Dining table etiquette

[speedymama]

This may seem trivial but as they say, "learn from excellence".

DTS are now 2yo 9months and sit at the dining table in their booster chairs. DT1 tends to focus on his meals and eats them quickly whereas DT2 is easily distracted and will have only eaten 2 or 3 mouthfuls by the time DT1 has finished. My dilemma is this.

When DT1 has finished, he will let me know because the main meal is followed by dessert and or fruit. Sometimes I say that he has to wait until DT2 has finished his main meal so that they can have their desserts together and I end up feeding DT2. At other times, I give DT1 his dessert and then DT2 pushes his main meal away in order that I can give him his dessert. The problem with scenario 1 is that I feel DT1 is being penalised for DT2 tardiness in eating whereas in scenario 2, DT2 will not finish his main meal, even if I tell him that there is no dessert until he has eaten most of his dinner.

So, what is the best way forward? My thoughts are that I should continue with scenario 2 and not give DT2 any dessert unless he eats most of his dinner. What do you think?

As a child, my family rarely sat around the table together due to parents working different hours and not enough space to fit us all round the table, so I'm not familiar with the correct protocol, if one exists.

hmm, pesonally, would not give dt1 his pud until both are finished. I do this with my 3 kids who are 11, 9 and 5. 11 yr old always finishes quickly and 5 yr old is usually last and they do get a bit fed up sometimes. Its the same with not leaving the table until everyone is finished - causes a few arguments but I prefer it to poor ds2 sitting on his own

Well DH always scoffs his food faster than anyone else and I make him wait... I think its one of those things you learn about sharing a meal that there is a ritual which is also as important as the food. Otherwise come Christmas dinner you could have one twin on pud and one on turkey and chaos for all!

I don't blame you for trying to get them into a 'dining routine', but just thought I'd mention that my ds and dd both eat at totally different speeds.

They did as babies, and still do today as teenagers. And it can get annoying! But I know that dd will eat most of her meal if given enough time, so we do try to drag out the first course.

Harder when they're babies, of course .

I must admit, I did wonder what would happen when they are older and we are all eating together.

Thanks for your advice. Poor DT1 will have to wait for DT2 in future but as they are good at sharing, maybe I can couch it in those terms so that he understands.

personally I wouldn't make a child wait, I would hand over pudding to them as they finish their own meals.

I don't have twins nor is my dd at that age yet but, if I was you then i'd be inclined to give dt1 his pudding when he has finished. It may make dt2 hurry up a bit or see what he's missing out on if he doesn't eat some of his dinner? Ignore me if you think i'm talking out my behind

Oh, this is such a dilemma! On one hand, I think why should DT1 be made to wait but on the other hand, when they are older and we are eating together, I would like us to all eat the same course at the same time so if that means that the faster eaters have to wait, so be it.

What to do, what to do?!!!

When they are older, dt1 will better understand why he has to wait anyway. ATM he is too young and he will just get upset.

That's the thing Colditz. I do worry that by making DT1 wait, he may stop being such a good eater, if that makes sense.