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Original poster

The great food stand off chez Northerner: Who will win, ds aged 4 or me aged 30?

50 replies

northerner · 18/02/2007 17:27

Ds has controlled us with his eating for too long. Today I decided it stops.

Breakfast he ate frosties. Then he would normally snack all day (cheese, bread, crackers, fruit etc) then eat no lunch or dinner, unless I served fish fingers.

So today after frosties he has had nothing. Lunch was pasta with chicken and parmesan. He took one look and refused to eat. I have given him nothing since.

To give him hios credit, the little buggar is holding on. We have had whines for fruit or sandwiches, but I'm not budging!!

He has now suddenly lost the use of his legs and his writhing on the sofa with 'tummy ache' and only an apple will make it better....

Please remind me he is only 4, this is for his benefit. And I will win!!!!!!

OP posts:

colditz · 18/02/2007 20:44

You will win, I had this bloody game a few days ago but he has eaten every meal since!

Original poster

northerner · 18/02/2007 20:44

Gossip sounds interesting!!!

Will look forward to complete account tommorrow
xx

OP posts:

colditz · 18/02/2007 20:49

The problem is they are hungry, it's not like you're trying to make them eat when they are full, but they won't eat because they are holding out for something 'nicer'

And why the hell anyone would refuse pasta and parmasan chicken is beyond me, it sounds delicious. My ds would bite your hand off for it, his three favourite foods on one plate - pasta, chicken and cheese!

Dottydot · 18/02/2007 20:52

MrsDarcy - once we stood firm and didn't allow any kind of messing around, and no other substitute food to fill him up - bread and butter etc. - it only took a few days for the penny to drop!

Of course fresh battles commence nearly every tea time - including tonight when he started with a "I don't like this!" (sausage and potato wedges - he liked it last week...) and I just said "Right, well off you go then". He knew he had to either go, or eat his tea - which he did, so got a treat. That's the other rule - you have to eat all/nearly all tea to have a treat (couple of jelly babies/other trash usually).

Scootergirl · 18/02/2007 20:53

DD (3) is also a rubbish eater and a stroppy mare when she wants to be so we have, today, instigated a star chart with her three meals, plus two snacks, on and, I have to say, it's worked like a charm.
She was another refusnik but has tried everything today without much complaining.
Good on you though Northerner - stick to your guns!

colditz · 18/02/2007 20:55

Northener - when he has tears in his eyes and is begging for apples, biscuits and crisps - say this to yourself.

"I offered him a perfectly tasty and nutritious meal that he has had before, if he was hungry, he would have eaten at least some of it. therefore he just cannot be that hungry"

Original poster

northerner · 18/02/2007 20:58

Colditz - that is my new mantra

I feel good that I did not give in actually. It was hard, because he asked and asked and asked (you get the gist?) for something different but I did not relent.

If I feel like cracking I'll be back on here calling in the troops!

Thanks guys.

OP posts:

danceswithnewboots · 18/02/2007 21:11

Hey! Someone answer my question Is my ds too young to start doing what shall now be known as... 'the northerner technique'? He's 2yrs (just).

colditz · 18/02/2007 21:15

You could but 2 is a funny age, dances. If they are refusing a meal through fear of something new, I believe it is a bad idea to push the issue. And with 2 year olds, it is usually fear of Green. Or fear of Bits. Or fear of Wet.

With older ones, late threes and onwards, I think sometimes they are angling for something tastier, and would quite happily eat the meal on offer as long as they know biscuits will not be arriving in an hour's time.

danceswithnewboots · 18/02/2007 21:21

Thank you colditz Yes, I haven't really pushed it yet although I've been a bit cross with him about not eating things he has previously eaten. Although bizarrely today he WOLFED down a pancake stuffed with chicken, leeks and mushrooms (with a bit of stock and cremefraiche) - this is a child who will not eat vegetables....ARGH...food is such a nightmare with children.

colditz · 18/02/2007 21:22

Be prepared to make a lot of pancakes.

Original poster

northerner · 18/02/2007 21:25

2 years is a tricky one dances, but still if he refuses meals, offer nothing else. Do not fall into my trap, or you will be in my shoes in 2 yrs time..........

OP posts:

filthymindedvixen · 19/02/2007 10:19

colditz PMSL at 'fear of Green. Or fear of Bits. Or fear of Wet. '

my ds2 (6) tried mash yesterday (potato has not passed his lips for nigh on 5 years)He sobbed and gagged for around an hour afterwards.

Can we add fear of potato?

