help me stay calm with dd's eating (or not eating)

[JeniN]

Hi all, just wondered if any mners had some wise words to help me through...

Dd 9 months has for the last couple of weeks refused to eat more than 1 or 2 mouthfuls of any of her main meals - mostly home made but refuses jars too - she will eat her yoghurt for pudding and will eat some finger foods too (has one minute tooth) although she cried about all of them tonight too. Me and DH came up with all sorts of reasons - sore from teething, wants to be independent and feed herself, not particulalry hungry etc etc. Only thing is she has continued to eat PERFECTLY NORMALLY at nursery 3 days per week. I am trying really hard - with some success - not to get into a battle about this, leaving longer for mealtimes and just making sure everything I offer her is reasonably nutritious so i don't mind what she eats and what she doesn't. But TBH its driving me nuts. Also the last two days she's refused two of her bottles each day which worries me a bit more - but this might be because we're away staying with rellies and she's missing home and her dad. Any experiences or advice gratefully appreciated

I'm having same problem with my DS (14 mths).

He spits out the food I give him and will only eat if he has a spoon in his hand - even if he's not using it to scoop up the food.

Maybe he wants to feel like he's feeding himself. Who knows? He's male. That explains a lot.

Yep, experience of it here..........sadly no advice on how to solve it as DS1 is still a fussy eater at 5years old.

In the end I just bought a suction bowl, stuck it to the high chair tray and left it to him, although he was abit older than 9 months when we did this. Messy but I didn't care, if he ate it that was good but I just tried not to get involved to much.

Horrid isn't it

Dont beat yourself about it. Thats the best advice I can give. Try not to second guess her reasons too, you'll just drive yourslef mad. Babies will be babies. I would keep offering her things she likes and make a massive fuss when she eats well. My 9 month old daughter claps when I say 'last one' because we always clap when she's finished her meal.
Dont worry that she wont eat jars, I wouldnt either and well done you for making your own.
Keep smiling and remember all phases really are short lived.

Not just me then? Last couple of mealtimes she has eaten some more of her hot food with both of us holding onto the spoon and she does seem to like that. Was trying not to make a big deal whether she ate or not, but actually that's a good point about making a really big deal when she does eat well - I'll try that.

I got a suction bowl from Ikea but she can pull it off really easily. Mind you, she is pretty violent like that. I can't imagine finding one that will survive her. Cheers for the replies.

My daughter wouldn't eat much either and went from the 50th centile thing to the red at the bottom from 6 months to 1 year. But she was always really healthy and I just stopped taking her to get weighed in the end. She's 6 and still skinny and pretty fussy but VERY healthy - one day off sick from school in 2 years!

I still have to try and avoid snacks between meals if she's going to eat her dinner.

I know it's hard but try to stay chilled out. I read somewhere that toddlers only need one big meal every 2 or 3 days so don't worry. She won't starve herself to death!

My oldest ds is 10 now and strong and healthy, never ill and full of energy. When he was about 9 months old he would not eat. Some days I would be lucky to get a small fromage frais into him the whole day. I used to be in despair, especially as my sister had a baby the same age who would eat absolutely anything. i dreaded mealtimes. He is still quite fussy, and will only eat certain things, but obviously what he is eating is good enough as he is so well. I know it doesn't mean much now, but things will get better. Try to relax more - I know its hard but like Curlysue says, she won't starve herself.

Try to feed her when you eat though - I think lots of kids have problems because they don;t see everyone else eat - I know one mum who never ever eats with her child and they have all sorts of problems if DD sees you and DP/DH eating she may think it is more of an everyday thing and not a battle and just give it to her and let her get into a mess that way you won;t even know how much she eats cause most of it will be plastering the walls.

Good Luck XXX

Thanks for the ideas and support. She's eaten a bit more some mealtimes and not others, but I am feeling more relaxed about it thanks to this.

havent read all the threadds but first thing you do is breath deeply my ds nine moths (seven teeth) went through the same thing so this is where you bargin yoghurt for breackfast thats one meal offer her her dinner with no dessert and tell her thats all shes haveing till tea and no dinner no desert tea time finger food something like chiken and chips for her tea mine loves that not compleatley healthy but my attitude food is food and then another yoghurt for supper sounds a bit odd i know but i did it and after a wekk he was eating what ever i put infront of him (except baked beans)

Drives you nuts doesn't it? My dd's 20 months now and goes through phases where she eats virtually nothing for a week or two, then suddenly eats really well for a while. I used to get very tense about it but I gave up around 14 months and just let her get on with it. I think when you realise that they cope on very little so long as they're drinking enough, you stop being so worried. They WILL eat if there's food and they want to.

I just wanted to say too that whenever we're away anywhere dd eats worse than at any other time. Especially at MIL's, there she's never ever sat down and eaten a meal and has fussed over drinking milk too. MIL subsequently thinks we're starving her ... sigh ...