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Original poster

At what age do they learn to feed themselves?

25 replies

karen99 · 26/05/2004 16:47

Hi, my ds is 11 months and he can hold a spoon and guide it into his mouth aslong as I've done the 'scoop' for him and piled the food on. Having said that he feeds himself with a spoon from a framagefrais pot if I hold the pot at a sideways angle and turn it round occasionally! I haven't worked up the courage to just 'let him loose' so he learns how to scoop the food up (a possible messy-phobia?). Am I holding him back by not letting him do this? (Obviously yes! but I need some help with this hurdle!) He is an expert at finger food.

At what age did yours learn how to feed themselves? How did you approach the messy plunge?

Any advice appreciated

OP posts:

Nutcracker · 26/05/2004 16:51

Hi Karen, My Ds is 18mths and I have just started to let him feed himself and ignore the mess. I just give him the plate/dish and a spoon and fork and let him get on with it.
If when i've fininshed my dinner he is messing rather than eating then i go and help him (much to his disgust).

Can you not put a splash mat under his chair ??

littlemissbossy · 26/05/2004 16:53

Hi karen, I have some wonderful photos of my ds at this stage including one with the contents of a dish poured over his head. Let your ds make a mess, it's the only way he'll learn )

dinosaur · 26/05/2004 16:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Penguin2 · 26/05/2004 17:11

My ds3 is 15 months. He showed no interest in feeding himself with a spoon until about 4 weeks ago. Now he is interested, I am letting him get on with it, although he insists on holding the spoon upside down and drops most of the food down his front. Wait for your ds to show an interest (he will eventually) Accept the mess as part of the process. A nice big plastic bib helps.

CODalmighty · 26/05/2004 17:13

ditto to penguin ds3(14m) rather masterful with a fork now. get a sharp one though asnt he blunt ones are useless

you do as the others say , have to let them get it sooo wrong before they get it right

Original poster

karen99 · 26/05/2004 17:27

Arrgh - and I knew you'd all say that!

Yes, he prefers to put the spoon in upside down and it just goes everywhere...!

Well he seems to have the interest some days and not others. Do you think 11months is too early? Are the sleeved bibs worth it? Hmmm, could move his highchair into the middle of the kitchen! I guess it's a hangup knowing he's going to be messy. It's hard accepting it.. (but it's not like I'm a cleanaholic or anything!) but like you say coddy, have to let them get it sooo wrong before they get it right! ARrrggh!

OP posts:

CODalmighty · 26/05/2004 17:29

yes and it really pisses me off each time but now we seem tobe coming out of it.

Original poster

karen99 · 26/05/2004 17:31

ACtually it never dawned on me to think about the 'coming out of it..' I guess it will one day stop being an absolute mess. That has given me hope.. dare I try it tonight?!

OP posts:

frogs · 26/05/2004 20:33

You don't have to, Karen. Evil, incredibly anal, cleaning-shy mother here, just fed them or gave them finger food until they were capable of using a spoon without too much mess (sorry, can't remember when that was).

Piffleoffagus · 26/05/2004 20:35

my dd aged 19 mths has not enough patience to feed herself, the food is there she wants it at breakneck speed... She does attempt the spoon sometimes when her initial hunger has subsided (read gannet)
she can finger feed herself anything though

Ixel · 26/05/2004 20:38

Ds is 6 1/2 months, and will snatch a loaded spoon and shove it in his mouth, sucking for dear life till its empty. Is he an abnormal gannet?!

Hulababy · 26/05/2004 20:45

DD started feeding herself finger food at about 6 months and feeding herself with a sppon around a year old. Before that she tried but I helped a bit too. She has always been very independent and I remember her at 8 months feeding herself Christmas dinner - all cut up small enough for her to use fingers to do so. She is now just turned 2 and I can't remember the last time I feed her.

And yes, at times it was messy - splash mat on the floor, big bib - or stripped off if at home. But without the mess they don't learn IME.

Tommy · 26/05/2004 20:49

Oh dear....DS1 is 2y4m and still doesn't like eating from a spoon himself - although, to be fair to him, he doesn't eat much that he can't eat with his fingers!
I alsways feel like a bad Mummy when I see other toddlers eating their shepherds pie or whatever from their spoon or fork (noticeable my nephew!) but hey, other things to worry about!!

SoupDragon · 26/05/2004 20:52

37?

muddaofsuburbia · 26/05/2004 21:00

Hi Karen!

