Another picky eater!!

[persil]

Help!

I know that similar things have been covered before but I have a fussy eater (DS - 2yrs) who will only really eat pasta as a main meal with either pesto or pureed minced beef with hidden vegies. Lunch is toast or rice cakes.

Have kept a food diary and visited a nutritionist who agrees his diet is healthy enough but too narrow. On her recommendation have been introducing new foods and not giving anything else if refused but offering the same meal at teatime. We are 10 days into this and no new foods have been tried and probably 6 days he has only had breakfast.

Is it worth the trauma - has anyone genuinely succeeded with this route.

Also if children just grow out of it how does that happen as my son will currently not even try something new if it doesn't look sweet!!

Don't worry - have surrendered to ds1 and reverted to usual eating habits..........

Sorry to hear that! I was just going to ask how it went - my 2 year old is a dreadful eater and seems to be getting worse. I chucked out just about a whole plate of food today after nearly an hour of him not eating it - surely he must be more hungry than that?!

Hi persil, even though you have 'surrendered' just thought I would tell u about my 4yr old dd, up until she was around 3, she would eat no meat, fish or chicken and like your ds was not willing to try anything at all. But as her language improved and we communicated better I was able to persuade her to try and set a rule that she had to try things and then she could make a choice about what she would east. Now she eats chicken and fish and in the last few weeks, now she has lunch at school, she is eating roast meat and sausage and cous cous and more.. My 2yr ds is even worse than her and is small for his age, keeps going below the 2nd centile but I am trying not to worry, hope he will change as she did.

A good thing to try is get ds to eat with friends, sometimes they are more willing to try at other peoples houses and with their friends.

Thanks for your support, my ds is on the 90th centile for both weight and height so they have not been a worry just the restictiveness of his diet.

Decided it was just not worth the battle with ds1 one teething and ds2 telling me to "throw it in the bin" (obviously repeating what I normally say) after the second offering of the wrong shaped pasta.

He does not respond to peer pressure and eats even less at nursery or at a friends so will just hope he also grows out of it as he matures....

persil, just wanted to say that you are not alone. My dd is also a fussy eater, i am trying the whole introducing new stuff etc like you have. It is hard work. Sometimes she eats everything, other times nothing.

AGH!! I know what this is like only too well. We're going through a particularly bad phase at the moment in which dd is even rejecting some of the few things she will usually eat. Your ds, if he's on the 90th centile must be managing a good quantity of food, persil. My dd floats around the 9th - 25th. She never eats breakfast so I'd think she'd be ravenous by lunchtime (I give no in between snacks or milk to encourage her to eat her meals properly) but then at lunchtime she'll eat a bit of broccoli, some baby corn, maybe a bit of bean burger and that's it. Teatime it's been pasta in cheese and tomato sauce for around 6 months now. I've done everything by the book, dp and I eat with her and always encourage her to try something we're having. I've tried giving her nothing except what I want her to have and she just didn't bother to eat anything for days like your ds.

I've tried hard on and off to not get stressed about it and usually manage because even though she eats like a bird she eats good stuff. But this last few days has had me at the end of my tether, I don't know whether to scream or cry at mealtimes. And have even resorted to following her round the room with a banana trying to coax her to have little nibbles.

AGH!!!!!!!!

hi prefer not, seems eve and eva are telepathically arranging to wind us up with thier eating!!!how is she now?

persil there is no way I could get away with hiding veggies in a pasta sauce - ds1 (3 yrs) only eats plain pasta! He has a very restricted diet, I try to be relaxed about it but he eats very little fruit and veg. Since he went back to preschool this term, however, he has ASKED for some new things like cucumber, raisins, etc and has also had corn on the cob. So the peer pressure thing does seem to work (they have a snack at preschool). My son was reluctant to try new things until the last few weeks but at least I can often persuade him now to have a taste - generally won't eat it though.

