Veggie husband - how do people manage this?

[macneil]

My husband has been a vegetarian since he was about 12. He always had really nasty cheap gristly food when he was growing up, his mum never made fresh food, and it really makes him sick, the idea of it, the smell, look, taste of it. I know this is very very wimpy of him. I LOVE meat, and think frying a nice piece of fish and serving with veggies and salad is the easiest way to be thin - but, I love him, and have always agreed to eat veggie evening meals with him, and I have meaty sandwiches or whatever for lunch, and eat meat if we eat out.

I'm a bit worried about my (unborn) baby growing up veggie - I can give her meat in the day, but what if she wants it at night? I suppose I could fry her little chicken breast fillets and add them to veggie meals? It will freak my husband out, but I want her to grow up with enough protein and iron. Does anyone have experience of it being this way around - it's usually women who are veggies and men who like meat, but I seem always to have gone out with bloody weedy veggies! - and how did they manage?

win up wind up wind up wind up

If not, then, wow, you are one outspoken (bordering on the very rude) lady

If you want advice from people who are veggie or have veggie people within their household, it would be a lot better to start with a mmore open minded approach to their chosen way of life don?t ya think??

We are virtually veggie (both been veggie for diff reasons on and off for decades). DD1 is veggie atm, DD2 eats what she is given! I frequently cook 4 different meal options and am used to it. I might do a pasta dish, divide in half, add quorn/extra cheese/veg in one and meat in the other half. Then cook variety of veggies so everyone can choose and are happy. Not hard or expensive. If you respect each other and wish to provide food that is nutritious and to their taste, it is a pleasure to go that extra effort so everyone eats well and remains healthy.

think you've touched a nerve Macneil.

dp is veggie, I'm not, ds is being brought up a veggie & sometimes I have similar concerns to you, I'm not used to having to 'think' about nutrition but now I'm responsible for ds I do. I think you are more likely to suffer deficiencies with respect to lack of essential vitamins if you follow a meat eaters diet, than you are to suffer iron/protein deficiencies if you follow a veggie diet,(unless you're only eating lettuce!).

My family's attitude is the same as yours & one brother takes great delight in telling me how his daughters enjoy the gory aspects of meat preparation. He thinks he's teasing me, I think he's deluded, but not necessarily offensive.

I'd leave him.

my dh turned veggie a few years ago ( I married him as a meat eater - in fact I wouldn't have even dated a veggie - too much of a faff).
My children are not vegetarian. We have had a roast today, dh just has the same but no meat, loads of veg. We do pasta meals (sometimes add chicken to ours), or if we have say salmon he has the vegetables and I just make extra. If we're having shepherds pie or the like I use two pans and make one lot of mince and one of quorn - make plenty and freeze whats left to make it easier next time.
I would much prefer he ate meat as it would be easier but to be truthful it isn't that difficult and the whole family eat some fully vegetarian meals. But I wouldn't accept not eating meat whilst he was around and having to eat it during the day

lol hunker - I must admit the thought crossed my mind with my veggie dh

Quite honestly, I thought I was being polite to the vegetarians. I obviously know how to cook vegetarian food after being so kind to my husband for the last three years, so really the advice I was seeking was from the non-vegetarians with vegetarian partners. Therefore I find myself still bemused by the vegetarians who have a) taken offence at what I thought was a light tone and b) threaten to withhold the wisdom of the World of Vegetables for my insolence. I suppose I was unclear in my original posts - I really just wondered how women like me felt about not just changing their lives for their partners' eccentricities, but changing their children's. Those answers have been fabulous, interesting, and very helpful, thank you. Once again, I'm baffled to have got the goats of so many vegetarians, it wasn't a wind up, but no offence was meant. I misread the situation so comprehensively that I wonder if even smilies would have saved me.

on a lighter note I wish there were more choice in the ready made baby food section for veggies.

lol hunker!

dh and i don't eat meat, though we do eat a little fish now and again. to be honest, i can't imagine i'd have married a man who ate meat. it's not an animal rights thing for us, we just find it vile.

dd is 6 months, she'll eat what we eat at home, but if she's out and about she'll eat whatever who she's with is having. at nursery she'll eat whatever. if she wants meat she'll have it, if not fine. she just won't get it at home.

my DH is a veggie anhd we are bringing the DSs up to be as well. I'm not a veggie but only cook veggie food at home.