Ds started using a spoon by himself just before 14 mths. I knew he was ready cos he point blank refused to let me feed him and grabbed the spoon from me! At first I loaded the spoon for him but he soon got the hang of it (in a couple of mouthfuls!!)

We've got cuttlery from Boots which is kind of bent so it's easier to scoop food IYSWIM.

If you go for sleeved bibs, get some wipe clean ones rather than towelling ones otherwise you'll be washing constantly (unless you buy loads of 'em!)

I got 3 of the bright sleeved bibs in different colours from the Baby catalogue (site won't let me link) - they go down past ds' knees for maximum mess thwarting

muddaofsuburbia · 26/05/2004 21:01

eeek - cuTlery!

elliott · 26/05/2004 21:04

karen - your ds sounds similar to mine - he grabbed a spoon and started using it just before he turned one. So I don't think he's too young. I think I mostly did let him get on with it - and I know that I got to the stage where he was self sufficient feeding long before the majority of his peers (he's two and a half now). IMO I'd rather clear up mess than have to spoon feed him (and much easier when you have a second baby to look after....)

phatcat · 26/05/2004 21:05

just started on this with my ds (13mo) - I put a couple of spoonfuls of his food into a separate bowl and give him that with his own spoon - it limits the mess (a bit) and if he throws it around there's more left.

It's the timing I find difficult - bath first, so he can take his time eating, but then has to eat in PJs with me hovering anxiously in case they get covered (cover-up bib only covers top-half), or food first but then have to wait a while for it to digest and he's over-tired for his bath.

twogorgeousboys · 26/05/2004 21:21

DS1 was 11 months when he got really possessive about who had the spoon and DS2 is doing the same thing at exactly the same age. We have a spoon each. He has a cover-all bib with sleeves etc. I save newspapers and put them down in the middle of the kitchen floor, surrounding the high chair at breakfast time,(ds1 helps to do this). Then we just go for it. Often, I can keep the newspaper down and just bin it at the end of the day, otherwise I'll replace a really mucky bit.

ReallyHip · 26/05/2004 21:47

I am paranoid 21 month old DD not getting enough to eat at nursery. Settling in for my imminent return to work. She can do it, but doesn't do it consistently and is starving (and grumpy) when she gets home. Have asked them to help her and I know they will, but also know it is busy and they may not have as much time to give her as I would.

Any advice on encouraging self feeding at home?

Ghosty · 27/05/2004 09:04

ReallyHip ...
My DS was not very good at self feeding until he was quite old either. I made it worse by feeding him because a) it was quicker b) he ate more and c) it made less mess ...
I think the best thing to do is to give DD a spoon of her own and you feed her at the same time. Also give her lots of healthy finger food that she can eat herself.
Try not to worry about nursery ... if DS hadn't eaten much at nursery when he was that age he would make up for it when he got home. I always offered him food when we got home at 6pm even though he had supposedly had 'tea' ... made me feel better anyway

Original poster

karen99 · 27/05/2004 17:57

Thanks all for the great advice. I must admit I chickened out last night. I feel alot better hearing the ages 13,14,15 months etc. I think we're both quite happy at the moment, but I'll pick the right meal, eg. breakfast-stodgy weetabix!, and just turn my back and leave him to it. Dinner is usually a bit runny (still puree). He'll be just that more coordinated in a few months.

Do you find that they only like puree or whole food, not a sort of half ground puree? Must admit that texture usually makes me feel sick so no wonder ds doesn't like it.

Reallyhip, sorry I've no advice but I'm sure you'll get more responses soon enough.

OP posts:

Chinchilla · 27/05/2004 20:41

My ds will be 3 in July, and he still doesn't feed himself He will eat finger food, and spoon a yoghurt though. When I ask him to feed himself, he says 'Not today...soon. When I'm 3.' He's a lazy so and so. Any tips? Sorry to but in Karen, started out wanting to reassure you, but went on from there!

muminlondon · 27/05/2004 20:43

I agree about the finger food or lump-free purees - must be the easiest things for self-feeding.

Also interested to see Coddy uses a fork - that'll be the implement of choice for the in-between texture, then.

Original poster

karen99 · 28/05/2004 08:36

chinchilla... I guess I'll take the advice of dinosaur "let him do the messy stuff now cos they get fussier as they get older" - I'm finding that out about lots of things!

OP posts:

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