Nursery packed lunch policy giving my son grief

[ScummyMummy]

Can anyone give me any thoughts on this? My sons started a full day at nursery at the beginning of this month and take in a packed lunch. The nursery has a policy that the children must eat their savoury food before they can go on to any sweeter stuff included. I don't have a problem with this per se but they seem to be taking it a bit far with one of my sons. He came back today with an almost full lunch box having been denied access to his yogert, banana, cheese, bread sticks and dried fruit because he wouldn't eat his chicken drumstick. This is not the first time this has happened. It's not like I'm including particularly unhealthy stuff and I'm really not very happy with the idea that he hasn't had anything approaching a proper meal all day. Has anyone else come across this sort of a policy? To be fair to the nursery, who are generally absolutely fantastic, I'm sure my son isn't particularly easy at lunchtime. He can be a bit fussy and faddy and very stubborn if he is told to eat something that he has decided is horrid. I want to query this with the nursery but am not sure whether I'm overreacting or how to approach it given that they obviously can't change their whole policy just for my son. Any advice welcome!

I'd be interested to know what mumsnetters think of Plaid Cymru's pledge to ban all sweets, crisps and 'unhealthy' food not only from being sold in schools but being taken onto school premesis.

Sorry to butt in BTW, Scummymummy. Do think your nursrey's policy is total tosh.

Don't worry floops. I know exactly what you mean about being worried about jeopordising good home-nursery relationships but I was pretty concerned about this and my partner and I approached the nursery the day after. I've been meaning to update you all, actually.

I'm happy to report that the situation is sorted and the nursery couldn't have been more helpful. Also turned out that my son had done more than a little embellishing of the facts... scoundrel, but I forgive him as I think it's very possible he was feeling a bit off colour that day and I think I was a leading questioner.

Turned out the nursery were as worried as we were about his lack of food intake. Though they do have a loose policy of encouraging children to eat their "main course" before the "pudding"- I knew of this and therefore jumped to conclusions when I saw a full lunchbox returned- they did not deny him the rest of his dinner- in fact they were desperately trying to coax him to eat SOMETHING, anything on that particular occasion. I hadn't had a chance to talk to his keyworker that afternoon so was not informed of this, though she usually makes a point of talking me through his day including what he had for lunch. She also mentioned that he'd been rather tearful at points throughout the day and that they were keeping a close eye on him because they were worried that he might be coming down with something.

So basically I misjudged this one somewhat, I'm glad to say. I've always thought of the nursery as an absolute blessing- somewhere that I can be really confident that my boys are happy and getting the best of care and so was rather surprised and disappointed to find this sort of attitude from them. But I'm happy again now

Btw, nice to see you Lizzer, me ducks. How's life with you?

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Ionesmum-I vote Plaid for assembly/local things but I have to say that this seems a little impossible to police. That said dd's school has a policy that kids don't bring in crisps or kit-kat type things for break or lunch during Lent and that seems to work. I'm a bit militant about kids being "made" to eat food, my mamma saved me from spending all my lunchtimes in Infant school sat in the dining hall until I'd eaten everything (accompanied by lectures about the poor children in Ethiopia) and if necessary I'll do the same for my little monsters.

Bet you're glad to have your faith in the nursery restored again Scummymummy. I'm fine thanks for asking, have been away for ages for a number of reasons, mainly cos I had a car crash (but don't panic me and dd were fine - will go into it on another thread soon though) and also my brother's at home at the moment and is hogging the PC so can't get on it - argh!!! Need to get a job too, boo hiss!

My little sis's primary school has a policy where they can't bring anything chocolately in due to the fact that a child in the school has a bad peanut allergy. It is a precautionary action - but I bet that even when that child leaves the school they'll leave it as policy...

I'm not sure I agree or not with Plaid, I think that just to highlight the issues of healthy eating should be enough for most parents. But there are a faction out there who really don't have a clue about nutrition for themselves or their children. I remember a woman I know telling me, when my dd was 9 months old, to try feeding her cut-up tinned hot-dogs with instant gravy on top as her son used to love it at that age!!! Perhaps it is these people who could do with a bit of guidance by the schools and providing a few clear rules on junk might get them thinking a bit... However us folks who provide a balanced diet for our children but who don't mind a bit of a 'treat' for them feel like they are being dictated too....

I remember being forced to eat a second helping of dessert at infant school, although I didn't want it. I had gone for seconds, eyes bigger than belly and all that. I must have only been 6yrs old, yet I can still picture that old dinner lady standing behind my chair glaring at me and that square of purple blancmange wobbling in front of me...can't stand the stuff now, must be traumatised!!

Ionesmum - I agree with these healthy eating policies. My sons have always eaten healthily, and rarely have sweets, chocolate, or crisps. And so far have not been influenced by peer pressure, because they've largely been at home with me. But if all their friends have sweets at breaktime, it's hard to say no. Their new school has a fruit only policy at playtime - which is great.

My daughter's school has just had a vote about bringing sweets into school to share. The majority said 'no' so they have been banned. I voted for 'no' except for birthdays. Suspect my comments weren't noted and I was just recorded as a 'no'

Have to say, although I know this is a good idea, in theory, and I do realise that some kids have allergies so it may be dangersous, however I am a little at a loss as to what to bring in instead. One child had already brought in small boxes of raisins but can imagine the kids getting a bit fed up if these after 20 odd boxes of them throughout the year. Any ideas on anything else - must be cheap?