Not wanting to worry you, but I was a fussy eater as a child and finally grew out of it when I left home at 18! Maybe it was my mother's cooking....Have you tried him with things you would not like yourself - My mother used to cook very plain food (meat & 2 veg sort of thing, well it was the 60s and 70s, pasta only came in a tin, etc) but I prefer spicy food or things with herbs, garlic, etc. Still would rather starve than eat bacon and cabbage...

Hi again persil - just wanted to reassure you again. I got very upset one evening in particular when we'd been at my parents and DS1 had only eaten a bread roll.... I looked in my Toddler Taming book and it gave a 10 point plan to encourage good eating. DH and I realised that we were doing all the right things so I try not to worry - not always successfully but mine is around 90th centile too so must be eating something I guess (although would drink milk for England if I let him)
Hang in there - perhaps we should start a support thread for parents of poor eaters!

Ds2 was a dreadful eater. If it was too hot, cold, wet, crunchy or oily he wouldn't eat it. The only veg he would eat were carrots and peas (which had to be dried on kitchen roll before going onto his plate). Most of his meals were sandwiches. Eventually I decided it wasn't worth the bother of encouraging him to eat a wider diet, because i couldn't find a way to handle his eating habits without me getting really cross with him I felt really guilty about this, because i thought i was failing him - i couldn't get him to eat and i was telling him off.
What i wish i'd known then is that some kids take forever to like new foods. If it ain't broke don't fix it, i say. He'll try new foods in his own time. If someone had said to me back then that in 6 years time my little boy would be asking for cucumber and tomatoes in his packed lunch, I would have laughed in their face. If he's getting what he needs out of his current diet, he's ok.

Ds now 4 was a brilliant eater as a baby but at about 15 months it all went out the window. He wouldn't try anything new just ate mamalade sandwiches chips and nuggets. No fruit, no veg no matter how hard I tried he just didn't. His weight has always been fine and now he is at school I wondered what all the fuss was about. He has no choice but to eat school dinners as packed lunch would be the easy way out for him. He is now eating school dinners and is even trying veg, salad and fruit at home. He may not eat large quantities but at least he is eating something good now. When he was 2 he only ate crackers or bread at lunch but I always increased his evening meal, but most of the time they usually grow out of it. Tend to agree with Duster totally. It is only few people who carry fussy eating on through to adulthood. I worry more about when he is a teenager and I cannot control what he eats!

My dd1 was the world's worst eater, I couldn't believe she could survive on the few nibbles she ate. She's now 3.5 and eats so much that I regularly deworm her, as I can't believe it's the same child! It is def an age-related thing, although I know all about the anguish you go through as a mum " it's my fault, I'm a bad mum....etc" My dd2 is now going through the same thing. I find it hard not to resort to giving her rubbish, as I keep thinking some food, however bad, must be better for her than nothing!

dear persil.....please stop ....a 2year old is still figuring out things.. time is on your side. pasta is a great thing .try whole wheat.with pesto and minced meat how great is hat!!! awesome!!!, try other pureed veggies.as well..with the pasta.have you tried fruit smoothies? fresh fruits blended with whole juices,or dairy products. are you giving a daily vitamin? a must..
believe me your doing great. let it be..your child is doing fine. (don't force them)
the trauma is not worth it. to you or your child who must be hungry and confussed,,smile..have great day

My ds is a very picky eater and furthermore eats weird stuff for a two year old. His favourite foods are avocado pears, black olives, smoked salmon, garlic sausage, broccoli (!!!), radishes, sugar snap peas, couscous, plain pasta (no sauce) and raisins.
And while this is not unhealthy (although he also has a penchant for soy sauce on everything which I try to curb) it is a bit odd.
However, it used to be much worse. At one point I think we were down to fried mushrooms and couscous for breakfast, dinner, lunch and tea. And of course he loves crisps, chips, chocolate and cake.
My only helpful suggestions - and they may not be that helpful - are that as they get older you can involve them more in the selection process. We take ds round the supermarket and ask him what he fancies - and get him to taste things along the way (I don't care what other people think about children eating their way round Tesco's).
We also play a game called 'taste test' - where I put things on a little teaspoon and give them to him and he has to guess what they were. You need a receptive toddler - and I fear this is where the taste for soy sauce started. But you could do it with baked beans, or rice, or couscous, or chicken, or whatever.
We also go out to child friendly restaurants and cafes - Pizza Express is good and doesn't serve chips which is a big point in its favour - with his playmates as often as possible in an effort to engender some peer group pressure, with variable results.
Good luck - please let me know if anything ends up working for you as we need help too!

