Please help: I am getting so upset about her being a fussy eater

[feemcgee]

I get so upset and stressed out when my 18 month old daughter doesn't eat, like tonight, she wouldn't eat one thing, which is fine if she didn't like it, but wouldn't touch the next dish I gave her either. Some days she can eat a lot, but I really hate it when she doesn't eat a meal. I think this is more about me than her, and my hang-ups. I always mash things because I think that she won't eat separate foods, like potato and veg. I'd rather she ate it mashed than not at all. Please give me some help about changing my attitude and relaxing!

try and chill she won't starve to death and will eat when she is really hungry. By letting yourself get upset about it, she will sense that and may play up all the more... How about getting plastic matting for the floor put her in her high chair and let her feed herself? You could try different sizes and textures.
You could eat at the same time and if you try to concentrate more on what you are doing she may just start copying you.

I'm sad to say that this doesn't work with 13 year olds

I agree with hayes, that if you show her you are upset and stressed about it, your DD will know, and may even use it to wind you up... At 18 months, there isn't much that a child can have real control over, and food intake is one of those things, so I definitely agree it's best not to show that you're worried. Also, we eat differing amounts some days to others, depending on what we're doing etc., and so do little children.

Have you tried keeping a note of everything she eats for a week, including snacks? There are probably days/meals when she eats loads and days/meals when she doesn't, and it probably evens out.

I wouldn't offer her another dish if she doesn't touch the first one, esp if you know it's something she likes. Instead, I'd just make no comment and after 10 minutes, or however long you think best, just take the plate away. Then no more food until the next snack or meal time, and if it's a snack next, don't give her a bigger snack than normal. I think eating with her is a good idea too if you can, so she can see that you eat and enjoy your food.

Especially with girls, I think it's important not to make food an issue, as food being an issue at 18 months could make food a real problem later on when DD is older.

Good luck!

PS, I'd also try and stop mashing - mashed up food doesn't look so interesting or nice. She might enjoy feeling the food more if it's not mashed. Don't worry about manners yet - first step is to get her to eat it!

try smiley faces with halved cherry toms, small pancakes, cubes of cheese and strips of cucumber. DS loved the red eyes so much he forgot he didn't want to eat!

How much milk is she getting ? maybe cut the milk down a bit then she may eat more ?
My 2 loved good old spag bol, cut up nice and small .

Also try to eat with her and the same food , she will soon copy you im sure , no one likes eating alone .

Stop mashing & leave her to it while you make yourself look busy...Please do try not to make an issue over it, one missed meal now & then really isn't something to get upset about.

Give her a picnic type plate of food try a few grapes (cut in half) cherry toms, mini sausages, cubes of cheese, ritz crackers (just a tiny bit of each) then read a magazine or mn while she eats (listening for choking and giving a sneaky peak to check shes ok) but mostly leaving her to it and when she starts messing about take it away give her a yogurt and get her out. If she hasn't touched it don't stress as long as shes drinking plenty she will be fine. fussing will do more harm that good.

Eating with her is a good idea as long you're not on edge watching every mouthful, if you can't trust yourself not to be a hawk i'd occupy yourself with something else while giving her space tbh.

Dont know if that will help but i hope it does.

It's hard not to get stressed out. My 19month old has days when he hardly eats a thing, and even though he has days where I just can't seem to fill and he eats so much I worry he'll give himself indigestion, I still stress a bit when he has an 'off' day.

It does work to notmake any fuss. I just get on with stuff round the kitchen and often will look over at him to see him quietly getting stuck in andnearly finished.