Basic meals to teach DS

[SpaceOP]

Was reminded by another thread that with DS about to turn 10, I've been telling him for YEARS that he then has to start learning to cook. My plan is to make him just "help" me twice a week to start and he can pick it up as he goes along but I feel strongly that a basic repertoire is needed by the time he leaves home. This is my basic list on the basis that if he does this he can feed himself/his family and can probably follow most other recipes:

Eggs - boiled and scrambled. Basic omelette (although as omelette is one of about only 3 things he won't eat currently, this might not happen!).
Roast a chicken
Minimum of two pasta sauces, at least one to be vegetarian
Mince sauce for bolognaise/cottage pie, lasagna etc.

Basic cheese sauce
How to boil, steam and roast vegetables.
Salad - a basic side/green salad as well as least one alternative option
Steak - everyone needs to know how to make a quick, impressive meal for date night
Curry - at least one meat and one vegetarian option
Preparation of regular carbs - rice, pasta, noodles, potatoes
Fish - one fried fish and one baked fish option

Anything obvious and basic in terms of skills that I'm missing here? Realistically, in the beginning he's going to be helping me to stuff jacket potatoes or whatever, but I need to have a goal!

Stir fries.... add anything.

Risottos

Stew or casserole
Basic sponge cake
Proper gravy or pan sauce
What basic cooking terms mean
Using scales, thermometers
Basic food hygiene and checking produce

The only other basic skill is cooking rice, but I'd argue that the biggest thing to learn is to follow a recipe and interpret the instructions correctly. If you can do that, the worlds your oyster, so its good to just pick something and give it a go. My 14 year old likes to make japanese food from internet recipes, and its a good exercise in working out exactly what they mean by 'comes together' or 'dropping consistency' for example

The basics like pasta and rice including quantities - sound obvious, instructions on the packet but my former lodger dumped a whole 500g pack of pasta into cold water when she first arrived, I had to show her how to cook it along with rice, potatoes etc. Turning chopped tomatoes into dishes is the best skill in the proper cooking front, saves a fortune for students. Making curries etc for a bit older is excellent. I would suggest though how to follow recipes for now, start with baking as it will engage more and helps with maths etc. I recommend Sam stern's cooking up a storm for a present in a year or two

Your list looks good, I'd add his own favourite meals to that, he'll be much more motivated to cook if it's something he particularly likes and if it means he gets his favourite dinner more often! Kids often love the old el paso mexican meal kits (or I think you can get own brand versions of the same) - they have super easy to follow instructions on the back and if you buy pre-chopped veg there's actually very little prep involved and only easy/basic cooking ie frying off meat and veg in a pan, so perfect for a beginner cook. I know if you are a keen cook yourself it's a bit annoying to buy the kit when you could make your own spice mix, salsa etc for less money, but there's something very attractive and easy about the fact that everything you need comes all ready for you in a box. You could even try hello fresh or gousto or another meal service which is a similar concept, you choose the meals you want and everything you need to make it comes nicely portioned and ready to cook with instructions alongside? Once he has the concepts down and is more confident and knows what recipes he likes to cook then you can transition to just buying the ingredients as normal?

Once mine were teenagers I delegated them to cook one family meal a week each. It could be anything with reason (a few parameters were set, such as it had to either be wholly veggie or have a veggie option to account for vegetarian family members, it had to include at least one vegetable even if just a bag of pre-prepared salad on the side). Controversially though I did let them use things like jarred sauces, meal kits or fresh filled pasta - full 'ready meals' were not allowed nor were frozen pizzas etc mainly on the grounds of cost, but they were allowed to ask for ready made pizza bases, sauce and grated cheese so the meal prep could be very quick and easy if they wanted. They had to let me know by sunday afternoon every week what ingredients they needed (when I did the food order), if they forgot then it was up to them to root through the cupboards or freezer to try and cobble an acceptable meal together, or to go to the local shops to get missing ingredients, and cruel mum that I was I made them pay themselves from their pocket money/Saturday job money (only if they'd forgotten, obviously I paid for the main shop), I like to think this taught them something about budgetting and meal planning as well as cooking skills.

