my 3 yr old won't eat

[clarda]

anything except treats - which we are now refusing, and whilst aware this is all a power struggle, its doing my head in. We have tried giving him different stuff within one meal-time -but he says he'll eat it, then doesn't. His 19 mth old brother eats well, but the 3 yr old has always been a small eater - not to this extent though. I am now not giving options, just serving it up and sayilng he won't get anything else if he doesn't eat that. Its hard not to get cross specially when he starts crying when confronted with something new. He's acting like a neurotic teenager aged 3 and is not getting enough nutrition. any suggestions? i'm getting to end of tether...FAST!!

I know exactly how you feel. My son,now 7, was the same. I always gave in before he did, even though I'm pretty stubborn! Parents of good eaters just don't understand how hard it is to starve your child till they "get hungry enough to eat anything". My health visitor told meat was the most important thing to get in him as protein is the one thing you can't get from suppliments. His diet was so poor he never had a solid poo. I ended up taking him to a homeopath which sorted the poo out almost at once and he did start to eat better. He's still not an adventerous eater but I can just about get a balanced diet into him.

Posted this on other thread but applies here too.

God, we have a problem with obesity in this country not undereating. Young children and babies do not need a huge amount of food especially if they're still drinking milk. THey have tiny tummies.If a child is of a normal weight then stop worrying. Children are not born fussy eaters they are made into them. I defy any parent who follows the rules below consistently to have a child who is fussy:

1.) Provide a role model. Always eat with your kids. Always eat the same things as they are. Never prepare 'kids food' and 'adults food'. Never have adult meals and children's eating times.

2.) Do not give choice. Put stuff on a plate (a good range). Do not offer alternatives. If you say my child will only eat fishfingers and chips that is because you are only giving them fishfingers and chips. Stop doing that.

3.) Give child as much control over the eating process as poss. Finger food and knives and forks. Recent research suggests there is no need to puree food at all. If a child is old enough to sit up and eat then he is old enough to feed himself.

4.) If child doesn't eat. Calmly take food away. Do not pressure, criticise,fuss or worry. This will cause child to worry and manipulate even very young children will pick up on your worries.

5.) Make food pleasurable. Involve children in preparation from as early as possible. Allow children to make a mess. Let them dip, dunk, smear and splat.

Unless your child is severely underweight (and you'd have to ask yourself how this happened) then food should not be a source of anxiety or conflict. Stop worrying. Remain calm. Food should be pleasurable. IF your child won't eat take the food away and do something else instead. Try again later.

clarda, hurricanes post sounds good to me.

Be strong and don't worry about this.

Make life easy on YOU by not having sweets, crisps or biscuits in the house. (If you need them now and again send DH out of an evening, the kids will never know )

Do not get drawn into worrying about him; this sort of fussiness is so normal and is alot to do with neophobia which if you've watched Tanya Byron at all you will know anyway! My ds did this at this age and the way I got round it was to try to ensure I cooked alot of things I knew he liked, such as pasta, but I would always serve with it the stuff I wanted him to eat. For about a whole YEAR I would serve up broccoli and ds would leave it. Then one day he just picked it up and ate it.

Don't worry too much about his nutrition because this will probably be a short phase and to be honest some kids have existed on jam sandwiches with no obvious long term harm! I know it's a serious issue but really, don't worry. I bet if you made a list of the things he will eat you might find that it's just about nutritous enough to keep body and soul together.