How to move from puree to proper meals!?!

[karen99]

Any advice on this would be appreciated!

DS(13mo) has started on that slope of being disinterested in food.. He always gets a finger-food lunch, eg. sandwich, cheese on toast etc and grapes/sliced banana, and seems quite happy with that. So I know he can chew his food (8 front teeth). But for dinner, the time I try and get a healthy meal in him, he refuses to have anything other than a few home cooked AC puree's. I have tried mashing and he gags, I have tried them whole so he has to chew and he gags... then it puts him right off his meal.. He has also realised he can feed himself and insists on holding any spoon that hits the bowl. He just pushes the puree to the back of his mouth and swallows in one go. If there are any lumps he doesn't realise and this causes the gag.

How do you bridge the gap between puree and proper food?? He won't touch rice or pasta. Do I just make a chunky meal and leave it in front of him waiting to use his hands or spoon (which translates into me counting the seconds before the plate hits the floor!) Heeellllpp!

I think I used a mixture of both, prepared some finger type foods on a aplte while feeding dd the puree which I put through a mincer trather than blending to increase consistency but manage lumps size so if she did swallow then it would not cause a gag.
It is only a short phase until they get some molars they begin actually chewing, so anything other than a really soft
lump will be spat out 9 times out of 10...
ask our mop about it... sheesh

dd2 has only 2 teeth (well 1.5 as one of them is really only just showing) and is now 15 mths. she's eaten virtually anything (baked potatoes, noodles, all veggies) since she was nearly 1 and has rock-hard gums. i think the refusal thing is more of a texture thing than actual ability to chew. if he likes bread, mush a bit of 'proper' food into the bread/toast so when he chomps he'll be getting some of the goodness.

What about swapping the meals over? I give DS (10 months) his main (spoon fed) meal for lunch and then finger foods for tea when he is more likely to mess around and want to feed himself - he is normally quite tired at tea time so thats all he will manage.

what about doing finger food at dinner time - things like fishcakes, meatballs, big pasta (to pick up rather than spoon feed), veggies and dips etc etc. Or soup and toast fingers to dip in. It sounds like he is keen on self feeding and I think its a good idea to go with that. I always had to use finger food to distract ds1 while I spoon fed him! I remember a phase when he would only willingly eat stuff he could pick up himself. then he got really keen (and good!) at using a spoon so it was back to sloppy stuff again.

Thanks - lol re: mop! Tell me about it!

Yes, definitely a texture thing. He finds pasta too slimy as a finger food (but will happily try and have a go if he gets hold of an uncooked piece!doh!) Good idea about trying more "..on toast" recipies. Is it a case of just trying the same things over and over again, eg. offer a few pieces of pasta at every meal? Will he eventually get the hint or will they permanently end up as missiles?! I guess I just keep giving in a blend up the cooked food just to ensure he eats something healthy as I don't think cheese on toast is really!

Any other ideas?

oops, posts crossed and hadn't read becca and elliots.. may try changing them round. Since the hot weather he's gone off hot food at lunch though.. Will try again. Agree also about being tired at dinner time. He's going through a phase of sometimes having two naps, but usually just one nap in the day at the mo and he's *really difficult from 5:30pm onwards these days..

Yes I remember evenings when I'd prepare a big bowl of something and ending up having to spread it on toast to get him to eat any of it....
actually ds1 was never that keen on pasta as finger food either.
I made fishcakes a lot
But this phase was really short before he got more keen on using the spoon himself. Then I did a lot of stuff based on mashed potato - thick enough to stick well to the spoon! Can he manage something like tinned tuna in a white sauce? what about peas and sweetcorn as finger food?

cold pasta has a bit more 'bite' to it, try it with pesto, and coarsely grated cheese on top.

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Thanks for the further advice guys

I was wondering if I was pushing him too hard at the mo, particularly whilst the weather is so hot and I think some teeth are on their way. Will chill a little and try again in a few days. Will also try some of these other ideas and see how things go.

Thanks again.

Karen, if your ds is hungry he'll eat. If he's not he won't. The hot weather may be affecting his appetite but it'll pick up when it cools down again. I think having his main meal in the middle of the day is a good idea, so he's not got to cope with a heavy meal when he's tired.
I always take a hard line with my ds. At meal times he sits in his chair and I give him a balanced healthy meal (btw cheese on toast +fruit is healthy and balanced). If he eats it all he can have pudding (usually fruit or yog, occasionally cake, biscuit). If he doesn't I give him a drink of water and remove him from the table. I don't force him to eat anything and try to leave him to it as much as I can. If he choses not to eat, he will wait until the next meal time when I will give him another healthy balanced meal etc. We have 4 mealtimes a day (breakfast, lunch, after-nap, and tea). Some days he seems extra hungry and I let him snack in the afternoons, and as on those days he will have invariably eaten an enormous lunch it doesn't matter if he doesn't want much tea. He has drinks after meals, or water in between.
We've been following these rules since he was weaned and he eats pretty much everything - now 20months - and most importantly he enjoys his food. Some days he eats loads and other days hardly anything but overall he's fine.
Remember, you're in charge and if he doesn't want to eat the most likely explanation is that he's not hungry (for whatever reason) and you should remove him from the table and try again later. Don't offer him alternatives and don't let him fill up on milk or juice. You are not running a cafe and you can chose what and when you feed your son. He'll get over the lump thing, just don't rise to it!
Good luck!

ps ginababe - are you gina??!

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Vivie, I too thought your advice was great - I wish I had read it 2 years ago when I had my DS! I'm still paying the price for making a big issue out of eating....Happily I have a DD and things are going better and I'm determined not to make the same mistakes again!