Mixed results, one child got very into cooking and is probably better than me now, one was always very lazy and took the easiest possible option and still does as far as I know, the third one is somewhere in the middle and can cook well if he tries but doesn't always try very hard , but they can all feed themselves and their families a reasonably healthy meal without needing help from mum or their partner so my work here is done I think . Your boy is probably a bit young still but can you work up to this as a goal - perhaps promise him a bit of extra pocket money in exchange for cooking one meal a week?

This book is great,
www.amazon.co.uk/Cooking-Step-Delicious-Recipes-Activities/dp/0241300371/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&crid=K5WOVH2Z5HT3&keywords=dk+childrens+cookbook&sprefix=dk+%2Caps%2C190&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1611571325&sr=8-3

The recipes are easy to adapt so once they've cooked it, it's easy to show them how to amend ingredients
My DC are choosing a recipe a week to cook from it during lockdown and we haven't had a fail yet....

Kids often love the old el paso mexican meal kits (or I think you can get own brand versions of the same) - they have super easy to follow instructions on the back and if you buy pre-chopped veg there's actually very little prep involved and only easy/basic cooking ie frying off meat and veg in a pan, so perfect for a beginner cook.

We don't use a lot of ready made food but one thing we do use is things like fajita kits or curry paste rather than making it all up ourselves. He does love fajitas so it's probably good to include anyway, plus it teaches frying of vegetables which isn't actually on my list in terms of skills.

I was focused on enough to cover basic nutrition and skills but good point from a few people that a bit of basic baking/weighing/measuring etc is also a good skill and helps to ensure can follow recipes.

@maxelly And yes, my plan is that they have to cook once a week once they're teenagers. I might make DH get in on this too as he claims his new year resolution is to learn how to cook more....! [my DH and brothers all got to adulthood with limited cooking skills and I'm determined this won't happen to my DS]

@Funkypickle Gravy, absolutely. Good basic skill that should be learned. Will add.

I agree with PPs that practice following recipes is the most important thing. Why not let him pick some from bbcgoodfood - he can search by ingredient to find something he likes.

I think having a strict list would really take the fun out of cooking.

I would suggest at 10 a child should be able to make himself breakfast and a simple lunch and get him to help you cook family dinners or his favourites.

My eldest loves going to our local cafe where they make quesadillas and toasted sandwiches so he has learnt to make both.

He also make eggs as he loves them and súper noodles.

I would suggest one of the most important skills is knowing how to read and follow recipes and basic prep skills for chopping etc

We bought some hello fresh meals which had a big introductory offer and they are great and my 14 yr old could follow the recipe and make a dinner.

Now he sorts himself out during the day in lockdown which is great.

Also as importantly he knows how to do laundry and clean his toilet and hoover! I do laundry at the weekend, anything he forgets or if he wants a particular item he can sort out himself. This weekend I also asked him to wash his bedding and he did it without any problems

I get where you're coming from but I think at first you need to start with basics:

Food hygiene and kitchen good habits, eg good storage practice and how to keep on top of using things up and minimising food waste

Nutrients and healthy diet

Measuring and weighing

Choosing and prepping ingredients - how to tell if something is fresh or off, washing, peeling and chopping

And then gradually move on to full recipes

To your list I'd add bread and home made pizza

Agree with most pps posts too.

We let ours (9&7) chose a recipe to help cook. We are using this to create a family cookbook, with the view of replicating in a few years so they have a copy each to leave home with.

As part of the preparation, they help make the shopping list as well, including checking how much of 'store cupboard' items we have. At some point, we will put budgeting in there too.

Your list looks fine except the omelette, if he doesn't like it. But tbh I'd be asking him what *he'd' like to cook. My 12yo has recently decided of his own volition that he'd like to cook once a week. But I can guarantee that if it had been my idea, or if I'd given him a list of things I thought he ought to learn to cook, he wouldn't want to do it!

I've been telling him for YEARS that he then has to start learning to cook

He's 10. How many years is YEARS?

"Fuck buying Ella's Kitchen! You will MAKE Ella's Kitchen from scratch and serve it to ALL of your nursery mates and teddy bears!"

Teach him what he likes to eat. Maybe he could make the list instead. A steak, for example, would be lost on DD (she's 10 and hates meat- always has done and is pretty much veggie) but cheese and tomato toasties, how to make a damn good salad, omelette, and baking muffins are all things she's into. DD and my older DS did the leading when they wanted to learn to cook. They told me what they wanted to learn. I'd start there.

