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fussy or what - did BLW(ish) backfire on me?

15 replies

fibernie · 13/03/2007 13:32

Can I have some advice please fellow mnetters?
My 14 month old was weaned almost completely on finger foods. She would let me spoon in a yoghurt but otherwise has happily fed herself a range of foods and is thriving. She's got no teeth yet, but can munch on most things, although I avoid anything that would need lots of chewing.
Since she's been at nursery (3 months) the staff there report she eats really badly, refusing most main courses. The problem seems to be they feed her things she isn't used to, therefore can't pick up (lamb couscous today). I would have thought she would make an attempt at it though, but it seems she often throws it on the floor! Instead they give her toast and whatever finger food they have to hand. Most days she comes home hungry though.
They keep asking me, 'but what does she eat at home?', to which I answer 'most things!' but now I'm wondering if I've gone too far down the finger food route. I do make an effort to make things she can pick up... she can use a spoon now but not at all efficiently and mostly I need to load it for her. She'd only accept it with something sweet on it anyway.
Suggestions? Maybe I'm just needing to have a wee rant! I don't want her to be branded at nursery as a fussy eater, and don't want to turn her into one!

OP posts:
luciemule · 13/03/2007 18:00

Could you not negotiate the fees slightly and you provide her with a packed lunch she will be able to handle. It's not like at 14 months you'll be singling her out - she'll feel more left out if she can't cope with the meals they try to give her and ends up eating nothing. They could always heat up savoury finger food for her in the MW so she could still have a proper main meal at nursery. I'm surprised they're not being more cooperative and advising you on things to help her/you and make it easier. My DS is now 2 and still finds it hard to eat a main meal properly, unless it's chopped up really tiny or pureed like soup!

BizzyDint · 13/03/2007 18:04

so what does she eat at home then? what's the chewy stuff you're avoiding?

does the nursery have a set menu you can look ahead to? when dd started nursery i checked the menu to see if she'd be able to manage it (her being 7 months and starting on what they called 'toddler' food). it's a 4 weeks rolling menu so i always know what she'll have. anything she's not had before i try her with at home first so i can see how she'll handle it. if it's a real no go thing then i ask them to make her sandwiches. no problem. they do that if it's soup for example. she is only there for 2 teas mind you.

littleducks · 13/03/2007 18:12

hmm, maybe you need to be a bit more specific when the nursery asks what she eats, the it will give them a better idea of how to help.

poss pack lunch.

review how they present meals, diff versions of the same meal can be more or less easy to feed yourself

or could you try getting a list of their menu dishes, and cook some of the stuff at home to make it more familiar?

AitchYouBerk · 13/03/2007 18:16

poor wee thing... how are the older children eating lamb and couscous? presumably with cutlery, i suppose. i must say the only way i get DD (also 14 months) to eat couscous with any efficiency is to mix it with a spot of yoghurt and load it onto a spoon for her. did the nursery staff not try something like that?

although i've got to say that i think dd would be shite at eating a lunch at nursery, it's her least favourite meal. i think it's cos she's so wide awake and raring to go that she finds it a pain in teh neck. do they sit them in high chairs? cos dd eats nothign at lunch if in a high chair, it's got to be something she can race around with.

fibernie · 13/03/2007 18:21

Some good ideas folks, many thanks for responses, I especially like the idea of cooking some of their stuff at home for her... they have a rolling menu too so I should be able to predict what she's going to have. I did ask for a menu a while ago but I think it's changing so need to ask again. I suspect the fees are non-negotiable
Last night she had minced meat in a sort of pie with pieces of carrot and sliced potatoes on the top. Today she's eaten potato scones with cheese and for dinner vegetable and lentil pasties with broccoli and a pear for pud.
BizzyD, I'm not avoiding much really - things like raw carrot sticks and and celery are a no-go, or anything with serious 'bite'. I'm the least anxious about choking, as i'm a SALT and know how it all works!
She's only in nursery 1.5 days as of the end of this month, but I don't want her to be labelled as a picky child, when in my eyes she's anything but!

OP posts:
fibernie · 13/03/2007 18:23

Sorry Aitch, cross post...
They sit them in wee chairs, but are strapped in I think. She's got no probs staying still, since she only started to crawl a month ago! Bless her.

OP posts:
AitchYouBerk · 13/03/2007 18:31

what's your gut feeling about the staff?

BizzyDint · 13/03/2007 18:32

yes. we have those wee chairs too. dd sits at the head of the table tucking into her toddler food while the others are spoon fed their baby food. i wonder how long it'll be before she feels left out...i guess they'll all be on the same food soon enough though.

fibernie · 13/03/2007 18:33

Key worker - fab, lovely girl. Girl that handed over today, haven't got measure of her yet. Often a bit sullen.
Am certain she gets high quality care there, just find it hard to believe they've never come across a 'finger food baby' before.
Are our blw babes such rarities???

OP posts:
BizzyDint · 13/03/2007 18:41

mine was the first at our nursery. i just explained it as she has toddler food not baby food. they are fine with it. the menu is basically puree, mash, or toddler food.

when i first tried explaining it as 'she just eats with her hands' they didn't get it at all. then when i tried 'she only has finger food' they thought i meant she lives off carrot sticks and bread sticks and rice cakes...ho humm. so i sat with her for her first meal there at settling in session thing, and then they got the idea.

i think they like it..less work for them after all. they can feed the others and she takes care of herself.

fibernie · 13/03/2007 18:47

I think they are quite amused by it and think she's a genius! In the first week they said, 'We gave her a banana, and she ATE it all!' Recently they had someone being shown round who asked why they weren't feeding that little girl. They proudly announced that she's very independent and always just takes her time and feeds herself. I think in general they think her feeding herself is fab, but they find it hard to get an idea of what she eats at home.
I recently changed her from the baby (ie softy and mushy) menu to the toddler menu which means she eats more at 'tea-time' but the toddlers often get the same as the babies at lunchtime - a hot, soft meal.
What do you think if I have a chat tomorrow, offer to give them a 'food diary' for a week of what she eats at home, and ask for the menus so I can cook some of those for her too?

OP posts:
AitchYouBerk · 13/03/2007 18:49

good idea. they may just have to be more imaginative about the way they serve things. for example if they're cutting things up they may be cutting htem too small or leaving them too large. i find that dd loves small veggies now but needs meat in big chunks.

BizzyDint · 13/03/2007 19:01

yes. at least by knowing what's coming up for the next week you've got a head start. hope it's better for next week

fibernie · 13/03/2007 19:27

Thanks for helping me get my head round this everyone! Will see how things work out.
Of course, it may just be that my food is so fabulous she doesn't want to eat anything else . I blame Aitch and the yummy blog recipies!

OP posts:
AitchYouBerk · 13/03/2007 19:36

good luck, fib.

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