Let's Talk Dinner Parties.................

[Earlybird]

Am wondering about the 'formula' to a successful/enjoyable dinner party - from the perspective of both host and guests.

What is the most enjoyable dinner party you've been to, and why?
What is the best one you've given and why?

Any lessons learned from disastrous dinner parties you've given or attended?

If I'm honest, I've never given a solo dinner party because I've always lived in spaces not much bigger than a shoebox. Now that I've got a reasonable kitchen and room to comfortably accomodate a group of people, I'm contemplating how to go about it so that guests enjoy themselves and so that I don't collapse in a heap of nerves!

Hoping to hear lots of good advice that will spur me into action!

Oh good thread!

I suppose the best dinner parties I've been to have been fairly small (ie 6 or 8 people), and with people who I either know really well or not at all.

Sorry that sounds like an oxymoron, but if you know everyone well then you can really relax, gossip about stuff everyone knows about, take the piss out of the hosts if the pudding burns etc.

If you don't know anyone you're a bit more on edge, but you can often have really interesting conversations. It's a bit more of a cerebral experience.

Dinner Parties where everyone knows everyone except for one outsider couple can be uncomfortable.

Food:
well I love comfort food, so stews, curries roasts etc and proper puddings with custard always make me very happy.
Fiddling fart-arsing about with artichokes, seafood in shells, making your own tortillas, fondue. No thanks.

I like the hostess to be with her guests not in the kitchen the whole evening. So preprepared starter and puddings are good.

Soft lighting.

No music (I'm a music snob and on the whole don't enjoy listening to other peoples choice of 'ambient' music.

I don't like being asked to take my shoes off if I have nice shoes on.

anything else....hmmm

good port.

All of our friends like to come to our house for dinner, so I guess the best ones are here! Is mainly because dh is a fab cook and he really goes to town with everything. We are both foodies, so we muse over the cook books for hours putting the courses together.

The best ones we have a fondue parties! Very 70's I know, but they are brilliant, as you cant help but have fun whilst you eat!

LOL @ not fondues! I love 'em!

fodues also have an element of peril about them (ie food droppage)...and they are sharp too.

I like non perilous dinner parties !

So, how do you want to play it then? Posh or casual? 3 course or one pot? How many people? There's loads of suggestions, but it depends on what you're trying to achieve.

ooh - good thread, because DH & I were having the discussion about "oh, we really should have more dinner parties..."

The thing for me is that he is all keen, but then usually it's me that does all the work and although I enjoy them, I also get quite stressed beforehand.
Also, quite a few of our friends are 'foodie-types' too (wouldn't describe us as, though) and then I always feel I'm being judged !

So I was going to ask a similar question along the lines of, "what suggestions do people have for easy, prepare beforehand (then reheat/keep warm) menus which will nevertheless wow the guests, and keep me in the kitchen for the bare minimum of time??

Cold

Hot

Cold

no more than 6 really

picky startes wiht a drink first to break ice
not all posh linen and stuff

no to shoes off

not hosts in kithcen slaving

Mmm- yes, agree with the cold, hot, cold thing.

One of my favourite hot mains is a big pot of Thai Green Curry Chicken with rice and veg/ salad.

We used to have a dinner party once a week before we moved to Berlin. I quite miss them because we don't get the chance to go out much due to lack of babysitter.
One key to an enjoyable party is really to try and have the afternoon before free to prepare then you can also spend time and relax with the guests. I always had a big bowl of salad and baguette aswell as whatever was on the 'menu' and that went down well (nice dressing v. important)and you can have it as a starter if you like and run out of time to prepare anything special, also I always had a cheese platter so that saves on work - no standing preparing a great pudding or cake that no one can eat as they are full after the main course (bet everyone will pick at a cheese platter with nice baguette or bread or crackers).
And make sure you won't run out of wine, beer or whatever everyone will be drinking. The best nights went on to well after the meal with drinks and coffee and more drinks!

Well - could go many different directions.

Have recently moved to this area/city, and other than a few distant cousins and some almost forgotten refugees from previous professional life, I don't know anyone really. Rather than waiting ages as I gradually get to know people, thought I might take the 'bull by the horns' (so to speak), and invite some parents from dd's school, and/or people from the neighbourhood.

As far as physical space, I can either do a round table that comfortably seats 4, or go into the proper dining room that seats 6, or with the extra section installed, 8.

re lessons learned form diastrous dinner parties:

Ensure plenty of loo roll.

If loo close to dining table maybe suggest the upstairs loo (no one likes to hear their guests pissing or farting).

Maybe scented candle in loo to ignite smells from fartogenic guests.

And no, no, no to any sort of games, puzzles, mind "wacky" cleudo type events, everyone going in term to announce what they are thankful for etc

UNLESS

everyone is very, very, very drunk (in which case the tear the elephant out of a page from the Telegraph in the dark is bloody hilarious).

Pretentious or good idea......had thought of hiring an extra set of hands to help get drinks for everyone, serve/clear, etc. I'm a single mum and thus don't have an 'other half' to help out with logistics. Also, would not know any of the guests well enough to ask/expect them to 'pitch in'.

