert/ buying it in. I think I put too much pressure on myself. Secretly am looking forward to when it’s just other adults to cater for. At least they tend not to spit your food out in disgust and don’t trash your house..

My parents used to have family found fit dinner quite often. My mum always cooked something extravagant, which was lovely but she spent all evening in the kitchen and no one actually got to see her. After pointing out repeatedly that people were there to see them rather than to eat amazing food (although of course that's a bonus) she finally simplified. Things that can be prepped in advance are definitely good.

I try to follow my own advice but I do get quite stressed when we have people round, even though it's mostly just my parents. I think because we don't do it very often so i feel like it needs to be more impressive? But ideally I try and do something easy enough but with more sides than we'd normally have for a standard tea eg we'd just have lasagne, but for guests I'll do a salad and garlic bread, or with fajitas I'll also do a beef option plus some Mexican rice, Refried beans and all the dips.

I would say as well if you have little ones don’t stress about their meal let them have a picky plate or do them something easy they like. If your guests judge that then they aren’t really kind. Then the pressure is off and if they want to try the main meal then great serve then little tasters to try makes it fun.
It makes it much easier and it should be about fun and company not the formal sitting and eating the adult food, of course that’s important to learn but they can join in but with their choice of food until they are older.
My lovely mum always used to do some sausages for my youngest with a roast lunch as she hates joint type meat.
She still sat and ate nicely and ate the veg And it made it more relaxed for me.

I normally do a roast dinner with everything on serving dishes so people can just take the things they like. One DC is veggie so I cook the potatoes and Yorkshires in corn oil and I always do a meat gravy and a veggie gravy. I also do some sort of veg/cheese dish like cauliflower cheese or a spinach gratin.

Vegans are harder to cater for. I normally do a chickpea bake because it's lovely but it seems a bit odd with roast potatoes and veg.