18mth old not eating properly

[Merlin]

I need help! My ds has reached the stage of not wanting to sit in his high-chair wants to sit on the 'big' chair at the table. But then refuses most of his favorite foods when given to him. Just eats about half a slice of toast and marmite and a beaker of milk for breakfast, some days lunch and dinner are just a few spoonfuls but then is usually happy to eat biscuits, crisps etc given half a chance!, but even these are refused sometimes. I put it down to teething/his age etc, but if anyone has similar experiences or can make some suggestions I'd be very grateful! I've tried just making him sit there, but all he does is scream the house down! Any ideas??

My ds never really liked it in his high chair and havnt used it for ages. I have on many a day chased him around the room bowl and spoon in hand feeding him. He now has his own table and chair and is happy to sit there and eat. I think they just grow up and want to be like us, which is how they learn isnt it? Ds too goes through food fads when he is teething. He has just had a front tooth break through and it looks like his appetite is returning.

My dd is 19 months and is usually a good eater but has her phases. At the moment we sit her at her own table with a sml chair and she usually likes to feed herself, refusing anything on a spoon, unless she can spoon it in. Yesterday she suddenly started accepting spoon feeding again and ate dried apricots which she never eats but I have them as I am pregnant. She will ask for banana and then refuse to eat any of it when given to her and for a good while she wouldn't eat any breakfast at all. However, she is full of energy and is growing well and therefore I don't worry too much. I suppose like adults they have days where they don't fancy eating and teething is a factor definitely.

Thanks for the suggestions and comments. I'll give the picnic one a try tomorrow! Has eaten a bit more at teatime tonight and would you believe it was quite happy to sit in his highchair! Oh well tomorrow is another day - another battle!! He seems to be growing OK, although he is just under average on his weight - but he has always been so (was 3 wks early and 6lb 6oz) HV is happy with him so I guess I should be too!!

Merlin, both my dds did this at 18m's, it's just a bit of growing up and taking control of something. IME it's best to back off and not worry. Easier said than done I know, I used to worry loads about dd no.2 as she was a real lightweight! Born on the 25% and fluctuated between the 2nd and 9th at this period!! However as soon as she got her chair/cutlery/cups etc like her sis, and when I made myself change places at the table so I coulnd't interfere, she started eating much better. I think it's quite a normal phase, try to ignore any messing about and praise good bits. We had a long run, 1 month of every mealtime, with her screaming and trying to get on my lap. We persisted in putting her on the stairs (our time out place) as it was unfair on her sis, and us, to have her screaming all through each meal.It did work and towards the end of the month she'd do the obligatory sream, take herselves off to the stairs for a minute and then come and eat. Now at just 2 she uses her cutlery really well, even her knife and has better table manners than her sister sometimes!
One thing I would add is when they're doing this faddy eating,try not to give snacks, except fruit maybe, between meals. And try to have an hour or so of no food/drink before each meal, you may then stand a chance of getting something heathy in them! All the best.

Merlin - you describe my 17 month old perfectly, and I am going to try the picnic thing. The food that we waste in our house. First he loved Hot Cross Buns for breakfast so bought a load after Easter and froze them, now - loathes them. It is so hard, just when you think that they are eating well, then whoosh that's out of the window. Sunday was our best day ever, Cereal, Bananna, milk, toast, yoghurt and so on throughout every meal time, however, this week bad. Hey ho.

I don't want to sound too much like "mom," but if you give your child crisps and biscuits between meals she is not going to be hungry at meal times. My son is 18 mo. and he eats everything, though he still has his favorites (pasta and chicken sate). How much he eats at a sitting varies from day to day and I let him eat until he says "all done" and then leave it at that no matter how little he may have eaten. Like us adults, children's appetites vary. As long as you are feeding them healthy food, they will be just fine and will not suffer if a few meals are skipped.
Both my brother and I eat everything and my mother's theory always was that she never made an issue of food (so we didn't use it as a weapon against her) and never cooked a special "kids" meal for us. We always ate as a family and the children ate what the adults ate. I have done this with my son since he started with solids and so far it's worked very well. I am also quite strict with my step kids (8, 9 and 13) about snacking between meals and as a consequence they are much less picky and eat much more at meal time than they do in their mothers' houses where crisps, biscuits and sweet drinks are freely available all day.

Can you buy him a booster chair to sit on so he can sit properly and safely at the "big table"?
Or a child-size table and chairs?

I agree with batey, it's just a rebellious phase. Children are fickle creatures at this age, and what is their favourite one day they will refuse to even consider the next.

Give him healthy choices, (two or three, don't confuse him with too many) and if he says no to them, drop the subject. If he gets hungry, he will eat! Some days it may seem he doesn't eat much but if you write it down he probably eats more than you think.

Leave snacks on the table (fruit/vegies/rice crackers) so he can graze without feeling like he's "giving in".

Make it a rule that you sit when you eat, whether it is at the table or on a mat.

And make food fun - smiley faces made of fruit, sandwiches cut out with biscuit cutters, gooey spaghetti. Picnics, as sobernow suggested, or tea/birthday parties with teddy are also great.
HTH

Merlin what about sitting down to eat with him and putting similar food on your plate. I'll bet he'll want to eat yours.

Thanks everyone for more suggestions - he's been a bit better this week, even managing a weetabix for breakfast which he hasn't done for ages! But why are they so bloody contrary - yesterday as it was such a sunny day I was telling him how we would have a lovely picnic in the garden etc etc, but oh no, he wanted to sit in his highchair, indoors and proceeded to feed himself a big bowl of pasta and tom. sauce!! I give up .... but had to get the doctor to him Tues evening he had a mild case of croup so I shall put this weeks bad eating down to being a bit under the weather!!