Northerner - Back to MSC. Erm, you can go for a nice walk. clamber of aforementioned climbing frame. Feed the ducks. enjoy the view. Marvel at the cave. Ditto, the stone teddies etc in the magic spring, get nagged for a shit snack in their skanky-smelly cafe, and get nagged for shit 'souvenirs' in their skanky 'gift' emporium.
(me: ''walk more boys. we've only had about £7 quid's worth of fun so far.''

Or you could walk on t'other side of river have a splendid lunch with free lolly at marigold's, invest £3.50 in hiring a rowing boat, row accross to the 'poncy' side and have an hour of fun, pelting the suckers with more money than sense with stale bread meant for ducks. That is what I shall do next time...

Original poster

northerner · 19/02/2007 10:26

Lol FMF, I shall tell dh that he was right and it is an absolue rip off. Glad we didn't go now.....

This morning ds woke at 6.10am demanding breakfast as he was staaaarvingggg, as I did not give him any food yesterday.....

For breakfast he ate 1 bowl of frosties, 1 croissant, 1 apple and 1 banana plus a yoghurt.

OP posts:

malaleche · 19/02/2007 11:00

Though I do not stick to this consistently myself {blush}it's better not to say things like 'if you eat all your lunch you'll get some pudding'. This just devides foods into desirable (usually the sweet stuff) and non-desirable (the nutritous, usually savoury, stuff).
Would Northerner's regime still work if you stuck to offering the morning and afternoon snacks (only one piece of fruit or whatever, nothing sweet) without letting them escalate into a substitute meal, even if main meals had been refused?
Just curious, DD1 3.4 yo has always been a good eater, only now starting to refuse some things or pick out the bits she doesnt like, i think its the influence of other kids at nursery. We rarely give her sweets and only the occasinal small sugar-free biscuit. If i give her a choice she'll sometimes even choose fruit over a biscuit! Don't know if al the credit is down to us and the healthy food regime or if we're just lucky...

Skyler · 19/02/2007 16:44

Oh dear. We have a consistent rule that there is no yoghurt /jelly/treat/pudding unless all (or nearly all) dinner is eaten unless there is a new food which they may dislike.
With regards to the 2 year old I don't know, he might be a little young for total refusal...Not sure. My dd2 is 20mths and we don't give her yoghurt unless she has had a good go at her dinner. I will let her have fruit though or bread left from her lunch. She is much fussier at the same age than dd1 though. DD1 used to eat everything. DD2 is slowly getting better. I just keep putting things on her plate and hoping. Today she ate a hard boiled egg for the first time. She has eaten them in sandwiches before but I think the texture has put her off a whole one. But today we had a breakthrough.
It is difficult not to make an issue of it isn't it? And I can take it so personally . I am never happier than when my family have eaten the food I served with no fuss. That is a real pleasure, hence we have Spaghetti Bolognaise once a week .
Good Luck today Northerner.
When dd1 wakes up hungry we won't give her her breakfast early either. She has to wait until the normal time and we explain why and then remind her how hungry she was the next meal time. That sometimes works
Someone will probably say I am f**ing up my dd's future eating habits but I hope not.

Jamantha · 19/02/2007 19:06

Hi filthyminded, re the mash thing I HATED mash as a child. Loathed. Detested., Abhored. Felt like I was gagging if I had to eat it. Nothing wrong with potatos, just mash. Was a texture thing. Now eat it very happily, but even so it has to have a bit of lumpiness to it, not keen on having it too smooth.

tracyk · 19/02/2007 20:58

I'm trying the complete opposite just now. ds is almost 3 and the days he has no nap - he is usually too tired for a proper dinner and not worth the tears to try and make him. So I do let him snack all afternoon - in the hope that by the time he goes to bed - he has had a sufficiency of all food groups.
However if he has a nap then I try and get him to eat a proper meal. But I'm a wimp and am not really very ambitious - usually stick to pasta, fish or pork burgers.

fransmom · 19/02/2007 23:36

oliveoil · 20/02/2007 10:46

if (when?!) mine refuse a meal, they get fruit after and that is it

I don't refuse the fruit as well

Millie1 · 20/02/2007 14:24

How are things now Northerner? Good for you taking this stance!

moondog · 20/02/2007 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

northerner · 21/02/2007 22:11

Things goink Ok actually. He had a friend for tea tonight (I invited a good eater ) and served cabbage with sausages and mash. Ds ate half his mash, all his sausages and 1 strand of cabbage. He did gag for ages after the cabbage tasting but nonetheless

So he didn't eat it all, but major improvement. I'm sticking with it.

But yesterday was chilli and rice which he refused and went to bed hungry again.......

OP posts:

Dottydot · 21/02/2007 22:13

Blimey - that's brilliant!

Millie1 · 21/02/2007 23:24

You're doing great - well done!

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