18mth old angel is a devil with her food!

[LouiseM]

Hi there. I could really do with some advice from other mums that may have been through the same as myself. My daughter Rachel is 18mths old and I'm really struggling to get her to eat anything.

She'll eat yoghurt, and will eat fruit by the bucketload, which I know is a blessing. But other than that, she'll only eat potato smilies and chicken dippers. She refuses point blank to eat veg, sometimes she'll eat a little pasta and sometimes a boiled egg. She won't let me feed her; she has a fork and spoon but is more interested in spendig half an hour removing the contents of her bowl onto the highchair tray, and then putting them back in again - or throwing it on the floor of course! But far be it from me to dare introduce a new food, or give her what we're eating for dinner!

I just don't know what to do. Do I force-feed her? Do I leave her to it hoping that she'll eventually put something in her mouth? I'm sure it's 'just a phase' that'll probably last until she's 15 or 16 years old! I'd love to hear if anyone else is having or has had similar problems.

Thank you very much! x

I take the Christophenr Green approach - a child won't starve herself.

Ds hasn't let us feed him (unless it's sweet!) since he was about 14 months old. He gets given either what we're eating, or, if it's not suitable (or we're eating later) something relatively easy for him to eat with his fingers (slices of soft meat, pasta, pieces of omelette with peas in it). It gets put down in front of him and if he eats something (not necessarily it all!) then he gets a yoghurt/fromage frais/fruit fool/pieces of fruit. If he doesn't make any attempt to eat it, then he gets no dessert - but not as a punishment (ie I don't threaten him with no dessert - he just never gets one).

We decided early on that we weren't going to make food a battleground, so he doesn't get choices - but he doesn't get force fed either!

We found he ate better if he ate with us - and that we didn't give him too much attention while we were eating, so he just go on and copied us.

We also bought a big plasticised tablecloth to put underneath his high chair, so that it would catch the debris!

He's now 22 months and generally eats well. He loves fruit (especially grapes and strawberries), ham, rich tea biscuits, yoghurt and cheese - wich I don't think is too bad a balance! I haven't had that much success with getting veg into him - but the child minder seems to have an easier time (and can also still feed him with a spoon!), so I tend to give her the veg for his meals during the day. I also "hide" veg into casseroles and pasta dishes, which he eats without complaint.

I'd try just giving your dd whatever you're eating and if she doesn't want it, just remove it without comment - but don't give her something else. That way she'll be hungrier at the next meal time.

My 21 mo old use to go back and forth from eating veg to not eating veg along with other foods. For a month at a time. His food choices went up and down around that time. Dont worry things should hopefully pick up. This may sound weird since she is already using a spoon and fork but why not just put her food directly on the tray for now. I had to do this for a while with my ds because he kept tossing his bowl on floor at every meal. Hes doing great now. I would not force her to eat. My doc always said its a stage and shell be fine for a little while eating only selected foods. Maybe you can give her a drop vitamin to make sure she gets all the needed vitamin amounts. Hope this helps.

Threeangels idea of directly on the tray might be worthwhile. I put DS's in a bowl and generally manage to remain alert so that at the point when he tips it out i grab the side of the bowl and ensure that it lands on the tray and then remove the bowl.

DS almost always has the same as us with only minor modifications occasionally and I think he expects this. The main thing that is particular to him is his bowl of porridge in a morning which I have no trouble feeding him. I have also found that it works best for us to get on with our own meals, chat together because if we give him too much attention he performs to his audience!!!

Our current issue is that he will point to the fridge (yoghurt), fruit bowl (grapes/kiwifruit), kitchen cupboard (raisins) and say "ta" when he hasn't eaten any/much of his main course. ie he has started asking for things. I suppose he's just got to learn that it doesn't work.

I also thought about using a bowl with the suction on the bottom. Their pretty strong and will almost always stay stuck to the surface.

This sounds a bit daft, but I used to give dd her food in an icecube tray - literally one pea, one floret of broccoli, one bit of potato, one penne, one piece of cheese etc etc. She loved picking the bits out and eating them one by one.

Now I've actually written that down it sounds mad, but it worked! She was very finicky from about 18 months (and went off veg at that age too) and I think she just got bored of eating. Her appetite got better at about 2.4. She loves to pick off my plate so I used to have this whole routine going, 'oh, this is mummys, do you want to try some? Oh you like it do you, well maybe I can give you a little bowl of your own...' Sneaky, huh?

I find that drinking a lot of juice/squash is probably the thing that cuts her appetite the most. Apparently 'they've' stopped making Ribena so there is only water at the moment.