Pretentious. Would make it v. formal.

Stick with a simple pre prepared meal and I would definately ask one or two people to help you clear...no one minds and it actually is quite nice for people to get up now and again to lend a hand (for them as well as you).

must do food that can be mostly prepared in advance - so you can spend time with your guests, minimise the chances of it going pear-shaped, and avoid sweaty make-up

lots of good booze

max 3 cheeses - but very good ones

polished glasses

proper coffee (we always fail on this one - too pissed by then)

EB - to be honest, I think having someone else there to 'serve' etc would make it much more formal (= less relaxing?) unless it was e.g. another single parent friend who was also having dinner with you?

I don't think guests would be offended by being asked to 'help themselves' from a drinks table - just practice a few friendly 'delegation lines' to have ready:

"Bob - could I possibly leave you in charge of drinks while I just pop back to the kitchen for a few minutes?"

"Sarah - would you mind passing these around "(EB thrusts canape plate into hands of unsuspecting guest)

To be honest, if they're at all polite and helpful they will probably realise what hard work it is for just one person, and muck in.

If I want to stress to people that it's an informal sort of get together I often say "come for supper, it's nothing fancy - just a chance for us to get together around the table"

Oh, and if anyone offers help, or says "can I bring anything?" be ready to suggest nibbles, or a pudding (depending on how brave you feel!)

one of the best we have hosted was a "murder mystery night theme " it was for eight people and in the game we all had to be in character [ so you have to send invites out two weeks beforehand to give guests time to get the correct clothing }We also had to decorate the lounge ,the game tells you the general idea ,play classical music and eat certain food. ! we had a chef ,a nurse a hippie[ me]driver and so on ,it actually lasted all evening and was great fun !

fizz (something cheap like Prosecco), white tablecloth, candles.

from a guest's pov, I'd be totally happy with say chicken cacciatore (sits in oven till you're ready to dish up), salad, bread, easy pud and cheese. And if you produce any After Eights...

key is to feed guests fairly promptly. if babysitters are involved they may call it a night quite early (i start getting antsy around 10.30 )

Oooh - this is my kind of thread!

No more than 8 I reckon. Def go for ease of meal on the night over pretentious stuff - you don't want to miss out on the whole shebang - and def nothing worse than host being absent.

Always offer water. I get the most drunk at those where people don't - and I forget to ask (don't worry, I don't disgrace myself)

Cold starter and pud - yes yes yes. One of the puds which went down most successfully in my house, was the easiest (so easy, yet it took a magazine to give me the idea) - good quality vanilla ice cream, and loads of little dishes of smarties/fudge/mini marshmallows/fudge sauce etc etc. Got more of a "wow" than any other pud I've ever done - including the bloody awful (sickly) white chocolate torte that I slaved hours over.

Main course - something with a salad to accompany - no faffing with veg on the night.

Starters - I like doing nibble-type ones (smoked salmon on sticks) but get fed up of handing them round.

Flowers - if you're hosting, make sure you've dug out a vase (discreetly) for any that arrive. If you're taking, fgs, get the sort that come with a stand-up water pouch thing. Last thing a busy hostess needs, is flowers hanging round the kitchen!

Drink - if you're not good at/able to keep glasses topped up, either nominate sby else or insist that everyone help themselves. Nothing worse than sitting there with an empty glass.

Leftovers - absolutely HATE it, when people insist on you having seconds "oh come on - have some more - it's not worth leaving". You shouldn't have over-catered, then. Bog off.

To all diners - PLEASE will you ensure that everything has been passed round the table, before you tuck in? (Especially to the hostess who sits down last and gets least to eat!)

Oh, but I love dinner parties. Wonder why I don't get invited to many - could it be all my rules and regulations ?

do not invite vegans and meat eaters to the same sunday lunch!

Do not invite more people than you can comfortably seat round your dinner table.

DO not have a stand up row with your husband in front of your guests and spend the rest of the evening snipeing at each other (the most painful dinner party I have ever attended)

Play games after dinner, trivial pursuit, scene it, buzz etc, things that you can do in teams if you have lots of guests otherwise it takes too long. Have good coffee on hand

Have lots of wine/other booze, provide nice drinks for non-boozers

create a menu where lots of things can be made the day before. I reguarly do a divali dinner party menu I found in the good food magazine, its hard work but it goes down really well and means I can spend plenty time with my guests.

Thoroughly check what all guests do and don't eat well in advance.

don't make jelly with alcohol in it, they don't set

When guests arrive, don't just ask "what would you like to drink?" Not knowing what's on offer, I usually say ask for wine, then realise I've missed out on some great punch or something. Best way imo, is to do a drinks table if you have room. States what you are offering, and saves time.

At winter dinner parties, don't bring to the table, the bottle of wine which was chilling on the doorstep, in order to show off the slug which has attached itself to it. No matter how much you've had to drink, and how good an idea it may seem at the time.

Don't criticize your own food - most important, is that you've gone to the effort of inviting people. I Once had to sit through a post mortem of a meal - what should have been added/done differently. Yawnnn.