***JIMJAMS*****

[tortoiseSHELL]

After reading what you were saying on that other thread about your ds2 and his eating issues, I wanted to ask you about what tactics you're using with him, as he sounds quite like ds1, but thought I'd start a new thread for it, as that one is quite long now!

Do you manage to get him to eat, and if so, how? You mentioned textures - I think this is an issue with ds1 too. Ds1 also has anxiety around food - he is 'scared' of eating it. Last night we had a horrible fight, because I wanted him to eat 1 piece of carrot, and he wouldn't, and he is SO strong-minded. However, after an hour and a half of him screaming 'You DIE' at us, I tricked him, by mashing it into his shepherds pie, so it was invisible, then when he had swallowed two mouthfuls, telling him it was carrot, and after that he voluntarily ate 1 mouthful of 'mashed carrot'. He now says 'I like carrots, but only mashed ones.' So it was worth it I think, as this has doubled his veg repertoire (before was only peas!).

If you have found any magic tips, I'd love to hear them, I'm doing very badly with ds1!!! Thanks!

.

Well I sent a video of mealtimes to our consultants in the US (we are doing a home programme for ds1) and they sent me some handy tips about ds2.

They said

(1) he is not to say 'that's yuck' he is to say 'that's not to my taste'
(2) Completely ignore any fussing
(3) postively reinforce regularly nice sitting and eating.

What I do with ds2 now is to give him the dinner and tell him if he eats it nicely without fussing then he will get a velcro cat (it goes on a board we have), when he gets five he gets a present. Whilst he's eating nicely I tell him how good he's being. If he carries on fussing I tell him that he doesn't have to eat the food he can get down, but he won't get pudding or a velcro cat.If he carries on I give him 5 minutes to finish and tell him that if he hasn't eaten it in that time then I will take it away (I only give him a very small portion in the first place). If he fusses but eats he gets pudding, no cat. If he fusses and doesn't eat then he gets nothing (that's only happened once though).

Keeping it positive works much better, so 'ooh you're so close to getting another cat' 'look just a few mre mouthfuls and you'll get a cat' 'what lovely eating' works the best.

I do need 2 people though as ds1 is usually hanging from the ceiling, doing something hideous. Oh and I always reinforce nice eating when its something he likes as well (like last night- buckwheat pancakes and lots of praise for eating so well, and a velcro cat).

Do you tend to give him food you know he likes, or a little bit of something new as well? Something to stick on the fridge is a good idea - I'd thought of a marble jar, but something actually in the kitchen would be better, because he can see it as he's eating. Ds1 actually seems to be afraid of putting new food in his mouth!

Thanks!

Well I think part of the problem was that ds1 was on such a restricted diet for a long time ds2 only ate certain textures. I now gve him the same as everyone else. Probably 2 meals a week are of the casserole/lasagne/mashed potato type that I know he hates. I give him small portions of those and if he has a good go without fussing then I wouldn't make him eat it all. TBH I tend to reinforce his behaviour around eating rather than worry about how much he actually eats iyswim.

He has been sick a couple of times at the table- but he's been realy told off for that. I sound mean, and he does have sensory issues, but on the other hand his eating is so bad at the moment it would be unhealthy if I wasn't a bit mean.

Oh I also realy praise ds3 for eating nicely (he does- he loves proper food).

Oh, the other thing I wanted to ask you was whether you thought ds2 was entirely because he was vying for attention at mealtimes, or if he had a physical reason as well.

With ds1, I'm sure it's a combination. He is very like a friend of his who is autistic - before his dx, his mum and I would compare them, as they were extremely similar in things they would eat/circumstances they would eat them in! Her youngest also copies his brother - she always describes them as 'ds2 who is autistic and ds3 who behaves as if he is'.

Thanks again!

xposted! That does sound very like ds1 - he doesn't cope at all with a casserole/lasagne type meal. He hates mashed potato (or any potato!) - his favourite would be pasta, rice, peas and cheese, all spread out so nothing's touching! He has never eaten a 'piece' of meat (as opposed to mince iyswim). He has made himself sick as well.

I felt very mean about the carrot last night, but it did have a positive outcome.