Actually I read that back and maybe I sound like a Nazi Nanny! I must add that some days we're a bit more slack - we do have special occasions and treats like other families! - but on the whole this is what we do. I'm 6 months pregnant with my second son so I'm hoping that this is good advice and that ds2 will enjoy his food as much as his big brother.

ginababe, I'm a big fan of Gina Ford and I just wondered if you were her 'undercover'!

Hi Vivie, thanks this is really good advice. I try to be strict and don't offer choices but as he's still only 13mo I'm paranoid he's not getting enough in the day if he plays up at one mealtime. I guess I'm also scared he'll wake in the night if he hasn't eaten well in the day. Do you find that?

What time are you meals (breakfast, lunch, after-nap, and tea)? Our typical day is:

7:30am - milk + toast with unsalted butter and/or small amt of jam
9:00am - one weetabix followed by half banana
12:30-1pm - cheese on toast,etc, portion of fresh whole fruit. Sometimes he could eat more but most often I let him down at this stage (which seems a bit odd whilst writing this down!!)
3pm - milk + raisins or fresh fruit or biscuit
6pm - AKarmel puree from freezer + puree fruit + fromagefrais

Do you have any other lunch suggestions?

DS has always drunk from a spouted cup (missed bottles completely after breast). At what age do they understand how to drink without the spout? I have let ds a few times but he always forgets to tip it back up after drinking and it just goes down his front.. I'm thinking it's still a bit early for that..

Thanks again for all the help everyone

I've sometimes thought that my ds must surely wake in the night because he hasn't had enough to eat, but he never has done (touch wood) although some days he's wanted a bigger breakfast than normal! I have this theory (not based on anything other than watching ds) that small children somehow 'know' how big they should be and eat just the right amount of food to be exactly that size, so if they don't eat for a while because of illness or whatever, they overeat afterwards to make up for it. Does that make sense?!

Ds wakes normally about 7.30 am but he's never been hungry when he wakes so breakfast is usually cereal + fruit, and sometimes some toast at about 8.30 am. If it was earlier I think he would need a snack to get him through to lunch but most days he's fine.

12-ish, lunch, usually 'meat + 2 veg' type meal, eg chicken casserole, potatoes and peas, fish + sauce and baked potato, spag bol,

1-2.30 nap, followed by milk in a cup + eg fruit, small sandwich, biscuit, avocado.

5pm tea eg, pasta and sauce, soup and sandwich, bagel, ham, pieces of pepper, cucumber etc, beans / sardines on toast and milk in a cup.

He has bedtime milk in a bottle at 7pm. He still has his drinks in a cup with a spout unless I'm supervising closely because of the mess. He's allergic to dairy and eggs so I still give him quite a lot of soya formula milk to drink because I can't give him cheese etc and I get a bit anxious about him having enough calcium and fat (soya alternatives are v low fat). I'm seeing a dietician next week and she may suggest that I reduce the amount of milk he drinks and I don't think it will worry him.

I try to make his food look and taste good, and as I'm a full time mum this is relatively easy. I suppose that because he's a good eater it makes it easier too because I make big batches of meals for dh and me and freeze the leftovers in small portions for ds.

Is your ds making any headway with the lumps yet?

Hi Vivie, sorry I haven't replied until now... where does the time go!?

Thanks for this. It's really useful. We have allergies in our family too, but thankfully ds hasn't showed any signs of one so far [all fingers and toes crossed!]. Let me know how you get on with the dietician.

As for my ds we've moved from puree to mashed foods! It's a start. Still haven't swapped the meals round yet as we've had progress with the mash. I've also increased his lunchtime meal, ie. keep offering him food (mainly fruit) until he starts to play or points that he wants out of the highchair. This means he might not eat as much at dinner but I feel he's gotten enough in the day. So if he's tired and crotchety at dinner time I don't push him as hard as I used to (ie. I give him smaller portions so I don't get upset if he leaves some).

I'm still not sure if ds is old enough to understand the 'finish it or get nothing else' approach. He's 13.5mo. I'm thinking of enforcing this rule in a month or so? What age was your ds?

PS, forgot to say congrats with ds2!

Hi Karen,

Glad your ds is taking mashed food - sounds like a good step forward. He's a lucky boy, having a mum who cares enough to go to all the trouble of making lovely food for him!

I've always had the 'no pudding until you've eaten your dinner' rule, but I've never really discussed it with ds until the last couple of weeks when his language has been good enough to ask for biscuits etc. I give him his savory food and when he eats it all I praise him - 'all gone! what a good boy' and then give him something else. If he doesn't eat it all I just take him down from the table and don't mention pudding at all. I'm hoping that he won't see pudding as a reward for eating his savory food, because he shouldn't need a reward, the meal itself is delicious! It's a really good idea to give not too big portions because he's more likely to eat everything and I get to be pleased with him more often than not.

When I was little I remember my dad explaining to me that in our house we like all food and so the only reason for not cleaning our plates was that we were full. If we were full then obviously we couldn't manage any pudding so the meal was over. Logical I suppose. My brother, sister and I were always the kids that ate everything! I know our dss are far to young to understand but this is what I'm trying to live by iyswim.

I'm not saying I never have eating problems with my ds though. Today for lunch he had lamb and chickpea stew with a tomatoey sauce and beetroots - which he got his hands in for a good splash that ended up all over the wall, floor and my brand new WHITE top. I know I shouldn't wear white with a toddler but I was pretty p**d off all the same, especially as he thought it was a really funny game and kept on doing it!

LOL vivie. Think we'll also be adapting that dinner time motto! Will check in again in a few days..