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Original poster

judging baby vegetarians

70 replies

lispy · 21/05/2007 07:27

Do people judge and comment when they find out yor baby is a vego? what do you tell them?

OP posts:
Fillyjonk · 21/05/2007 07:35

never been judged for it but really-HOW would they know? a baby? do you mean nurseries etc?

i've had the occasional "oh what will they do when they go to parties and there are cocktail sausages" schitck (like you can answer that accurately when they are that tiny) but aside from that, no.

Original poster
lispy · 21/05/2007 07:49

Was just wondering, people already tell me i shouldn't make the decision not to eat meat for my baby. i turn that around and tell them i wont make the decision for him TO eat meat. I haven't even stated weaning him yet! People seem really concerned.

OP posts:
fillyjonk · 23/05/2007 11:16

i do sympathise

but its NONE of their business

would it help to have some books about nutrition or with balanced recipes? I find Rose Elliot's stuff good, also finger food for babies and toddlers by jenny mazels

another good general book is "diet for a small planet"

Brangelina · 23/05/2007 11:39

I get grief from loads of people, but then we are in Italy and vegetarianism is not understood.

DD's first paed was very against it, especially as she is on the small side despite having a huge appetite. I did have a moment of self doubt but then reasoned she was a slow grower with milk so she was hardly likely to grow any faster with meat. Luckily new paed is more on the ball, isn't entireley happy about it but can see that my DD is positively bursting with health.

I also get told I shouldn't make the decision for my child not to eat meat. One person said that to me whilst feeding her 8 month old nutella from the jar and giving her undiluted sweetened apricot juice to drink. On this occasion I pointed out that she shouldn't be making the decision for her child to rot her teeth before they'd come through. Ususally I don't waste my breath though.

Usually though the people that make the comments are those who feed their child jars and pre-prepared stuff so they don't have to worry about nutritional content as they have no idea. Not that this is a comment about feeding children jars, it's just that I know for a fact these particular people do because they know nothing about nutrition (one of them thinks rice is a vegetable and got hospitalised for anaemia despite eating a steak a day and no veggies, and has now been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at the age of 32, yet still lunches on sweets and chocolate biscuits) Rant over.

Brangelina · 23/05/2007 11:41

Yes, I second getting some books in. Sara Lewis's Veggie Food for Kids is another good one. That way you can blind 'em with science!

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 23/05/2007 11:56

Yes, I got it from all my family. "But she won't get enough protein and iron, etc, etc"

HV was ok about it especially when I showed her all the books I'd got and that I understood the food pyramids and stuff.

iwouldgoouttonight · 23/05/2007 12:22

I get comments too - my MIL said I should let him try all foods including meat and let him decide if he wants to eat it. My answer was that as me and DP are veggie we're not going to buy meat just for DS - we want to all eat the same food together and not have to make separate meals for DS. When he's old enough he can make the decision to eat meat if he wants to. My MIL then said I shouldn't give him beans or onions (so much for telling me to let him try everything!)

I've got a recipe book by Carol Timperley - vegetarian recipes for babies which I've made some nice things from.

SpacePuppy · 24/05/2007 16:16

we're not vegetarian and ds 18 months does not eat meat unless heavily disguised. I've no decided to look at alternatives to meat i.e. pulses but I feel like an idiot as I don't think like a veggie so in my eyes my ds is just fussy, but again he does not eat meat out of choice.

willywonka · 24/05/2007 16:21

We've often encountered scepticism from people when they've found out that dd is veggie. Funnily enough, they don't seem to appreciate the irony that it may actually be better than the turkey twizzler style diet that they choosing for their own dc .

FrannyandZooey · 24/05/2007 16:24

yes I have had the thing about "oh you shouldn't make the choice for him" lispy

I say very strongly that my not eating meat is one of my life's beliefs akin to a religious belief and that people are not normally criticised for bringing up their own children according to their own moral beliefs.

also that I am his mother and I ruddy WILL make choices for him

BibiThree · 24/05/2007 16:26

DD is a veggie as am I - Dh is an at-home veggie ie.g when we go out he wolfs the biggest steak he can find but is happy to eat what I cook otherwise.

MIL told me I was "depriving" dd - which made me boil! As if I'd do anything to deprive my own child! She is a completely average weight/height and very healthy 2.5 year old. If she wasn't I'd certainly be addressing her diet. I do worry she doesn't get enough iron, but try my absolute best to get leafy greens down her neck as much as I can.