So much good advice on here. I had always helped out a bit in the kitchen but learned to properly cook from the first chapter of Nigella's How to Eat, which is worth a look (I have it on Kindle, I use it so frequently).

I've just started delegating Saturday night dinners to my 9 year old - he has to choose a recipe every Monday to go on the meal plan. He can choose anything he likes, and can look through any cookbook or on a few websites like BBC Good Food or Smitten Kitchen. Then he has to follow the recipe on his own as much as he can and I only step in to eg. drain a big pot of pasta which is too big for him to lift. So far we've had spag bol and swedish meatballs with mash and peas.

I've been getting both kids to make salad dressings since they were about 7 as well. Seems to make it easier to convince them to eat it if they know what's in it.

I think having a strict list would really take the fun out of cooking.

To be fair, he knows nothing of the list. It's my own personal objective. And I have no intention of trying to get him to learn these meals on day 1. This is by the time he's 18 and leaves home! .

In the beginning, ,he'll just be with me and I'll explain things as they come up - eg if we're using the stove top, I'll explain why I'm cooking at a low/medium/high heat or the type of pan I'm using or how and what to weight etc And fully expect to have to make those explanations multiple times. The list is mostly so I can be sure he's getting the variety longer term. As a teenager, I'm definitely of the school of thought that if he's cooking for the family, he can choose what to make. Also, currently, with the exception of the omelette - everything on my list he likes.

He's 10. How many years is YEARS? grin
"Fuck buying Ella's Kitchen! You will MAKE Ella's Kitchen from scratch and serve it to ALL of your nursery mates and teddy bears!"

To be honest, this isn't that far off.... . I am married to a man who does his fair share etc, but was never taught to cook and has no interest in cooking. Ditto, neither of my brothers was made to cook and while one has actually made an effort after getting married and having children, the other one is a complete prat who will happily let his wife do it all. what's particularly odd about all this is that both my parents cooked when I was growing up so it's not even like it was girls only. Although I was taught by my mum, not my dad. So it's entirely possible I've been muttering to DS about this pretty much since he started solids...!

I think your list is very comprehensive. I think it’s really helpful to demonstrate how the skills are transferable. So if you start simple, say sausage and mash with veg. You could then teach a different use for mash, fishcakes for example, then a cottage pie. From cottage pie you’ve started on mice based dishes so you can move on to bolognaise, lasagne. Lasagne uses a white sauce so then move on to macaroni cheese, fish pie etc and so on.

AtLeast this weekend DS9 has chosen to make lasagne having made bolognese two weeks ago, I will tell him to make it with mice - as a devotee of horrible histories and all things disgusting he might like it more though

It's a pretty comprehensive list, especially with the additions suggested up thread. It would absolutely keep it in mind as 'all the things you want to cover '

It might be helpful to add how to clear up as you go along. Even that is better demonstrated than as an actual rule.

Know all the things I wanted to cover, I would start 'project cook' to transfer the skills, by asking him to pick some things he would like to eat. Most people I know start with making jam tarts from pastry off cuts possibly much earlier than ten

The opportunity to cook something he wants to eat is IMO a much more powerful incentive than 'once you are ten you have to learn to cook' which would have put me off the whole thing.

As a child it was my job to set the table. Being shown how to prepare the vegetables felt like a promotion.

Narrating what you are doing, letting him try what you are doing and as soon as C possible contribute to the meal in a way that can be appreciated is more likely to be a fun and rewarding experience.

Nigel Slater's books and recipes are great for showing variations which can be made once a basic skill has been learned.

As a child it was my job to set the table. Being shown how to prepare the vegetables felt like a promotion.

Ooh, good point. He has to set the table now and regularly sees it as the world's biggest chore!

will definitely ensure that on the days he's "helping" we're cooking things he loves to eat and offer him the choice to choose what we're cooking as well. Good tip. He was pretty pleased to be shown how to make beans on toast the other day and had it for breakfast again the next day!

@Xiaoxiong

AtLeast this weekend DS9 has chosen to make lasagne having made bolognese two weeks ago, I will tell him to make it with mice - as a devotee of horrible histories and all things disgusting he might like it more though

Nothing like a mouse lasagne! And using my suggestion to cook meals in succession to practice skills used before, may I recommend a hamster and mushroom pie for next week! 😉