My dd (3) ate very little (still does) and her brother (1) is going the same way. I worried endlessly about dd and we both had a terrible time around food, but with ds I have calmed down a lot. I just make a meal, using whatever I and dp fancy eating, and if they don't like it, tough. I now say to the oldest that if she doesn't want it, then that's fine, she can't be hungry - but don't give her pudding unless she's given the meal a real good try. With ds, although I can't bribe with pud yet, I don't get worked up if he doesn't eat. And sometimes this goes on for a few days, quite tough to hold your nerve for so long, but eventually his / her appitite comes back. They seem to eat for a few days and then go a few without much. My Dad was a doctor and he used to say that no child would ever starve itself, so I keep this in mind.
I heard the other day that you have to show a baby / toddler new food about 6 times before they will eat it, but with a five year old it is more like 20 times. My instinct is that if you expose a child to the many different foods that you yourself eat (without the salt of course)from an early age, eventually they will get used to it. Both my kids have had the 'family meal' from about 8 months, just mashed up and made sloppier with water or milk if the bits are too big, and although neither of them eat vast quantities, they will eat a wide variety.

my ds age 4 and a half has been a problem eater for 2 years....but on Friday I learnt from his teacher that he eats all his dinner at lunchtimer, he gets a cooked meal where he is. I was stunned. Turns out last Friday he ate cucumber and lettuce. I nearly fell off my chair as he has never ever eaten it at home. The teachers approach is that they have to have a little of everything and can only have seconds if they do actually try a tiny bit of everything. It obviously works. She had a chat with ds and low and behold, Friday evening, he ate beef stew, a lump of mash and one baby carrot. Believe me this was a big fantasy of mine. At the weekend we went to a party and he ate all the party food on his plate (rather than just the crips and chocolate). Perhaps it was a 2 year phase...or he has been playing me for a complete idiot for the past 2 years. Either way the message is there is hope. I find often the best way to get them to eat fruit is to pretend its not for them....or give them bits when they are in the bath and make it sound like a treat. I have a 2 year old dd and was a brilliant eater...until now. She has been taking notes from her expert brother and is now taking the reins of the household fussy eater. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrggghhhh.

I am glad to hear that there are as many determined children out there as mine as when you are in the middle of it you think your child is the only one!!

As I said I have reverted to giving ds1 what he will eat since last Wednesday and he has returned to his usual more pleasant (but still a two year old!) self since his mother stopped starving him

Will still continue to add new things and even give him the odd completely new meal in the hope that ds2 does not go down the same route.....

Will keep you posted on progress

my daughter who is going to be 6 now has had similar problems.from the age of 2-4 she would only have toast for b/f and boiled rice for lunch and for dinner i would trick her by mixing veggies and meat mixed in buttered rice.then i went to the nutritionist who advises me on how to introduce her to new food everytime on the dinner table and then giving her some reward like appreciation or a sticker(i gave her some toys aswell,stocked up cheap toys £1 each)so she would eat.now thanks to God she eats almost anything ,but if there is something different i try to feed her myself and she eats it.but i still have a problem when it comes to giving her fruit.she loves bananas and can eat apples but does not want to try any new fruit abd her teacher keeps on complaining that she creates lots of fuss during fruit time which includes crying aswell.i can still do with some help or trick to make her eat everything without any fuss or being scared.