How would you react if ....?

[notlob]

you had spent a fair while making a meal for some friends who you hadn't seen for over 18 months. You all sit down to eat and their DS who is 5 says in aggresive tone, "I'm not eating that, it is disgusting!"
They return for another meal the DS does a repeat performance! They are coming back for a meal on Thursday and I'm very tempted to be just as rude back. What would you do?

Oh I agree it's rude, but I'm wondering whether the parents have told him that already (or maybe afterwards on the way home) and didn't want to concentrate on it in a social situation in case it led to escalation. I think it all depends on how well you know the friends involved, Notlob - would they be comfortable disciplining their DS in front of you in your home when you are trying to have a nice dinner? Or would their lack of response be because they feel inhibited about doing the full discipline routine in that social situation?

I have to say that over the years, many of my sons friends have refused to eat food I've cooked at our house - and I'm not a bad cook, honest. They are just fussy eaters. I think the 'it's disgusting' thing is something they pick up from school. I've had that or similar implied or said loads of times.

The children are normally on playdates minus parents, so I am the only adult. I either say 'well it's that or bread and butter' or adapt the meal for them slightly to make it more palatable for them. I really don't take it personally or see it as a vicoius attack on my hospitality. Often IMO 'it's disgusting' is shorthand for 'I've never had this before and I want to show off'

Mind you, if the parents were there and were not reacting, I might ask them later if their child had a problem with my food. I think it's time they offered an explanation for their son's behaviour and their non reaction to it, as it's happened more than the once.

i agree tigermoth - chldn say these things, don't mean it etc what really gets to me is the parents lack of reaction/explanation/apology. i find this family hard work and it was the icing on the cake.

there is light at the end of the tunnell - - they live abroad and are going home tomorrow so no more stress for at least 12 months.

haven't read all the posts but preceeding your comments with "in this house we...." is a good way of sending a message to both the kid and the parents that you find this unacceptable, and that there are rules in your house, and even though they are guests you expect them to make an effort to ensure their 5 year old complies (even though "your" rules are actually ones of basic ettiquette that most people would expect to apply anywhere). So you could say "In this house we don't say rude things like that when people have done something for you. If you don't like it, you can just leave it".

the thing about that, is it's not "telling off", as such, (we all know that telling off someone else's child is a whole other nightmare scenario) it's just a basic statement of the rules, and as long as you do it relatively pleasantly, and don't seem too pissed off, and quickly change the subject, I think you can make your point without causing offence