Not wanting to get into this big hoo har but I'm not sure that I am "changing my life for my partners' eccentricities" but rather respecting his perfectly valid view pioint on something that is important to him.

I'm sure if you want your children to eat meat, then giving it to them at lunchtime if he is not there would be fine. I suppose between you and your DH you need to both work out what you want to do wITh your children in this regard.

Nobody needs to eat meat every day let alone twice a day and I'm sure (since you sound like you emjoy cooking) you could come up with interesting healthy veggie food for your children as well.

Just to add, I have 3 big strapping lads who are both veggie and my DH is the last person you would describe as weedy!

To answer the OP, with great difficultly, because my dh is a fussy eater (imo) as well as eating no meat!!

But he did start eating fish just over a year ago which has made things a bit easier.

Must go, will try to remember to come back to this thread.

My dh is veggie (no fish or meat), but as a personal preference - has no objection to me and Dd being very carnivorous.

Don't find it at all difficult.

Eating meat every day is excessive in any case. When I do want meat I'll buy, say, a nice big steak and cook it and eat it (share with Dd). Say if we're having pasta I'll make a load of bolognese and a load of roast vegetables in tomatoe sauce. It'll keep well enough to last a couple of meals, so you aren't actually cooking any more than you would if you all ate the same. If we eat soup, I'll crumble ham or salami into mime and Dds. When we have salad put tuna on the side of mine.

It helps that my Dh is very tolerant of thick soups as main meals; also salds with beans. I don't have to make a full veggie meal every night, so it is not a tyranny. One night I'll make a big vat of minestrone for everyone, next night dh can have more minestrone, and I'll cook a salmon steak for me and dd

this is a joke thread, isn't it??

I was ready to help you with your dilema (if you can call it that. Seems to be a bit of a long issue to me but anyway) but I don't think I will bother after reading your comments.

I don't believe this can be serious.

non issue, sorry

Good grief, what crazies! It was a non-serious way of asking a genuine question. But hey, thanks for all the posts that say they would have helped and won't now because I've been so offensive: you can imagine how much I regret the loss of that advice. What wisdom could have been mine! Now I can see that calling my husband wimpy on a chat board for squealing when he sees a sausage is beyond the pale in these parts. It won't happen again.

tbh, and without wishing to sound rude, it really is a non issue.

Your unborn baby can be (and will be) just as healthy without meat at every meal.

And from your posts it sounds as though it is only the evening meal anyway. Meat isn't needed at every meal. Your child will be fine.

Macneil, I don't really think you deserve the some of the responses you've had here. Although your OP could have been phrased better tbh.

As I said earlier, my dh was a vegetarian until about a year ago when he decided to eat fish again. He had some vague idea that the children would be brought up as vegetarians until I pointed out that as I do the vast majority of the cooking and the fact that he is rarely at home for their mealtimes meant that I would decide what happens re their diet. He had obviously had to accept this. If our children want to become vegetarian later on, that's fine too.

When you say your dh will freak out, what do you mean?

Mercy: I mean he acts like I'm eating a turd pushed between two pieces of bread if I'm eating a chicken sandwich, and complains if I put meat in the fridge - I had very bad morning sickness and meat was the only thing I didn't throw up, so he had to get used to it over the summer, but he didn't like it. It's not like I'm afraid of him, but I don't want to make him unhappy. That's why I eat vegetarian with him. But meat isn't nothing to people. I was a real foodie before I met him, and we usually go to veggie restaurants (so he gets a choice) because, well, I just dig him - but I miss cooking meat. Eating pre-cooked stuff isn't the same.

