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Original poster

DD (9) cooking her own tea & then eating by herself?

18 replies

Katymac · 16/04/2007 17:49

I childmind - and about 3/4 of the time we eat DH, Mindees, DD & myself

Occasionally (once a week or so) DH & I eat later - dd chooses whether to eat with the other children or with us

Over the last few weeks she has asked (once a week or so) to cook her own tea and then eat it by herself.

She can only cook a few meal (beans on toast, poached egg, cheesy pasta) & when she does this we either eat with the children or later by ourselves

A friend has slammed into me saying that I shouldn't let her cook her own tea or eat by
herself

I thought I was being good and letting her have independence but she thinks I am neglecting DD

Mumsnet Jury??

OP posts:

PinkTulips · 16/04/2007 17:51

if she's asking to do it and it's just once a week i can't see the harm

how about turning it into an opportunity to learn to cook some other meals... that way there's no way you can feeli like your neglecting her and she's learning a valuable skill

beansprout · 16/04/2007 17:51

I think once a week would be ok, to encourage her but the majority of the time she is part of the family.
Adults not being able to cook is causing so many health problems in this country, and I would want to encourage her to learn these vital skills!

southeastastra · 16/04/2007 17:51

it's great that she is confident to do it. i can't see any reason at all why your friend thinks it's neglectful

Kbear · 16/04/2007 17:52

No harm in being about to knock up a bit of tea for yourself. You should congratulate yourself on such a sensible DD that you can trust to use the cooker etc. I'm training my kids the same way, DS will be the only kid at marine biology school that bakes cakes and bread and can whip up a lasagne in ten minutes flat!!!

controlfreaky2 · 16/04/2007 17:53

oh fgs (the friend, not you!). if that's what she has asked to do and wants to do how can that be any sort of neglect?? you are in the right and she is wrong (and should mind her own business). how old is dd? (am impressed by culinary skills).

RubberDuck · 16/04/2007 17:53

I think it sounds fab! She sounds an independent and skilled young lady. I think more kids should be encouraged to be responsible for the occasional meal (and weekly sounds a good balance to me).

DumbledoresGirl · 16/04/2007 17:56

I suppose I can see an anti social side to the arrangement. If she were mine (and I have a 10 year old who sometimes wants to cook dinner) I would ask her to cook for everyone. I don't like the thought that one day my children will all be cooking and eating separate meals. In fact, they won't. I won't tolerate that whilst they are living with me.

But I do think it is great that she is gaining some independence and if she only eats one meal a week on her own, your family is not exactly going to fall apart at the seams for lack of communal eating is it?

Kbear · 16/04/2007 17:57

DD sorted out breakfast for herself and DS this morning as I was still in the bathroom and they were hungry. She is 8. You have to train your kids to be self-sufficient I think, gradually. It's in their interest to learn about food, cooking, what's healthy and what isn't.

Carmenere · 16/04/2007 17:59

Cooking was one of my most favourite things to do as a little girl, there is NO harm in her doing this. You are fostering independance, skill and creativity by allowing her to do this. And don't mind your friend.

MintChocChippyMinton · 16/04/2007 18:00

Its fine, its great in fact. Pretty sure when i was this age i'd cook a simple tea - to get a Brownie cooking badge probably

Original poster

Katymac · 16/04/2007 18:00

I didn't think it was that awful - she wants to cook sausages & bacon but I'm a bit nervous of the grill and also stir fry but the hot fat worries me

She is learning proper cooking (cakes, yorkshire pudding gravy etc)

OP posts:

Carmenere · 16/04/2007 18:01

I went on to have a fairly sucessful career with cooking and I definitely got the bug at around that age.

pointydog · 16/04/2007 18:08

your friend has an odd viewpoint

Original poster

Katymac · 16/04/2007 18:49

We had Toad in the hole at 5pm

She just cooke cheese & pineapple() pasta and ate at 6.30

I supervised the cooking and sat with her while she ate

She said"Mum - go play on your computer, you keep interrupting"...she was reading

OP posts:

Carmenere · 16/04/2007 18:51

lol at cheese and pineapple pasta

Original poster

Katymac · 16/04/2007 18:53

"We have pizza with cheese on - why not pasta" I was told that by DD

OP posts:

Original poster

Katymac · 16/04/2007 18:53

Missing the point entirely

OP posts:

shouldbedoingsomethingelse · 16/04/2007 18:56

I think its absolutely fine and great that she can learn to cook a meal whilst you are there. This will give her great life skills and amazing confidence.

I wish I had encourage my DD(now 11.5yo) to do this. Once a week I take other DC to their activities and she stays at home but will ring me up to moan thats she's hungry and never thinks to cook something for herself(or even open the fridge door)

Well done you and her

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