I do think it's good for kids to bring something in, encourage giving back and all that.

I like the idea that sweets and chocolate aren't allowed at school. I do think it encourages healthy eating and if children are hungry they then have to eat something that's good for them instead of junk. I'm not against the odd packet of sweets or crisps (although I don't have these at home I will sometimes buy them for ds when we're out) but I wouldn't want to make it a daily habit I don't think. Tinker, I send raisins too and sometimes dried apricots (I know, high sugar but at least some nutitional value), yoghurts, bananas, apples, strawberries, grapes, mango. Having said all that I did send a v. small french fancy iced cake once last week when we had some left over from a tea party. So I suppose if policy was against it I couldn't have done that. If I hadn't he'd have demanded it for breakfast though as it's such a rarity to have sweet things in our house...and I'd have let him, not much time to argue in the mornings

www - on re-reading my post I don't think I've made myself clear!! Oops. I do just mean for when it's her birthday - which is not for 6 months, I'm just like to worry in advance. She doesn't have sweets things at school normally, it's just practice in her school (or was) that kids brought in lollipops, swizzles etc to give out when they had a birthday. Hence the variations on raisins dilemma!

Cor Tinker, are they not even allowed a cake on their birthday? Think that is mean and over the top... oo err, I'm sending mixed messages on this one hey?! Will think about it...

Scummymummy - glad everthing's sorted.

I'm all in favour of a ban on unhealthy food being sold in school, but I can imagine a lot of empty lunchboxes if crisps and chocolate aren't allowed. And some 'healthy' foods e.g. certain cereal bars are worse than chocolate, not to mention the rubbish in fruit squash. And didn't Dairylea get a rocket recently? My school made a fortune from the tuck shop so if schools still do this then that will go down badly too. Our p.e. teacher even sold chocolate for Christian Aid after lessons!

So glad you sorted everything out scummy mummy - I too find the nursery a godsend as both of mine love it there and up to now have been so happy with it. Communication I suppose is the key.

Tinker - what about homemade flapjacks, or satsumas or similar or a babybel cheese - justa few ideas.
I agree with the idea of nothing unhealthy in lunch boxes, I wish my school would start this - my two do take a variety of things in their lunch boxes (mainly healthy) but are always saying that other kids take chocolate or the dreaded sunny delight etc. so why can't they. I take my friend's two kids into school each day and they would die of starvation if this policy was brought into effect at our school - their lunch boxes are full of crap, i.e. cream crackers with jam or marmite, packet of crisps, various chocolate bars, sausage rolls, cakes and the drink is usually a small bottle of lemonade. How can a child survive eating nothing but this rubbish??

I took chocolate muffins in for my son's birthday (freshly homemade that morning as it happens ). It's practice in his nursery for the birthday child to bring a cake to share & have happy birthday sung to them.

Good ideas SoupDragon and Jaybee. One boy brought in bubble blowing things but that's getting quite pricey, I think, for a class of 30. Hope that's not going to set a precedent.

My son's nursery did have the same policy,but I just told them that as I was paying them, they would respect my wishes. They should obviously try to get him to eat his main, but I was more concerned with him eating.

God,serves me right for readingthe first few messages and then jumping in with both feet. I unfortunately gave into peer pressure, before my son only ever ate home cooked foods, now it seems to be pasta shapes, and chicken nuggets (aarrgh I know I saw the programme, I even used to make my own) all the time. I keep saying this as from Monday only home cooked foods, but when my little darling keeps saying No, what do I do?

Deegward, how old is he? Because my DS1 went through a phase of this at about 14 months. he's now 3 and eats really healthily again.

Droile, he is 2 1/2, and knows his own mind. SOme days can be great, but others, bring on the nuggets!

I keep telling myself that it will get better, I only ate Heinz Tomato soup and Macaroni Cheese for years. (i'm sure I ate other things as well!)
So maybe God is just getting his own back!

I just don't buy them any more. I know it's not easy, but if they aren't in the house ......(I don't mean to be flippant, honest! I've just posted on another thread saying I can't get him to bed and here I am saying I'm firm about nuggets. I suppose anything you feel really strongly about will be a battle won and I won't buy that muck (not that I don't feel strongly about bedtimes, just can't seem to manage them!). If we are out or at other peoples houses and he fancies some nuggets, then I don't kick up a fuss, but I wouldn't ever buy another. I make my own sometimes, but everyone says they taste like cardboard. (ooh, my first smiley face worked! I'll be doing them all the time now ...)

There's a tasty recipe for chicken strips/nuggets in Sara Lewis' book Feeding Your Toddler. Add some grated cheese to some breadcrumbs and use to coat strips or chunks of chicken, then grill. Dd loves this.

I have a good nuggets recipe; use breadcrumbs made of cornflakes, and ensure lots of butter when cooking in oven. Really delish. I know I shouldn't buy them, and today he ate some lentil soup, but me getting him to dip the bread in it so maybe all is not lost.

My little one is good at bedtime, I can win that battle, what do they say about picking the battle you know you are going to win. If it is any help, I found the controlled crying worked. (if not for the little one then for me!)