Sympathies, food fads are really hard, but try and stick to your guns and don't let them fill up on crap. Sobernow, I think what you are doing (taking plate calmly away) is the absolute best approach (even if you secretly scream into a tea towel behind her back!)

I echo everything that Janz said about food not becoming a battleground (though I would be hugely disappointed if dd became a fussy eater, loving food & cooking myself). The way I see it, she's sometimes just not hungry, especially as the "afternoon snack" she gets at nursery is quite substantial. If she doesn't want to eat her tea, I just take her plate away and she gets down from the table without being offered any fruit or cheese. We don't really have snacks ourselves around the house, so that's not a problem. Their appetites vary from week to week, and I've never found that dd wakes in the night or anything just because she's not eaten any tea. Hope this advice helps - you might find you'll have to be a bit firmer for the next few weeks, but I'm sure she'll get the message soon!

My DS is 17 mo and unlike Rosy I used to find (up to about a month ago that he would wake up hungry at 3.30 to 4 am if he didn't eat his tea which hugely affected how relaxed I was about the whole thing. But now he's got past this stage I have relaxed somewhat.

Fortunately for me is a robust little thing who looks pretty well-nourished! I know friends with slimmer kids who wory more.

Louise - slightly off-track but my dd (no 2) is 18mths as well and a few months ago someone asked me if she ate better at any particular times of the day. Initially I thought it was a strange question but when I thought about it, I realised that the only time she ate well was in the evening. I also thought about dd no1 (nearly 5) and realised she was a "morning" eater.

Like Rachel, dd2 loves fruit and yoghurt and feeding herself. However, we have found that in the evening (when she is a human dustbin) she will let us feed her. I also make up a lot of the Annabel Karmel meals which hide some veg in them. A couple of favourites with both DDs are Spaghetti Bolognaise and Shepherds Pie which I add grated carrots to. They devour both dishes but would not eat carrots if they were just put on their plates.

I think everyones covered most things. I'm not sure if it helps but I found that my ds would fluctuate and eat somethings then go off it and then decide to eat again. I just decided to make his diet as varied as poss in the hope that he'll eat somethings. Eg he'll eat cherry toms then not! etc. I've also continued to freeze cubes of pureed veg and stock. Which can be defrosted to make a thick soup (they often love dipping bread or anything into it) or be added to other meals eg cube of spinach or brocolli in tomato sauce (on pasta), that way they can't taste the additional veg. If you ds loves sweet tasting things have you tried making soups or purees out of butternut squash, sweet potato, swede or parsnips all of which very sweet veg I also mix them to give different flavours.

I love Enid's idea of the ice-cube tray - sometimes when children get a bit bigger and become more aware of what's going on (and how they can affect it!) their attention can be caught with a nice little gimmick like that. Also the point about eating what's on mummy's plate is good - always more popular that what's on the child's own plate, even if exactly the same! I am lucky in that mine have always been good eaters but really, don't get worried about it. your daughter will not let herself starve, so keep offering food, but as everyone else says, just offer what there is, not a whole range of choices, and she'll get the idea. Also it's well worth trying to eat together as a family if practicable - it's not much fun eating on your own. Another idea is to go out for a meal - lots of places are family friendly - we like M&S cafe and Pizza Express particularly - and so many little devils at home are little angels in public! Good luck and don't worry!

A thousand thankyou's for all your words of wisdom and definitely something to think about in there. Rachel's well above average on her weight chart (almost topping the highest line!!) so there's no chance of her wasting away as such, if she doesn't eat.

Threeangels - I think I will try the vitamin drops, just for peace of mind more than anything else. I've tried the suction dishes - she always manages to remove it. I feed her Baby Bio don't you know!!

Bozza - that is so sweet!! Pointing to the fridge, etc. Aww bless! I bet you feel rotten when you don't give them anything!

Enid - yup, that sounds completely bonkers and daren't even ask what on earth gave you the idea in the first place! But it's a super idea and I think I'll give that a go definitely.

21stcenturygirl - another excellent idea. Grating carrots - I have no imagination! I'll give this one a go tomorrow.

Clary - that's a cracking excuse to get the hubby to take me out for dinner more often, hehe!! Shall be trying that one immediately )

Brilliant brilliant, thank you so much. You've been a huge help xxxxx

I'm just going through this dilemma at the moment, my 17 month dd will not eat a main meal - she used to only eat pureed food, but she's gone off that, so I've been trying with more lumpy stuff but she won't even touch it.

She'll eat bread, and absolutely loves fruit and cheese but she is being a complete pain with a main meal - a stubborn mare, it's a real battle every dinnertime.

The suggesions on this thread are great, but does anyone have any ideas for recipes that she may like?