Please help ds will only eat chick n chips. i'm going mad...HELP

[purplemum]

PLease somebody give me ideas. My ds will only eat unhealthy food. He's almost 4 years old and has got it into his head that veg makes him sick. (he fell off a wall last year and gave himself concusion straight after sunday lunch. before that he ate anything he was given) Now every meal time he sits at the table in floods of tears saying "I dont want this I dont like it. I dont want to be sick"
Please help i dont know what to try next.

Hmmm, don't really know what to say purplemum. Just didn't want to 'ignore' you.
I think in your situation i would take him to the Doctors, or H/V - how old is he?

Ive taken him to hv but she said his height and growth is fine so dont worry. he's almost 4 yrs and i find i'm cooking one meal for the family and another just for him. its getting akward. i dont want dd copying

you are going to have to put your foot down. Hew is 4 and he already knows how to manipulate you (like my son tries to do) I would say this is what you are having like us. If he doesnt eat it, he goes hungry. He will soon start eating again.

Dont stress either, makes them worse

cruel advice from me

Mmmm my Ds1 is 2y7m and will only eat sausage and chips (or smiles, alphabites etc) I put veggies on his plate with these every day in the hope that he may try them. He does sometimes although I do appreciate that mine is younger than yours so it may be a bit different. It sounds like he's got himself in to a state about food rather than the taste. have you tried just giving him chicken and chips every day and not worrying about it too much for a while (sorry if this has been going on for ages ) but I'm sure I'm getting to the point where the less I get anxious about it and the less fuss I make, the easier it becomes. HTH and good luck with it

thanks fio2. I'll try that. what if he wont eat for a couple of days

Ok, I see from this post he is 3 (I asked you on you other post!).
Poor you, P'mum. It sounds as if the whole thing has got completely 'worked up'. My DS won't eat jelly or anything associated with jelly since he choked on a piece of fruit in some. I haven't bothered to tackle it as jelly is so unimportant - but i do know now how powerfully these things take root in their little minds. And not surprisingly: how else do they learn, but by experience!

I think in your position, the first thing I would try would be letting meal times calm down again - even just serving chicken and chips in a relaxed manner, if that's what it takes!

Then, away from the context of food, and not when he is at the table, or eating, I'd have a conversation about his fall, and explain that it was the bump that made him sick, not the food.

Then , very casually, and with no persuasion or cajoling, I'd try very gradually introducing things which he might not associate with the sicked up dinner - would he eat pasta? Does he eat puddings (which anyway you can lace with fruit - a perfectly acceptable substitute for veg).

Would he start to eat other foods in a non-dinner setting? A picnic? Soup?

But the main thing is to try and take it away from any sense of 'battle'.

You've probably tried all this - sorry!

maybe i was being a bit cruel. How about you let him have chick and chips for lunch but make him have the evening meal? That way it is sort of a compromise, or am I being too soft?

My daughter was awful, she ended up being malnurished and yet after we saw the dietician things did get easier. I used to stress far too much at mealtimes, where as now i dont bother at all!

Thanks for that blu. Everytime we've talked about the bump its been when we are arguing about the food. I'll sit him down later and try again. maybee if i talk to him away from the food setting then it might get through to him its not food making him sick.

As for the diferent settings i could have a go at trying a picnic. it might make dinner more fun. Thanks

Is this literally all he eats? What does he have for breakfast? Does he eat bread?
This sounds like a tricky one. The worst part is him associating eating certain foods with being sick - I know how powerful that can be. You could have a go at explaining that the food didn't make him sick, but he isn't likely to change his way of thinking at his age. DD was sick last night and thinks it was because she didn't eat all her dinner. I can't get her to understand (and she is 4) that it is more likely because she did eat some! My advice would be not to talk about being sick with him. The more you mention it, the more he will associate the two things. Hope this means something to you.

I agree with fio2, and I can speak from experience...

My brother (18 months older than me) was very fussy as a child and would only eat chips, chips and more chips. I started to copy at about 2 years old, and it ruined going round to peoples houses for dinner when I was younger and eventually going out to dinner with boyfriends when I was older.
I would just keep trying, don't give him food you know he will find disgusting (shepherds pie and stew was what my parents used to force on me - I still hate them now!). But why not try things like toad in the hole, with mash and carrots?

He does eat bread and cereals. he also eats fruit so i'm lucky there. He wont eat veg or potatoes. he won't even eat fresh meat. its only reformed chicken he eats ie:chicken nuggets or the birds eye chicken grills. he will eat chips and beans too.

Also, I can se that you are concerned that you younger child might start to copy him - and at 3/4 peer influence is SO powerful. How about setting up occasions where he sees 'good eaters' his age tucking into dfferent foods? Have his friends round to tea, and offer them delicious food, (which you know from their Mums in advance that they love)...but DON'T offer him any, or try to persuade him to eat any unless he asks. But only give him a minute amount of chips so that he is hungry for more food.

IME persuading children to eat food always has the oposite effect!

Im worried because my dh's db and ds will only eat mcdonalds and kfc. they are both in there early 20's and are both over 17 stone. I dont want him to do the same

Hmmm - if he's eating all those things, he may well be 'acting up'! You could try casually offereing an increasing raneg of foods, whatever he eats, great, and if he doesn't, just remove it without comment, but don't offer anything else.

But do anything to avoid meals involving anyone screaming or crying!

Good suggestion, Blu.

With dd (only 2, but she has her faddy days. Other days she'll eat anything), I find sometimes a full plate can put her off, so I remove the plate and give her, say, one bit of broccoli. I tell her she can't have anything else until she's eaten the broccoli. If she does it again the next day, she has to eat a bit of broccoli and some carrot etc.

Also have you tried hiding veg? things like bubble and squeak, carrot cake, or a bit of vegetable soup (or just pureed veg) in his beans?

I've not ried the pureed veg in bean yeat no. thats a good one. at least i'll know hes eating veg then. i must say that recently i've started trying the 'if you eat one carrot you can have pud' so ill just slowley increase what im asking him to eat

If he eats fruit, you aren't doing too badly. Ds1 once threw up after eating fish and he will only eat fish as fishfingers now, or occasionally tinned tuna. Loads of people are turned off food they once threw up. I think the best advice is to occasionally give him something different and if he doesn't eat it, take it away without comment. I have four children and I found the fussiest eater (now aged 6) has recently begun to eat a few more things which previously he wouldn't touch. Perhaps time and gentle persistance is all that is needed.

Funnily enough I've never been able to drink Pernod and blackcurrent since I threw up after drinking it!!

But seriously, good luck...I suffer with a fussy 5 yr old myself

My dd loves toad in the hole with chunks of veg (carrot, courgette) in the batter. Put them in the oil and coat thoroughly at the same time as the sausages, then add batter and cook as normal. They are lovely and crispy - more like chips than veg! If you try this and it is a success, you could explain that he has eaten veg and wasn't it nice, he doesn't feel sick now..etc.
Good luck - must be v worrying.