Crying when eating

[manna]

my ds (6 mnths) has, in the last couple of weeks, cried when he eats. It happens sometimes at lunch and frequently at tea time. He has savoury solids then pudding (banana, soya yoghurt, fruit etc). It starts if I put him in his chair while I get his meal ready. It sounds like anxiety / hunger. When I feed him if I shovel it in fast enough he'll sometimes stop, or sometimes get worse. He only stops when I offer him a drink, which he will gulp down (most of the time) and then I can go back to the solids and alternate like this. It doesn't seem to matter what he's eating, except he doesn't do it at breakfast (banana porridge) or dessert time. Is it a sweet tooth (not liking savoury stuff as much?), anxiety because he's hungry welling up until he gets himself into a tizz and can't cope? overtired? overhungry? under hungry? He's a gf baby and all other areas are fine. He also eats well (at least 6 cubes veg & chicken / fish / pulses + whole small mashed banana with yoghurt). However, I just hate the fact that he doesn't seem to enjoy it, and now I'm not enjoying it either......

My DD (7 mths) is exactly the same. I think it is the sweet tooth thing. Grizzles while on the savoury and then stops when I switch to dessert and does big mouth opens for it. Will hardly take any drink and no problems at breakfast. Hoping it is something she will grow out of.

My ds isnt v.happy at mealtimes either at the moment. He has always eaten well (GF vcb) and still opens his mouth to let the food in so I assume he's hungry and likes the food. A friend has suggested that he could be fed up with the high chair. He is 11mo. Has anyone else experienced this? Manna could this be your problem? I had hoped the high chair would last a bit longer. When did you all stop using yours and what did you do instead?

Teeth? Is dessert softer and thus easier to eat/easier on the gums?

I don't think it's the chair as he's only 6 mnths and will happily sit and play in it after a meal. I thought it might beteeth but all his food's still pretty mushy, so he isn't biting on it. Anyway, isn't it bottles that make babies cry if they're teething? Reager, glad (sort of) to hear someone else has the same problem. My ds has never had sugar, petit filou, anything sweet apart from fruit really. He only ever gets a bit after a lot of savoury stuff first. How could he develop such a sweet tooth? I thought if you were careful in the early months and limited sweet things they wouldn't?

Surely babies are born with a sweet tooth? Breast milk is extremely sweet so it is full of calories to help them grow. If babies weren't supposed to naturally enjoy sweet things they surely wouldn't like breast or formula milk. Also, I thought that babies instinctively disliked sour and bitter tastes to a. encourage them to eat plenty of calories which they need to grow and b. avoid potentially off or tainted or poisonous substances. I tend to think we worry too much about a bit of sugar in the diet (which isn't to say I think babies should be stuffed full of sweets and Coke). Babies do need a different diet to adults - eg more fat and calories relative to their size than we need.

I'm not worried about him eating sweet stuff - it just makes me sad and frustrated the way he crys, that's all. He cried from the moment he saw his food this evening. What CAN I do?

Sounds like he is really ready for his meal when you pop him in his chair so he may be getting really frustrated by the time the food gets to him. So could you feed him earlier and not put him in his chair until the food is sitting there? Does he get a chance to wave a spoon around and have a little explore?

I found that around the 6 month stage ds refused to take anything off a spoon as he wanted to feed himself even though he didn't have all the skills to do so. I let him have finger foods (ripe pear, rice cakes) and made his other food into thick soups that he could sip them himself from an open beaker with handles. It seemed to satisfy his desire to be self sufficient and after a week I produced a yogurt and spoon and fed him in the bath. I find the evening bath a good time to top up on food. As the day goes on and they get tired they sometimes get too narky to feed even though it's hunger they are feeling. The warm relaxed place makes them more responsive again.

I think it must be quite stressing to go through this all the time. Actually, could you find someway of avoiding the chair for a week?

