Calling parents of ultra fussy eaters I need your wisdom and help! Long sorry.....

[VictorVictoria]

I am slowly going round the bend

DS 21 months has always been a very picky and fussy eater/feeder. Weaning was very hard work as was moving to anything even remotely containing a lump. We are now at the stage where he will pretty much always eat cereal, toast, fruit, yoghurt, fish fingers, chicken and mushroom risotto and pasta and salmon. Has dropped spagetti bolognese and sheprhers pie recently (just yells when he sees it and refuses to try it). We have tried him with all sorts of other things - wither he refuses to try them or has one mouthful (or even one tiny bit) and bursts into tears and refuses to even chew it. Its as if he is terrified of anything new. Won't go near a vegetable unless its hidden (was hiding lots in bol sauce but he now won't eat that).

He also finds it very hard to eat if he is very tired. I've tried the calmly taking the food away and getting him down and not giving him anything else. Just means he wakes up at crack of dawn yelling for milk and then is even tireder and even less likely to eat.

Anyone with a similar child? and how do you deal with it?

Hi VV my DD was v. similar to this. I found she was at her worst between the ages of just under 2 until probably just over 3. Even my DS who is a brillant eater, currently 2.8 is in a "tough" stage about eating.

Light at the end of the tunnel first, DD now almost 6 is so much better at eating and trying new things. In fact on Mon said that brocoli wasn't that bad. After refusing it for almost 2 yrs.

Now how I got there. I found it really difficult until she could talk and then we could communicate about food a bit more. I would normally make something I know she would like, and then put a small bite of a "new" thing on the plate as well. And try and get her to taste it, she wasn't required to finish it, like it or even at time finish chewing it as long as she was willing to give it a go. I found that the old adage of trying something 20times to be true. So after she had tried something enough, even the tinist of bites. She would then accept this. It was a long process, but now she eats a wider variety (lamb, beef, chicken, duck, salmon) of meats. A number of veg & fruit. Pasta & bread have never been a problem.

When she was about 3.10 DS was well into weaning (and going great guns) I explained to her that when DS could eat at the family table (we all have dinner together at 6:30) I was no longer going to make her a special meal. This was about 10 mths warning, and then at each meal I would give her something from our meal.

Now we all eat the same meal, though the children may have different presentation (e.g. food items separate on plate, rather than mixed).

Make sure you fed him before he gets tired, this was always key with us. Next if DD isn't hungry, then she doesn't have to eat. Food is removed, but nothing until the next meal time. I would always allow a yogurt (sometimes 2) if food was refused as then at least they weren't starving in the morning.

Oh, lots of sympathy from me. Have 22-month old who is very similar. Like you, she used to devour spag bol - won't touch it now. I used to be able to rely on cheese sauce to hide chicken/fish and veg with pasta - won't touch it. I don't know whether I'm making a rod for my own back, but have found she seems to be more of a grazer - doesn't seem to get the idea of meals, as such. Won't feed when hungry, if you know what I mean. (She's stiil bf and I wonder if this ha something to do with it)

Anyway, we've had some success with peanut butter sandwiches cut with a cake cutter (with a tiny smear of nutella to tempt her , bad , I know but...)

I'm trying not to get too het up about veg if she eats fruit instead.

Hmm, not much else I can say but will watch this for hints myself.

Will add my DD also dropped things at this stage, but once over whatever phase it is, she did add them back in again quite quickly. I just decided it was a form of the control thing kids go through at this phase.

Hi there

Yes I think the inability to communicate is quite a lot of our problem. I am hoping that as he gets older, he will understand more. ATM I feel that he is trying to tell me things but can't (he isn't backward in speaking, but at 21 months NO is pretty much the only word he knows to express distaste!).

The problem is complicated emotionally and practically for me by the fact that I work full time (leave house at 7.15, back at 5.30) so my wonderful and long-suffering nanny is dealing with a lot of this and gets so disheartened when she cooks a load of stuff and he SIMPLY won't even try iy. SO I am conselling her as well as worrying myself.!

Tinker I think trying new sandwich fillings might be a thing - he used to eat more of therse but lately these too have been refused. I am HPOING this particularly bad phase is to do with teeth - he has been utterly fantastic about his teeth at night (I've never really been aware of teeth being an issue at night) but he does seem to have food issues when teething is particularly bad)

Yes, could be teeth. I'm rubbish at spotting teething, it's only later the penny drops that that was why she was a bit miserable. Oops.

Tinker my lovely nanny has just called to say that he has just eaten 4 squares of a peanut butter sandwich so that's progress.........

Anybody else advice/similar predicaments to make me feel I am not alone/positive stories...........??!!!

Hurray! He won't tomorrow of course

BUMP (am secretly hoping for more people to tell me their DC's are/have been just the same and that some of them miraculously started eating loads.)

I also worked when my DD was this age (I left at 6:30 home at 6:30-7pm) and found my DD did do better when she was eating with someone else. At nursery she ate almost everything they gave her and at her childminder, not as much as at nursery but more than at home. Does your nanny eat with him?