Afternoon Tea - what to serve?

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If you were inviting approximately 40 Americans (probably about 25 adults and 15 children) over for Afternoon Tea what would you serve them?

I'm English originally, but have lived in the US for a long time now. The occasion is my son's 3rd birthday, and I thought it might be nice to try to do something quite traditionally English this year.

Obviously hot tea, Victoria sponge, cucumber sandwiches and scones are essential, but what else? I'm trying to figure out what would be most authentic.

little Yorkshire pudding with a slice of beef and some with a mini sausage cooked in.
sausage rolls
mini pies cooked in muffin tins.
coronation chicken
cheese and red pesto pastry pinwheels
thinly sliced cooked ham and a little mustard sandwhiches
scotch eggs
cheese and leek puff pastry slices
a savoury scone like cheese and bacon
millefeulle
crumpets
éclair
madelines
tea cakes
apple tart
bakwell tart traybake then cut into slices.
jam tarts.
cupcakes.
shortbread biscuits.

treacle tart
coffe cake
lemon drizzle cake slices

smoked salmon and dill and cream cheese sandwhich
caramalised onion and cheese tarts
quiche

Scones! With jam and cream. Some form of ucumber sandwiches. Both essential.

My best afternoon tea has a selection of dainty open sandwiches, egg mayo, roast beef, ham, cheese etc. Scones, cream and jam, cakes - lots of cake !

Afternoon tea or just a lot if food with a vaguely British theme? If the former the only cakes, sandwiches and, scones. If the latter then just look up a list of stereotypical British foods.

For sandwich fillings I’d suggest egg and cress, smoked salmon and cream cheese, tuna mayo.

Batternburg and Bakewell tarts are both British in origin and haven't been discovered by Americans yet.

All of the above served on vintage china with tea pots filled with quality tea or cocktails served in tea cups.

So many good ideas here, do you have any orange squash or ribena for the kids? I grew up in the US, and I totally missed these

Thank you all for your suggestions.

I am thinking proper afternoon tea - with the dainty sandwiches, cakes, pastries, scones etc But was really not sure on what the sandwiches should have in them, and which cakes/tarts etc would be most English.

Drinks were confusing me too, as I can imagine the horror some of them will feel when their tea comes hot in a tea cup, rather than in a glass clinking with ice and know I have to offer something else!

So...

Sandwiches:
Cucumber
Smoked salmon, cream cheese and dill
Egg mayo and cress
Ham and mustard

Scones with cream and jam

Bakewell tarts
Chocolate eclairs
Shortbread

Full size cakes to slice:
Victoria Sponge
Carrot
Lemon Drizzle
Coffee (and Walnut?)
Battenburg

Also the birthday cake, which will be white chocolate sponge with raspberry jam done up as Thomas the Train.

Does that sound reasonable and thoroughly English? Maybe with another kind of pastry or biscuit thing or two?

In addition to inflicting hot tea on them, I'm thinking I am going to offer coffee, possibly a fruit punch and maybe proper Lemonade? DH will probably also dispense his homemade beer and gin and knock everyone out I could get some squash, but it is jolly expensive in the World foods aisle of my grocery store.

Pimms?

I think what you've suggested sounds great! I would be delighted to be one of your guests :-)

I buy teisseire blackcurrant it is cheaper than Ribera and still has lovely lovely sugar instead of shit sweeteners. Marmite is a must in the sandwiches and walkers crisps are cheap on amazon.

• and it’s Thomas the tank engine...

Deffo the dainty sarnies; cucumber, ham cheese, prawns. And lots of creamy cakes, strawberries, jam , scones. Cups n saucers and teapots if you have them. Chilled water and as for alcohol deffo Pimm's with all the trimmings. There will be a lot about presentation and music in the background. See if you can download birdsong or even a cricket match. oh I would enjoy doing that. It's got to be atmospheric.

Pimms is a fantastic idea, but thinking about it, I've never actually seen it for sale here. I'll ask the guy in our local liquor store if he can get it, but suspect it is too English to be available over here!

I do have three teapots, two of which are quite pretty. I mentioned holding a tea party for a pack of Americans to one of my ancient English aunties and she promptly sent me over two dozen tea cups and saucers so I could do it properly! So I'm all set on that front.

I love the idea of cricket match and English birdsong noises in the background! But the mention of cricket reminded me - I have a croquet set. So that might be fun to play with if the weather isn't shit.

And Thomas seems to have lost his 'Tank Engine' bit these days. I remember him from my 80s childhood and he was definitely a Tank Engine then. But how he's called Thomas the Train and the TV show is Thomas and Friends. When did that change? Or is this change just an Americanism?

Your menu sounds excellent!

Asparagus rolls. I've never had them, alas, but they sound lovely - asparagus tips rolled up in thinly sliced brown bread and butter.

Yes - walnut cake. I love tea scenes in old books and there are a lot of mentions of Fuller's walnut cakes and they were created by an american, so would be lovely for your tea.

It is only Thomas the train in America, so if you want a genuinely English party....

Home made lemonade? To mix with gin of course in the absence of Pimm's?
Artichoke dipped in melted butter oh, just think of an English film setting. Love it