Actually my ds also went through a stage of crying in his chair, so I fed him on my lap for a while (went through a lot of t-shirts and started dreaming of a big bib with sleeves for me). Now I give him toys on his tray and he's much happier and I also usually give him a spoon to 'feed himself' with which he happily plays with and bangs on the tray. He still cries after he's been there a while so I try to feed him his main course quickly and sometimes end up giving him pudding on my lap or while sitting in his playnest. I also try to feed him before he gets too hungry, but if he is getting v hungry and i think he'll be frustrated waiting for me to prepare the meal I give him a breadstick or biscuit or rice cake to munch on and distract him as well as a toy to bang on the tray. My ds also eats more at lunch than tea time and, if I accidentally delay tea he gets over tired and hardly eats anything and cries - so I really try to feed him by 5pm. Hope something works for you both soon.

My ds can handle rice cakes, but I can't imagine him eating ripe pear without gnawing off a huge bit and choking on it. Even with no teeth he seems to manage to snap large bits off anything I give him! Today I will try to:
a) feed him by 5pm
b) get his food ready first
c) give him his own spoon. How do you stop them getting it all over, or more importantly, jamming the spoon so far into his month that he gags?
d) give him a small snack mid morning & mid afternoon to ward off excess hunger.
Wish me luck

manna, try tying a piece of pear in a piece of open weave muslin. He won't be able to bite off huge bits, but will get the pear sieved through the cloth. Works well with apples too.

lunch was a DISASTER. I gave him a rice cake to keep him going, then tried feeding him at 11.15 so he didn't get over hungry. He started crying immediately. does anyone think he could be not hungry, rather than over hungry? He eats breakfast at 7.30am, so maybe lunch at 11.15 is too early? Gf says 12pm by now, but I always thought he was grumpy by 11ish because he was hungry and that being so big he couldn't wait that long- perhaps I was wrong & he's just grumpy? Now I'm worried I've been force feeding him - so he went to sleep without much lunch, I gave him some milk instead just before he went down. Oh dear - what a mess! The saddest thing is he used to love eating- is it my fault that he's doing this now because he has the wrong associations?

manna

oh dear! ds also used to get grumpy at mealtimes and i finally came to the conclusion that he used to get bored... he loves his finger foods, but doesn't seem to have much patience with spoon feeding. what we have found useful is to swap the order of his meals. i used to give him his finger food first while getting his "main course" ready - i think this filled him up and by the time the rest turned up the edge had been taken off his hunger and he was looking for new distractions... now what i do is either give him the main meal first and finger foods later or just give him a little bit of rice cracker etc to be getting on with. i've noticed he is less grumpy and more ready to eat.

i'm going to try another strategy shortly, giving him his food in sandwiches so that he can feed himself more.

i've done my best to give him plenty of different flavours, avoid sugar, salt and give him healthy stuff, but nevertheless, he is quite fussy and prefers sweet tastes - plus he doesn't eat much either. sigh.

i'm sure many people will disagree, but at 10m i think he is too young to feed himself with a spoon - although i always give him one to hold while i'm feeding him - it amuses him briefly! "mummy has a spoon, and baby has a spoon!" being a regular mealtime chant in our house!

we also used to take "time out" from meals if he seemed to be getting irritable - i would sing songs, or give him a toy to play with for a few minutes, this sometimes did the trick.

manna, there could be many factors putting him off at the moment, he could be getting ill, he could be teething, it could be the chair, it could be frustration that he can't feed himself, it may be that you will never work it out and have to resort to the parents' mantra "it's only a phase, it's only a phase, it's only a phase"

anyway, try not to let it stress you too much, i'm sure you haven't given him bad associations, most likely it will resolve itself in a few days or sooner.

good luck!

Manna, does he cry when you put him down for other reasons like nappy changing? do you have a beanbag or similar where he could recline rather than sit? dd didn't like her chair much at that age, especially being strapped in, so it's just a thought.

Thanks, guys. Actually, he loves his chair, I think, as he loves sitting up and joining in. It's one of those ones you fasten to the table, so he's really one of us. He never liked reclining or lying on his back. His favourite position is in the chair or bolt upright in my lap.....! He's happy to play in the chair after his breakfast, and at other times too. I tried tea at 5pm today, not 5.15 - 5.30pm as normal, and it was much better. Only a little squeal towards the end when I was slow with his banana & yoghurt- honestly, sometimes you feel like you've got this mini mussolini when it comes to wanting things NOW !
I hate to admit it, but I think it may be because I've strayed too far from gina's path . His breakfast is half hour later than suggested and lunch half hour earlier, so as my mum suggested this afternoon, maybe he just isn't hungry? SO - tomorrow we start on the straight and narrow. Up at 7am, breakfast straight away, lunch 11.45 - 12pm etc. and see how it goes. Just my bloody luck if it all goes like clockwork and serves me right for straying from the 'True Path'

Oh dear, it looks like I didn't know a thing about whether your child liked their chair.

