Can Eat, Won't Eat

[gscrym]

Can anyone help me?
My little boy is 21 months old and I've tried everything but he just won't eat proper food. The closest we got was puried casseroles and curries but now he's gone off them aswell. He can chew and bite because he'll eat rusks and biscuits but just throws everything else away. At the moment, he seems to be living on wheatabix and fruit puree or fromage frais. I keep getting told that if he won't eat what I put in front of him then just take it away and try again at his next meal time. I've also tried sandwiches but he just takes them to pieces and throws the various bits to the dog. He doesn't drink loads of milk but does like fruit juice which we water down for him.
I'm really lost on this one as I keep hearing how wveryone else I knows kids are eating chicken nuggets and real food and Daniel won't go passed mush.

How does he eat the things like casseroles? Does he feed himself with a spoon or fork? If so, could you try to put the sorts of food you'd like him to eat in a very mushy state for him to self feed them? If he still likes you to feed him with a spoon maybe if he tried to do it more himself he'd get interested?

Rusks and biscuits are pretty easy to eat (they dissolve in the mouth) so he's obviously not keen on attempting things that take more chewing. What's he like with pieces of soft boiled veg. or fruit? Or why not try other soft finger foods like a little pile of grated cheese, boiled potatoes or potato waffles (they were the first finger foods my fussy dd would touch and she still loves them). My dd is 18 months and eats a range of finger foods from broccoli, pasta, soft bread etc. but when it comes to things like nuggets (which I'm not sure I'd call 'real food'!) or even lightly toasted bread she can't manage at all so I give her things she can / will eat and I'm sure she'll be ready for tougher things later.

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Have you got a slow-cooker? Slo-cooked chicken casserole or similar should be pretty soft. And add fruit to make it sweet (chicken & peaches, pork & apricot etc). Then park him in front of cbeebies and shovel it in...

If we get warm weather again you could try picnicing in the garden. Might be distracting enough to get him eating. Jam sandwiches defy pulling to pieces quite well.

Nutritionally, weetabix and fruit sounds great. DD has that for breakfast and its the best meal of her day! Is your issue that he's not eating well (content) or that he's not progressing onto more adult-type food? One option is to chill out, and keep feeding him mush until all his molars are through.

What about skinless cocktail sausages? And Smiley potato faces (dd wouldn't touch potato till we found these; progressed onto roast potatoes afterwards). Thomas Tank nuggets? You can move onto less junk-type-stuff once he's got used to chewing.

The other thing that worked for dd was eating with other kids. Do you have any friends with slightly older children that you could invite round for tea?

How about sitting and eating toast with chocolate spread on, in front of him, and say "no, no, you can't have this it's only for big people" until he begs?

Sorry this is a bit disjointed, brain is having a weekend.

If it is any consolation, DD now 3, went through a stage of fussy eating from the age of 18 months to 35 months!!!!
She would only eat fruit, yoghurt, salad, processed meat, occasionally a smiley face, and marmoite sandwiches.
Now she will eat potato, most white meat and various sandwiches as well as the above. This is such an improvement!!!
I have to say that nursery helped as they offer a variety of food whuich most kids eat, this is what made her eat chicken!! Also, we stopped offering an alternative, sometimes she missed a whole meal, especially if we were out.
Do keep trying, it does happen eventually. But I will say that if I could go back, I would have only offered DD real food, no nuggets, smiley faces etc, and stuck with pasta, rice etc which is our next aim!!!!
Also, my friend's DD is 3 and never ate proper food until last month - again, she eats it at nursery - now she'll have spag bol, rice dishes and potato!!
Stick with it, he eats biscuiys so he can bite and chew. Good luck!!!

Zerub,
Got one problem with the chocolate spread. I'm allergic to caffein so can't have any. No crumpling into the couch with a large chocolate cake for me when I'm pre-menstrual!
I've been reading his diary from the child-minder and the little darling will eat everything healthy and snacky for her but not for me. I think he's practising for the terrible 2's.
Anyhoo, I'm off work for three weeks and I was going to try potty training him but I might have to just keep going with food.
Does anyone know if that Potty Training In One Week book works?

Have you tried Heinz tomatoe soup.....its quite sweet but the ingrediants on the can don't look too bad ...my two boys (20 months and 3 1/4) love it with bread to dunk in it....it has novelty value as well.

My littly (18 mths) loves to have boiled egg and soldiers - she does the dunking. Quite nutritious if you use wholewheat bread, and she usually manages to get a bit of yolk in her. Have wet cloth at the ready though!
If you are talking about the Gina Ford potty training in 1 week, we did that, but it did take longer than a week. I think the worst was over after 2 wks, with the occasional slip up. On the whole I would say it was quite helpful.

my dd now nearly 23 months has been like this since approx 9 months gradually getting worse and more fussy. She lives on sweet things!!. I've posted on here before about this and the advice given was not to fight it but give her what she wants to a certain degree and keep on offering a healthy option aswell.

My dd can chew but lives on pureed fruit, porridge, crisps, brown bread and honey/choc spread, pikelets, waffles, sometimes cali cheese, soups(smooth of course)

What I'm trying to say his my dd won't eat proper food either. She would rather starve than eat our food. Things like pasta/rice/chicken/real fruit pieces instead of pureed!!/veg are totally out of the question and I just don't bother any more. Occasionally I will offer her something I am eating and she will angrily refuse. I'm waiting until I can hopefull try and reason with her in the near future and maybe try to bribe her with proper food. God the things we have to do!! Good luck, as long as your ds is not losing weight etc etc, we all get there in the end I suppose.

