I make the sauce in the way my grandmother taught me, which is how my mum made it, and etc etc etc
; make a roux, add milk slowly whisking/stirring, very low heat, keep adding milk until you stop. That's the basic.
On this occasion, I melted butter, softened chopped onions in it, added flour until I couldn't add any more, added mustard powder, tiny bit of mace likewise of cayenne. Then I started adding milk. Lots and lots of stirring later I had a thick onion sauce and chucked in a load of cheese, stir stir stir until melted. End.
It's OK, my sauce is fine, the milk didn't boil, it's a lovely thick cheesy sauce for cauliflower and we shall pig out tonight.
I just wondered if there was some reason you shouldn't let the sauce boil, like it would split or something? Something, like the flour behaves differently... curiosity will kill me one day. I expect I'm a cat. 