Anyhow, not got the make-up to be a Gina Mum so will leave you to it and the true path.

So glad to hear DD isn't the only one who cries or doesn't eat much etc at these times. I've discovered that she gets more interested in the food at the moment if I put it on my finger rather than the spoon! Interesting. Messy, but not as messy as the on the lap feeding I'm sure you will agree. It all sounds so familiar, the preference for sweet foods etc, trying not to give sugary stuff and all that. i thought she'd be wolfing down three meals a day by now but she's still very hit and miss. Also, avoiding wheat, dairy and sugar makes life even more complicated.

Manna I wish you luck with the various things to try out, it's all such a guessing game isn't it, is she hungry, not hungry, in pain, tired, bored, or any of the other 1000 emotions we all feel.

Just wanted to say thanks for bringing up the subject of tricky feeding for this age group, it's made me feel less worried.

I forgot to ask, does anyone know why DD seems to strain during mealtimes? It's as though she wants to eat the food but sometimes after taking a mouthful she cries and strains as though she has tummyache. It's wierd and sad. Seems strange that it only happens at mealtimes, if it's normal wind pain. She's nearly 8 months so we are well past the colic nightmare.

Manna, I have been analysing my dd since you posted this topic. She is ok if someone in the room is having a conversation for her to watch or if she has something interesting to play with like the baby wipes packet or an empty box or a big wooden spoon. Seems to take her mind off it and just does mouth openings. Also, sometimes an over the should burp in the middle helps (for her not me!) Seems to start crying when the only thing happening is her being fed.

I wonder if your son isn't over hungry. Have you tried giving him a small snack in between meals. I find that my son needs a small something between breakfast(around 8 am) and lunch (around 12:30-1:00) and definitely a good snack around 3 as he eats his dinner with us at 7:00. Breakfast doesn't seem to be too much of an issue...maybe his stomach is still waking up. My son is 18 months and has been eating solids since 6 months. He is still in a high chair. He started insisting on feeding himself around 10 months. This doesn't mean he was actually able to do so...so meal time got very messy for awhile. I have always had to prepare his food before I put him in his high chair or he will start complaining at the top of his voice until some food shows up (isn't this typical male behavior?)...I have always had a sippee cup (with handles) with water on his tray so that he can help himself to water during his meal whenever he wants to. He got the hang of using it on his own very early. Good luck.

malmomum - I was only joking, you know

I thought at first he was over hungry, but now I think under hungry! I did the snacks mid morning and mid afternoon, but lunch was worse yesterday. As he's always been a very enthusiatic eater, I have to presume it's not the food itself, but the timing or positioning (if you like)

Reager - i do sing to him sometimes, which seems to help. The best thing is if he can not even start crying, as once he starts he seems to get so het up. It's funny, because he never cries otherwise, unless he get's a fright or is really ready for a nap, and then just for a few mins, totally different than this.

Purp - do you think your babe is just going to the loo? My ds often strains just after a meal - it's like the food starts everything up. As my hv said in the early days 'if it goes in one end it's got to come out the other'. As their little bodies are so small, everything must be effected really quickly.

Breakfast was good today - here we go with lunch!

Like pisces 1965 suggested, could be teeth. My dd was fine until she started teething, then for a while at a time meals became a battle. As with you, breakfast was fine, but as the day wore on she got more weary, and I assume her teeth ached a bit more. By teatime we were lucky to get away with many savoury solids at all - tho' the softer desserts worked well. Water soothed her in between as it was cool on her gums. As soon as teeth popped thru, there was a marked improvement - 'til the next one! We're currently battling with no 4....

that's interesting leese - thats exactly what ds is like - maybe it is teeth? I shall have a peek at his gums first thing tommorrow, but anow he's just gone down so where's my vodka & tonic.....?

low and behold: wednesday morning - his first tooth! Thanks everyone for your kind advice - I shall know what to expect in future. He's back on his food now

Good news manna! Have a bit of respite 'til the next one!