As far as the health (non) issue goes: as a kid I didn't like vegetables - I only started really loving them at about 18, so I just thought it might be possible that instead of eating a balanced diet, my kid would - if confined to veggie - only go for cheese and bread, say. Actually, I didn't even eat cheese as a kid - the only veggie stuff I ate was, like, cake, rice, crisps. As I'm not yet a mother, I simply don't know how feeding kids works yet, whether one can introduce good eating behaviour by being sane and sensible, or whether a lot of it is down to luck. I'm not going to stand over my kid telling it it has to eat - I think. Who knows how insane I'll be? But I think no one would really argue with the notion that eating fish is very healthy, low fat, and pretty good for kids, so I am concerned about it not being a part of my kid's diet, and I can hardly fry up a sea bass for lunch, and when the kid goes to school, I won't have any influence at all. It was, however, just a question. I honestly didn't intend to outrage the community. The answers from the non-vegetarians with vegetarian husbands exactly hit the spot, and were very helpful , thank you.

If you are worried about iron take Floradix tablets(Holland & Barratt normally have it)- it is much more easily and quickly absorbed than any of the over the counter ones like Pregaday (midwives tend to agree with this) and is safe to take while pregnant.

Message withdrawn

I'm something of a talkboard slag, so I've been around lots of talkboard arguments and am not upset by a stern talking to, so please don't worry about that. I really didn't mean to offend anyone, but then I was rather amused by the degree to which the veggies took offence at the - I thought - rather throwaway 'weedy' jibes. But all boards are different, you have to find people's comfort levels. I suppose I come from boards that are a bit more knockabout, and should have eased in more slowly. I have a blood test tomorrow before my section, and I've been pretty scarily anaemic at all the other ones, something I've never had before - obviously the pregnancy contributes to that - but it is convenient and fun to blame my husband. I seem to throw up all maternity vitamins ten minutes after taking them. Will definitely look out for the iron you recommend, thanks.

macneil - I was very anaemic after my c-section & reacted badly to the ferrous sulphate that the hosp. gave me as a supplement so tried the floradix liquid from Holland & Barrett. It's ferrous gluconate, more easily absorbed, doesn't upset my stomach & the gluten & yeast free one is actually quite tasty.

I'm looking at the website now. It appears to be FANTASTIC! Why haven't I just been taking this forever?

www.florahealth.com

MacNeil
I'm a bit late to this thread but just wanted to say that your original OP actually made me laugh quite a lot. I feel quite similarly (in the fondest way possible of course) about my dh who has been a vegetarian for about 10 years now.
my ex dh was veggie too! so I know what you mean about always ending up with 'bloody veggies'. (ex dh and dh are also both scared of flying too but that is another story]

Dh is not squeamish about meat though and will happily cook it for me and did in copious quantiies of steak and liver when I was anaemic before and after ds's birth.

On the whole we tackled this (both pre and post DS) by DH doing the bulk of the cooking and planning /shopping for the evening meal - so evening meals are always veggie with very few exceptions. I get my meat at lunchtime and during the day

I was also worried about providing a balanced diet for ds as a veggie (Please please all you veggies I know this is perfectly possible but I just had no inclination to do it ). I basically presented dh with the option of looking after ds and cooking all his meals or him letting me do it. It wasn't actually a big discussion because dh was a bit concerned about providing a balanced diet as well.

It is not however a perfect solution and I do find it quite difficult. I particularly miss having nice eating out experiences. For instance on my birthday we have the choice of eating in a vegetarian restaurant (fine but would not be my first choice at all) or choosing a restaurant I would like and having dh eat quite badly which always spoils the experience somewhat for me.

On the whole the niggles are minor though and we joke about the whole thing as as a family. DH often pretends to salivate over the meat I eat and I take the piss out of lentil suckers(gently) or vica versa.