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gscrym, sorry you're havign such a hard time. I do think the key is not to worry and make a fuss (easy to say, I know) - no-one, even a child, will starve themselves so as long as they are offered food at mealtimes they will eat in the end. Mine sometimes eat masses for lunch and then no tea, but I just take it away and say OK, no problem, you don't want that now. Have you tried really soft-cooked pasta (just adult shapes like tubes or spirals) or maybe soft fruit like banana or well-cooked carrot sticks. Something he can hold onto but that is not too hard to chew. It is important to move on from pureed foods as children get older. Do you still feed him or is he doing it himself? Good suggestions from others about having other children round. Also I know it sounds obvious but try sitting down with him to eat (you may well do this!), nobody likes to be sat and watched. Don't make an issue of it and I'm sure it will get better

My ds is a terrible eater also. At nursery he eats whatever is put in front of him, at home it can be a battle. I think they know that at home there is an alternative, as I would give him bread and cheese if he didn't eat what dh and I were having. I now try to be calm and remove his food and not make a big issue. Things are slightly better but not great. We have however had a revelation with meatballs - ds adores them. Clean plate every time!

I am having exactly the same problem and it is driving us mad. Harry is 21months and is exsisting on yoghurt, rasins and milk. Is this safe? We have offered him everything under the sun to eat, been controlled about not giving in all the way to little pigeon meals, all to no avail. We have others here for tea, we go out, you name it we have tried it. He is now waking up at night and asking for milk........ help!!! Something needs to work, just saying its a phase doesn't help as he must be starving!

My daughter is 21 months old and trying to get her to eat is driving me scatty, she has eatenin the past smiley faces, thin chips, chicken nuggets, fish fingers, peas, mac cheese, spag bol, ravioli, ham, beef, toast with marmite on, banana, cheese triangles. But refuses to eat any fresh veg or fruit. She's now taken to eating virtually nothing all day, meals are put in front of her but she just isn't interested.She's healthy and has no problem chewing. I've tried the TV on and off, cbeebies, books, eating with us at the main table, eating at her table, but i've come to a standstill, the biggest problem is that she has started to suffer from constipation, which is not very nice for her, which i'm sure is down to her diet.

lilycat, I guess the only way to know for sure if your ds is really coping ok on his diet is to keep a check on his weight and also by observing if he's fit and active and not grumbling too much. I think milk is meant to be more than a drink, more like a food. Is there any chance you can cut down on the milk? It might take a day or two but it definitely increased my dd's appetite. Also make sure there's a good couple of hours between milk and food.

This is getting worse. After a week, the only meal he's had except breakfast has been a small bowl of chicken curry. Everything else has been refused. When I've tried to put the spoon in his mouth when he's not looking, he pushes it away, closes his mouth a cries. I've had a look in there, it doesn't look sore. I've tried putting his lunch in front of him and all he does is squish it into his hands. I've tried the chocolate spread sarnies, they got thrown away. I've tried letting him go without lunch and all he does is go to sleep.
I'm so stressed about this. DH just keeps saying `he won't eat if he doesn't want to.' He'll eat biscuits and fromage frais till the cows come home I'm just scared he goes off his food totally and ends up only taking milk.
Any ideas or help would be wonderful. I don't know how much longer I can keep going with this.

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Is his weight/growth OK? You sound as though you may be beginning to worry he is actually ill on your post today, is this a concern or is it just an 'eating habit' crisis?

gscrym - I really know what you're going through. My ds is a bit older than yours - 35 months, but he goes through phases of eating nothing. I've been through the 'one spoonful of rice krispies for breakfast, no lunch, small bowl of raisins for tea.' I've tried eating together, eating in front of the TV, no snacks, lots of snacks to keep up energy levels.

I think the bottom line is you can't make him eat. But I think they do pick up on stress - ds eats a lot more when we are relaxed about it, and so we have a policy of not trying to make him eat anything at all. Just putting the food there and letting him be in control of taking it. His favourites at the moment are pasta and yoghurts.

I know it is scary - ds is as thin as can be, and looks a bit like a famine victim at times. But I am convinced that the way forward is low stress, especially around the child.

Hope things look up soon - it may just be a phase, or he may not be growing much at the moment. I honestly think my ds lives on air half the time!

For the time being, if I were you, I'd give him as many fromage frais and biscuit meals as he wants. Try to make the biscuits as healthy as possible and fromage frais is good for them too. He drinks milk too I think you said? Then he will be fine. Like others have said if you get stressed he'll do the opposite of what you want him to. Sometimes when dd's being really fussy and has barely eaten I get her out of the highchair and leave a little pile of grated cheese in a play bowl from her toys in an odd place where she plays. I'll sneak a look and she's scoffing it down. I do the same with a bit of bread. Ok, I know it's not how I want her to eat but trying to force the issue leaves her having nothing at all.

How are his weight and daily behaviour?

He seems happy and fine in himself. He's always been really skinny. He's at the older end of 18-24 month clothes but no trousers will stay on him because his waist is so tiny. I can't really leave any food lying in places where he plays becuase the dog eats everything that isn't nailed down.
The biscuits he gets are the little animal biscuits out of Boots that are low sugar. He really like the Hipp Organic ones that had fruit juice in them but I can't get them anywhere up here. If I left him with a packet of jammy dodgers, he'd scoff the lot.
I know I'm stressing but I know my mum said that my brother was a really fussy eater at this age and he had loads of problems with his health growing up. I suppose if he's playing and happy I should just let him get on with it. He should be due a development check ksoon so I'll chat to the health visitor about it.

Thanks everyone