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Original poster

So do you lot all let your kids help themselves to whatever they like, whenever they like, from the kitchen then?

100 replies

Enid · 30/01/2007 11:07

Am I alone in expecting my children (7, 4 and negligible) to ask before getting a snack?

(other than fruit bowl which they take stuff from whenever)

OP posts:

scatterbrain · 30/01/2007 11:45

Actually now I think of it I have more trouble with dh who will happily eat the ingredients for tomorrows dinner, put empty packets and bottles back in the cupboards and generally leave a lot of mess in the kitchen !

foxinsocks · 30/01/2007 11:45

mine don't have to ask but do largely because they know they shouldn't have a snack too near tea time and their time telling is not quite there yet.

Also, mine are still at the age where they'd eat 10 apples in a row because they like the taste rather than being sensible iyswim

Aloha · 30/01/2007 11:46

Mine are two and five and ask (I don't let them eat what they want or they would subsist on biscuits if we had any). My 15 year old usually does but doesn't have to. I would never call it stealing if they did take food to eat - that seems absurdly strong language. My objections are on the grounds of health and practicality - ie you can't eat cheese/biscuits two minutes before I put your lunch in front of you.

marthamoo · 30/01/2007 11:51

Mine ask - they are 9 and 5. Drinks they help themselves, though ds2 is only allowed to get water as he's a bit lethal given free range with a carton of juice.

I've never really thought about it but, if I had to justify it, my reasons would be:

I don't want them to have a snack just before I put dinner on the table and then not be hungry for their meal.

I don't want to go to the fridge for a yoghurt for their packed lunches and find there aren't any because they've been noshing on them throughout the day.

Mine even ask for fruit - I just think it's polite. It's not "mummy...please...I'm starving...if I prostrate myself in supplication may I have an apple?" it's more like "is it OK if I have an apple?" to which the answer will be yes.

Zog · 30/01/2007 11:56

Am at this thread. At the moment, mine ask for everything, even fruit. This is because ds (aged 8) loves apples and would quite happily eat his way through the whole bag (I stop him after 3) and dd1 (aged 6) is the same with bananas. I thought that non-stop snacking was supposed to be a bad thing? Why would I want to encourage it? What are all these snack-type foods that kids around the country are tucking into whenever they feel like it?

Agree with Marthamoo the most, I think.

marthamoo · 30/01/2007 11:59

Oh no, Zog, don't agree with me - I've just read the other thread and it appears I am a control freak who will give my children ishoos with food

Zog · 30/01/2007 12:03

Well quite

Jelley · 30/01/2007 12:04

Minealways ask, but I wasn't really aware of it until I thought about it. They can always have fruit and drinks and will make sandwiches if they are still hungry after tea.

I don't keep sweet snacks in the house so they aren't available, and I do restrict access to dried fruit as it has a laxative effect on dd2, but she loves it.

I think asking is a habit. DD1 asks to go to the toilet (sheis7) despite the fact that every time she asks I tell her she doesn't need to ask, and I would not ever say no!

Jelley · 30/01/2007 12:04

Minealways ask, but I wasn't really aware of it until I thought about it. They can always have fruit and drinks and will make sandwiches if they are still hungry after tea.

I don't keep sweet snacks in the house so they aren't available, and I do restrict access to dried fruit as it has a laxative effect on dd2, but she loves it.

I think asking is a habit. DD1 asks to go to the toilet (sheis7) despite the fact that every time she asks I tell her she doesn't need to ask, and I would not ever say no!

Original poster

Enid · 30/01/2007 12:05

lol dd2 asks to go to the loo too

I think its a leftover from pre-school thing

OP posts:

Sherbert37 · 30/01/2007 12:07

They always ask, even DS1 nearly 13. Sort of unwritten rule and also polite. Rarely say no but they know better than to ask for anything 'illegal'. DD would eat all the biscuits in the cupboard in one sitting if allowed (nearly 12 and thin as a rake, but even so). Didn't cross my mind that there would be children up and down the country raiding cupboards at will. I was never allowed to.

Bugsy2 · 30/01/2007 12:12

Mine (7 & nearly 5) are allowed to help themselves. I don't have stuff in the house I don't want them to eat.
They always eat their meals & I'm glad they have a degree of self sufficiency.

tortoiseSHELL · 30/01/2007 12:54

no, I make them ask too.

Greensleeves · 30/01/2007 13:06

Mine are not allowed in the grown-up fridge or food cupboards. The have their own mini-fridge which is kept next to our fridge whixh they are allowed to take a snack from if they are hungry and it isn't too close to a meal time. I put things like bowls of chopped fruit, carrot/cucumber sticks, occasionally pieces of flapjack, babybels and a bottle of diluted apple juice. I put little plates/cups on top of the fridge, so they kow to get a plate/cup, take what they want and go to the table to eat it. They're actually much better behaved with it than I though they would be, they only take little bits at a time and they put their plates/cups in the sink when they've finished.

I have seen it said on MN that it's disgusting to let your children have a fridge. I disagree, obviously

MamaGstring · 30/01/2007 13:07

same as you Enid - have to ask, but can help themselves to fruit

scatterbrain · 30/01/2007 13:07

I think that's a fabulous idea Greensleeves - wish I had space for a mini fridge !!!

Best thing I've read today !

oxocube · 30/01/2007 13:08

They are supposed to ask but esp older 2 (11 and 9) often make themselves some toast or a sandwich after school. Fruit is always allowed. They do sometimes sneak stuff without asking though and then try to hide the evidence (eg bicuit wrappers) cause they know I'll get cross.

Bozza · 30/01/2007 13:11

Mine ask but I have never really enforced that as a conscious decision. DS doesn't notice hunger/thirst so would never come and ask for a banana or a slice of bread or even a drink. I have to offer them to him. He will however ask for sweets. I don't buy them to keep in but we get party bags or whatever. DD (2) is always asking for a breadstick or a peice of cheese. And I do try and limit this if it is nearly a mealtime because it does have a significant effect on her meal.

FluffyMummy123 · 30/01/2007 13:12

Message withdrawn

franca70 · 30/01/2007 13:13

mine always ask, they are 4 and a half and 2.8

Bozza · 30/01/2007 13:13

I think greensleeves that the disgusting thing was about a fridge in a bedroom. Having one next to your fridge is rather different.

Greensleeves · 30/01/2007 13:13

Why freaky cod?

drifter · 30/01/2007 13:13

My children take whatever they want when they want it. I suppose it's partly a reaction to being a child myself when I needed permission to breathe!

eviletc · 30/01/2007 13:13

mine have to ask. even for fruit. because otherwise they would just eat eat eat and then not eat meals.
and i know this would happen.
because we tried it on holiday

vnmum · 30/01/2007 13:26

this is quite interesting as i have just started a snack table this morning with my DS (14 months). after concerns about his weight i was advised to give more snacks. he is still breastfed on demand and has free access to water to drink aswell.

on his snack table he has a selection of dried and fresh fruit and fresh veg then i will offer biscuit or toast once a day.

the theory is that he will nibble through the day on his snacks when hungry but should regulate himself and still eat his meals.

i am not so sure!!
when i put his snacks out he didnt leave the table other than to see what i was doing, with a stuffed to bursting mouth, then went back to the table.

i am going to monitor him to see if its the novelty or if hes just going to gorge himself as i still want him to eat his meals and i dont want him to fill up on snacks too much then start refusing the breast

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