am i being lazy????....MIL making me feel inadequate

[Titania]

I am on a diet......well more trying to eat better.....DH is in on it with me for support which is good.

The thing is we have 3 kids under 5 and I am trying to work through an A level at home as well. I am far too busy atm to cook loads of stuff from scratch, DH works irregular hours, gets home late and we end up having to eat very late. So we end up eating lots of pizza, pasta and chips etc for quickness and ease, especially when I have already had to cook for the children earlier.

So anyway, DH went to Tescos and bought a load of the healthy ready meals. (his idea not mine!) He said to do them and a pile of steamed veg, salad etc.....he loves them. We do this 3-4 times a week now and then the rest of the week I cook. Its a lot less strain on me. I feel as though I am eating better as well as I am not overpiling my plate cos of the set portions and not eating junk. DH says he feels better too.

The trouble is, MIL came round and looked in my freezer and saw the meals.....she now says I am being lazy, not cooking 'proper' food for her son, and that SHE managed to cook full meals for her, her DH and 3 kids fine as well as hold down a full time job. Its making me feel so inadequate, especially as now she is constantly asking us round for dinner now (DH hates her cooking now!!! LOL) and sending my DH cakes and chocolates etc, as well as occasionally actually plating meals up.

Is it THAT wrong what I am doing?

She drives me up the wall as well....turns up unexpected then says the place is a mess and starts messing with my washing (my pet hate.....NOBODY touches my washing!!! its just one of my 'things' i suppose)

OMG Titania! I would be furious if my MIL behaved like this. It sounds like you are doing a great job, what with 3 kids and studying. How dare she criticise how you feed your family and what was she doing looking in your freezer anyway?

I'd politley but firmly tell her when you want her advice you'll ask for it.

My MIL once tried to give me a masterclass in sandwich making. I wasn't buttering close enough up to the edge... so she took them apart as I was making them and corrected it. I was pg at the time and had a total sense of humour failure.

oh i am so glad im not the only one with a pain in the ar$e MIL!!!!! you lot have cheered me up loads!!!!

Nothing wrong with you IMO, and I'm afraid I would have to say something to MIL.

We often have meals late if dp is working late and if i've already cooked for the kids then i'm not going to cook again.
He is working late tonight so we have got a bag of that Youngs salmon and pasta each, nice and healthy too (well would be if i hadn't just pinched some of the kids chips to have a chip buttie).

You stick to doing it your way and don't let anyone tell you different.

my mil does my washing
I love it
i have 3 days where I dont touch it
I think convenience meals 4 times a week is a lot
sorry

It really is none of her business, Titania, how you and your dh choose to live your lives. I know it is easier said than done, but can't you ignore her comments, get dh to tell her it was his idea to buy the ready meals and just accept her little food "gifts" - at least they save you some bother having to prepare something else. Judging by other people's trolleys in the supermarket, I would say that what you do is the norm these days.

but coddy....why is what i am doing wrong? I am not giving them to my children.....if anything they eat better than me.....and the meals I buy are healthy, reduced fat ones, and I do lots of fresh veg and salad with them so I personally dont see what the problem is? surely me keeping my sanity is better than going mad trying to be supermum?

My friend has started eating Waitrose Perfectly balanced ready meals just about every weekday evening. She is a teacher and is too tired to cook every day. She says these meals are better than anything she would turn out anyway!

Take no notice of her titania, it is none of her business

And she shops late in the day and gets them reduced. Pays about 50p sometimes!!

Titania, you are not doing anything wrong - they are just things that coddy would feel/do differently! The important thing is, what you feel about the situation and how you would like to deal with it.

sorry coddy.......just being oversensitive this morning.......had some bad news thats upset me a bit. Sorry

Titiana - you are doing fine and certainly nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with making use of convenience meals, especially if adding fresh veggies, etc. to them. That's what they are there for. And, as you say, half the week you are having other stuff as well. Let's face it healthy convenience food is certainly better than having pizza, etc. Not everyone has the time to prepare fresh meals daily. Don't fret about it at all.

Have you thought about - on the days you are cooking fresh - making a larger batch? Then you could freeze a couple of portions and have your own, home-made convenience food ready to defrost and cook. Particualrly if you are cooking things like casseroles, cottage pies, pasta bakes, bolagnaise - dead easy to make just a bot more. Just an idea.

You know what this reminds me of? When Dd was tiny, I'd ask Dh to look after her sometimes. I'd sulk if he asked me to hold her while he got his dinner or had a shower 'cos 'when I'm on my own I have to manage without help'. That is - wanted to make sure he appreciated how hard I worked.

Reckon your MIL just wants you to work as hard as she did - bet she hates the dishwasher too! That, and she sounds like a witch.