fussy eater dilemna

[Sugarmagnolia]

DS has always been a fussy eater and I've never let it get to me too much - I know he won't starve - but now it seems to be getting worse and I'm getting a bit fed up. So here's the dilemna:

Do you a)cater to the fussy eater's wishes and just let him eat peanut butter sandwiches or scrambled egg for dinner every night or do you b)keep trying to expose him to a wide range of foods and hope that ends up getting enough to eat.

He will of course eat things like fish fingers & chicken nuggets along with plain pasta (no sauce), some fruit & veg & some types of soup. But he will not touch any fresh fish, meat, chicken, sauces, baked beans and has recently added peas, sweetcorn and chips(!) to the list of things he used to like but will no longer eat. His sister is such a good eater (salmon, lemon sole, chicken legs, chicken stir fry, shepherd's pie, bolognaise, jacket potatoes with beans, tuna & sweetcorn etc, etc) that it's really begining to frustrate me.

I've always been of the opinion that if you keep exposing them to a wide variety of foods and ask them to taste very small portions of things they will eventually learn to eat more things. He's just getting worse. Whatever I make for him he wants "something else". So do I give him whatever is for dinner (even if it's a scaled down version of what hi sister is eating) and tell him that's all that's on offer and if he doesn't eat it he'll be hungry. Or do I just give in and let him eat peanut butter on toast every night. The problem is that if he knows he's going to be offered a second option he has absolutely no incentive to eat the first one.

How old is he?

When they're under 3 or so, I tend to try both options - for some meals, I offer things I know they'll eat, other times they have to just cope. If they don't eat well for the main bit, they never get a dessert afterwards.

When they're over three or so, I get tougher. They have to try everything that's served. By this point, my DS1 was a reasonably easy eater, and he's become excellent since then, and will really just eat anything.

sugar you could be describing my ds'. I have one that will eat anything and the other one eat very little, fish fingers, sausages, burger, waffles, tho he is getting better he will now eat a jacket potato with cheese, he has just discovered that he loves pasta and he will eat a bowl of plain pasta, bagels and sweet waffles. We try not too push too many new things on him and i go, he will normally choose something that he decides he would like to try, eg bagels he decided 2 weeks ago he would like to try them monday he told me he was ready to taste them so tuesday we bought them and he really like them. As long as he is eating something I wouldnt worry too much.

He's 3 1/2 - I've always gone for the "you have to at least taste it" method which worked brilliantly for DD. Sometimes she discovered new things she liked, other times she didn't like whatever it was and I wouldn't push her to eat more of it.

DS on the other hand makes such a fuss - cries, chokes etc. I really can't face it! And because he's so fussy I never give dessert as a rule anyway - IF they've both eaten a good meal I might suprise them with ice cream or something for a treat.

a friend of mine is a 'food therapist' and i asked her advice on this subject for a friends ds who is so fussy he makes yours look like gordon ramsey.
her advice is keep offering him the foods you used to, or what the rest of the family is having, the more you cater for their fussiness, the more you narrow down what they will eat, til it becomes less and less.
She did say that portion size is very important, if you know he will only eat one mouthful of sweetcorn for example, then only serve him that amount, then you can praise him for clearing his plate.
HTH

Portion size advice very sensible.

I'm afraid I got very hardcore with DS1 at about that age. He was eating reasonably well, but would also just say "ewwww" at some foods and not try them.

So we had a new set of rules for the dinner table:

• you must try everything. You don't have to like it, but you do have to try it.
• you cannot say 'eww' or 'disgusting' or make a fuss. If you do, you will leave the table, no tea, no nothing. End of. (He is five now. I think I have made him leave the table twice. Total.)

I do always tend to have other options, and I can cope with them deciding they'd like some bread, after they've had a small but non-trivial serving of the main course.

Keep giving him whatever is for dinner. My dd1(7) - a reasonable good eater - has friends over for tea sometimes and feeding them is a nightmare. One has had the same dinner every night for 3 years (and it doesn't contain any meat, fish or vegetables). Another is always offered the family's meal, but since she knows that there is a plate of chicken nuggets waiting in the oven always refuses the first option. It is hard though, ds (5) can be a bit picky and dd2 (2) refuses to eat any vegetables she can see (ie those not in a sauce) but have been serving them up to her (and putting them in the bin afterwards) for what seems months in the hope that she will too come round in the end. Bloody annoying though!

thanks everyone - some very good advice here and I think pretty much what I wanted to hear. I was worried I was being too hard on him but you've strengthened my resolve! So some new rules I think:

1)must at least taste everything
2)must eat at least a small portion of things I know he will eat even if they are not what he "prefers"
3)may not say "ewww", pretend to choke, cry or otherwise make a fuss
4)if the above conditions have been met and he still wants "something else" then some plain bread or toast or fruit can be had

I do think there are exceptions to the "taste everything" rule though - if he tasted salmon, for example, last week, and didn't like it I think I would leave it for a month or two before getting him to try it again.