I don't think adding meat to her diet would benefit her, I know MIL would end up giving her sausages and other kinds of crap - better off without imo.

NineUnlikelyTales · 24/05/2007 16:26

My In-laws are vegetarian too so we don't get any hassle from them, but my mum is a bit funny. She keeps going on about how uncomfortable she will feel when DS is old enough to ask to try her steak or whatever she has having, and she has to say no. He is only 8m old FGS, and I have already said that when he is old enough he can make the decision for himself.

I don't care what anyone else thinks now. I know that I eat a good diet, much better than most meat eaters and DS will have a good diet as well. I can't see that eating spam sandwiches and the cheapest possible meat burgers made any great nutritional impact on my childhood health

The HV did write down in her records that I am vegetarian......

doggiesayswoof · 24/05/2007 16:29

DD is veggie. Totally agree F&Z - there is no logic behind those comments - I mean, small children have all their decisions made for them anyway, don't they?

When I get comments about it I don't argue or get defensive, I just say we're happy and dd's happy, and we'll see what happens when she's older. I'd never try and justify it, because it ain't their business frankly.

FrannyandZooey · 24/05/2007 16:36

oh yes i forgot the stick from the HV

"still breastfeeding"

"late weaning" (ie not at 4 months)

"vegetarian"

furReal · 24/05/2007 16:41

what about vegans?

I had a work colleague who was vegan and who stopped bf at 4 months and weened her ds and refused to give him any milk, not even soy milk.

he ended up in hospital on numerous occasions because of his diet and the fact he just wasn't growing normally etc.

she kept moaning about the fact her hv kept telling her that he should at least be eating eggs, milk, cheese etc but she would have none of it.

MaPickle · 24/05/2007 16:42

I recently had this conversation with my mum

"So you're bringing him up vegetarian then"

"Well yes mum, DH and I are vegetarian, it makes no sense to feed him things we don;t eat, besides I haven't got a bloody clue how to cook meat anyway"

"No no, I'm fine with him being vegetarian. But will he grow ok? No, it's fine, but don't you think he should make the choice? No, it's fine really but isn't meat good for him?"

"He's getting everything he needs from the very carefully thought out, home cooked menu I am preparing for him"

"Yes that's very good, your choice is fine. But what about when he's older ... "

etc etc etc until I just felt like screaming "For god's sake woman cook him a steak if it will shut you up!"

I love my mum really.

MaPickle · 24/05/2007 16:44

F&Z, every time I see my health visitor she comments "Oh you're ... vegetarians .. aren't you?"

doggiesayswoof · 24/05/2007 16:44

furReal, it doesn't sound like your friend made the most sensible choices, but it's perfectly possible to bring up a baby as a healthy vegan. Rule #1 would be extended bf though.

FrannyandZooey · 24/05/2007 16:44

"what about vegans"

my ds had a vegan diet until he was a year old and he is (and was) healthy, normal, huge, happy etc

your friend wasn't feeding her baby a decent diet. That isn't being vegan. That's something entirely different. A baby doesn't "need" eggs and cheese any more than any other human does.

doggiesayswoof · 24/05/2007 16:46

What Franny, you mean he's not a pale, scrawny, starving urchin, with desperate cravings for cow's milk and steak??

doggiesayswoof · 24/05/2007 16:47

lol MaPickle, I got that from HV too - I overheard the practice nurse saying 'she's the vegetarian' as she passed her my file.

doggiesayswoof · 24/05/2007 16:48

Actually, I'm feeling the need to confess I am no longer veggie, but I did get through pg and bf quite happily while I was...

MaPickle · 24/05/2007 16:48

DH has been vegetarian all his life. The only animal by product he eats is cheese - no eggs or milk etc etc - he's 6 foot tall and at the mo, could not, in any way shape or form be described as "scrawny"

FrannyandZooey · 24/05/2007 16:52

doggie no he is vast and has a mop of scary hair

quite lean actually, but he eats cheese and eggs and stuff now

he is pale and given to nancying about with dead bees though, so I probably have done some lifelong harm

BibiThree · 24/05/2007 16:52

I've said this a million times on MN already, but MIL recently told me that DD craved sweet things more than other children becuase she's veggie.

She's not got a particularly sweet tooth but will obivously choose a jaffa cake over an apple as most toddlers would I expect. But it's MILs excuse for giving her 4 jaffa cakes in a row rather than going through the rigmarole of just saying no after one.